"So what did you do this weekend?"

"I went drag racing."

"Really? I didn't know you were into that."

"Yeah, it's fun. But it's really hard to run in high heels."


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

It's All About Me

I regret if my rantings around this site have come across either whiny, as I coped with illnesses and a busy schedule, or hypocritical, as I griped about Christmas cheer while still participating in the holiday. I don't regret if they came across as self-centered. Go »

Trial of the Century

I served on my first jury last week, for the gripping case of the Walmart Protein Bar Bandit, accused of a $1.46 theft. Voir dire was oddly focused on whether grazing (eating groceries before you pay for them) was acceptable, whether eating protein right after a workout is important, and whether any of us had strong feelings about the Walmart corporation. Go »

Blood Lines

A few weeks ago, I dropped a glass bottle of salad dressing on the kitchen floor, making the house smell like vinaigrette for a day. Today, I stepped on the last errant bit of glass hiding in a crack of tile by the corner. Better my foot than the cat's paw, I guess; I don't lick between my toes. Go »

The Vagueness Continues

Things are looking up. Tomorrow, we sign the lease on a new house in Sarasota, bigger and cheaper than the ridiculously overpriced apartment we've had for five years. It's the first in a series of changes that we've wanted to make for a long time. Go »

What I Did on My Christmas Vacation

The last week and a half was some of the most fun I've had in a long time, and a much-needed vacation. I tend to take many short weekend trips each year rather than one long break, but it feels so good to be rejuvenated and rested for a change. "Christmas" came on Sunday the 23rd, dinner with my mom and Santa's usual generosity all around. Go »

Protecting the Children

"Oh yeah, well you can suck my anus!" "Dude, watch your language! There are kids around." Go »