- Aren't all of these books in the clearance aisles the same ones I saw while Christmas shopping?

- Sarasota must be really obsessed with astrology, Barack Obama, pet psychology, and Eastern cooking. Or the whole country is.

- Is that a Juno songbook in the guitar tablature section? Somebody actually wrote those crappy songs instead of making them up on the fly?

- There's also a Guitar Hero book of guitar tabs. Is it just red-blue-blue-red-green-red-blue-green-red...?

- My back sprain is not as healed as I thought. Thank goodness I'm in a store with chairs.

- Why am I drawn to trivia books? I already knew that flamingos eat with their heads upside down and Bill Clinton was the first left-handed president to serve two terms. I didn't know that Attila the Hun was a dwarf, though.

- The teen books section in three words: Vampires, vampires, vampires.

- Why is there always the same stack of globes in the back of the store? Who buys those? Apparently nobody.

- I know how much of an incredible nerd this makes me sound, but I confess that I was actually drawn to Star Trek Monopoly for a moment. What is wrong with me?


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Ketchup Packets

I was verbally mugged by a former coworker today, a guy I used to think of as a friend some time ago. I had the displeasure of laying him off last year, and after months of struggling to get by with nothing but condiments in his fridge, he started a blog to vent his frustration at me and a few other coworkers he disliked. The comments are very mean-spirited, from professional criticisms about my managerial competence and decision-making, to personal and apparently very nasty jokes about my weight and appearance. Go »

Eww

Gross is dreaming about eating a bagel slathered with rich cream cheese, then waking up and realizing that "taste" is the bacterial film in your mouth. Go »

Dr. Jerk

I wish doctors would treat me like a person, instead of a fat person. No matter what complaint sends me to the doctor in the first place, within minutes, every visit turns into a conversation about how I need to lose weight, and what will happen if I don't. Like I haven't tried a thousand times to lose weight. Go »

Who's Got (Car) Trouble

I'm not even halfway through paying off my new car and already it's being towed to have the engine worked on, since it won't start tonight. It didn't deal well with Kelly's camping event last weekend, coming home with creaking suspension and broken power locks, and now this. He's hoping all four tires (just replaced in the spring) make it through GooCon this time. Go »

New Baby Upstairs

WAAAH WAAAH WAAAH WAAAH WAAAH WAAAH WAAAH WAAAH WAAAH WAAAH WAAAH WAAAH WAAAH WAAAH WAAAH WAAAH WAAAH WAAAH WAAAH WAAAH WAAAH WAAAH WAAAH WAAAH WAAAH WAAAH WAAAH WAAAH WAAAH WAAAH WAAAH WAAAH WAAAH... Go »

Scott's Pet Peeve #8431

Random strangers on Facebook are not exactly known for impressive displays of intellect, but with several of my friends in the hospital recently, I've been annoyed by one particular bad habit that their friends seem to have: 1) Someone posts that s/he is experiencing a certain medical problem and is going into the hospital. Friends reply with supportive words. 2) A few hours later, the OP posts an update describing what the doctors are doing. Go »