No More Laundry

Scott Hardie | October 7, 2006
What would be the best thing about being the last person on Earth?

Jackie Mason | October 7, 2006
[hidden by request]

Adrianne Rodgers | October 8, 2006
I really could dance like no one was watching and sing like no one was listening.

John E Gunter | October 9, 2006
LOL Jackie!

I think it would be pretty dull being the last person on Earth. Really wouldn't want to go there even though you wouldn't need to worry about being responsible for anything!

Aaron Shurtleff | October 9, 2006
I wouldn't have to worry about my anti-social tendencies! :P

Seriously, though, the best things about being the last person on Earth:

Everywhere is my naked place! ;)

How's that for TMI?

Michael Paul Cote | October 9, 2006
Knowing that I outlived Bill Gates and all the other people I dislike.

Scott Hardie | October 13, 2006
I thought of this topic when I remembered a boys' adventure book from when I was a kid, in which the great reward of being the last person on Earth was not having to do dishes any more, since you could just throw out the dirty dishes! To this day I have not figured out whether that was just an imaginationless children's book pandering to the limited perspective of children, or one of the funniest abstract jokes I've ever read.

Either way, I hoped for some funny answers, and I got them; thanks for the contributions. :-)

Amy Austin | October 15, 2006
Jackie, that was an old episode of Twilight Zone, right??? (I vaguely remember it.) Ditto what John said -- you're funny... and wouldn't really want to go there. Not without company, that's for sure!!!

But...

Like Adrianne, I would also enjoy singing without prejudice... and, like Aaron, as a jaybird! ;-D

Jackie Mason | October 20, 2006
[hidden by request]

Amy Austin | October 20, 2006
I think I second that, Jackie... though, I'd like to think I would be lucky (unlucky???) enough to co-survive with E -- God help me for saying so. I think I'd better stop there. ;-D

Scott Hardie | October 22, 2006
Ellen Degeneres to a man who has just propositioned her in a bar: "Even if you and I were the last two people alive and it was up to us to repopulate the Earth, I'd swim to China at the merest hint that Steve Urkel was still alive there."

Lori Lancaster | October 22, 2006
[hidden by request]

Kerry Odell | October 23, 2006
Breaking into dealerships and taking the fastest, highest priced cars I can find and driving them on empty highways!!! Once I figure out how to turn on the gas pumps LOL :)

Hmmm....BMW, Maserati, Ferrari, Aston Martin, Acura, Jaguar,and Hummer for starters. Then there's the Bugatti Veyron with it's 16 cylinder 1000bhp +/- engine, but I'd bet I'd have to learn how to fly a plane for that one!

Jackie Mason | October 24, 2006
[hidden by request]

Kerry Odell | October 24, 2006
Not for me....for me it's like Ricky Bobby "I wanna go fast!"

I have a tendency to speed anyway and have bad luck with Florida's finest, so for me it would be about driving the way I want in a car that I wouldn't normally have. Would be fun to add a police cruiser to the list....just because. ;)

Scott Hardie | October 25, 2006
I'd do the same thing, Kerry, but in town instead of the highway. Something about rush-hour congestion makes me fantasize about doing ninety down Main Street.

Amy Austin | October 25, 2006
Haha... that gave me a chuckle, Kerry -- I defintely feel your pain... I'm from Florida, too, and having spent most of my life there, it's also where my largest assortment of "gifts" from the "finest" came from, too. (And I don't mean chocolates, either! ;-D)

Aaron Shurtleff | October 25, 2006
Yes, they do like to give the gifts in Florida! :P

Kerry Odell | October 27, 2006
LOL....No doubt!! I had one FHP officer pull me over at dusk. All I went out for the whole day was a sandwich from Subway cause I didn't feel like making a mess. He asked my why I didn't have my glasses on and I told him I had contacts. He still couldn't see them after shining a flashlight in my eyes so finally I popped one out (which of course burns like hell when you put it back in) and he tells me I didn't have to do that!

Yea right! Sure! You can't see it...let's see pop it out or get a ticket for not wearing corrective lenses. Tough decision. Then he calls in my info and tells me to step out of the car. Stand to the rear. Take your hands out of your pockets. Do you have any weapons. Have you ever been arrested.

No officer, no arrests...only a fix it ticket granted me an inside view to a police station. Then he blows me away with his next statement "Why are you lying to me....you have a record!!"

What??? Who me??? Bad driving record...yeah ok. I take credit for that, but a record???? I don't think so. So I politely argue that I've never been arrested and basically implored him to have the person on the other end of the nextel run my info again .....there has to be a mistake. Sure enough.....I'm sorry ma'am, the screen had your name on it but the information from the other person didn't change (it does happen...seen it in our old version of Kronos at work when there are network delays.)


Ok great. 30 minutes on the side of the road and much hassle to me...even calling me a liar. There's no way he'll give me a speeding ticket cause he wasn't running radar. Can't give me a ticket cause I pulled my contact out so he could see that I had them on. All my lights and blinkers are working....can't give me a ticket for that, so for once I'm getting off free................NOT!

After all that he still gives me a ticket for having the wrong address on my registration, even though it was due to renew the next month. Figures....my $6 sub meal from subway cost me $57.

Thanks alot FHP!

HA!

Amy Austin | October 29, 2006
Wow! What a dick!!! And I thought I'd happened upon some asshole "authority figures" in my time...

Michael Paul Cote | October 31, 2006
My ex was stopped in Safety Harbor, FL - walking down the street, first because the deputy thought she was skipping school, then, because she was dressed "provocatively" (short skirt is illegal now?)
and held up on the corner while two other cruisers joined the party, friends and neighbors drove by and she was all but acused of being a hooker. When they ran her info, they came up with a woman wanted in Miami. Of course, it took fifteen minutes for them to realize that Tara Watson was BLACK! Her boss finally had to walk down the block to convince the police that she was actually a chef at her bistro. We did get an apology after I complained to the Sherriff's dept.

Tony Peters | November 1, 2006
dicks...I was recently detained while re-entering the USA from Italy because "I had transited Bahrain twice in a 2 week period last month" The Primary agent decided that it looked suspicious...granted he was also holding my Military ID card and my orders for my Italy trip but I guess my name is on a watch list and I had to go to the secondary area...that was an hour of truely wasted time, all of which I was questioned and harrassed by two agents as to why I had numerous trips to Singapore, Japan and the middle east that ended 3 years ago and now trips to Europe and the middle east (yes the agent had my entire passport history in front f him). I finally convinced him that my trip to Diego Garcia required me to transit through Bahrain (it one of only two ways to get to the island the onther is through Singapore) but not before they made my life miserable. Just one more reason for me to consider leaving the USA when I retire. This country is geting way way to self important and uptight