The Frog

Scott Hardie | July 2, 2003
Ever have a moment when you realize you were just hallucinating, but it seemed so real? I got the jibbly-jibblies today from a frog.

It was the middle of the afternoon. I parked in front of the house of a woman I was supposed to meet. The wind was blowing something fierce, creating a weird plucking sound in some kind of wind chime she had. (It sounded like a child's jack in the box, but it wasn't playing "Pop Goes the Weasel," just random tones from the wind.) There was no one around, and no other noise. There were frog decorations all around the house. I knocked twice, and the footsteps were so loud inside that the windows rattled, but no one answered, so I had no choice but to leave. When I got back to my car, a small frog, about the size of a child's fist, was sitting on the roof, just above the passenger door. It was a sort of bluish-green, like the ocean. It was puffing up and shrinking as it inhaled and exhaled, and as I walked over to it, it turned its head slightly and blinked at me. I didn't want to drive away with it on the roof, so I took out an envelope and rattled it in front of the frog. It blinked but didn't move. Then I pushed the envelope under the frog, trying to get it to jump down off of my car. Instead, it fell face down, legs up into the grass, and stayed there. When the legs didn't move, I bent down for a closer look. I could see that it had no belly. The frog was hollow inside, just a plastic decoration.

Conclusion: I've gotta get more sleep.

Anna Gregoline | July 2, 2003
Uh, dude? Who put the frog on your car?

Scott Hardie | July 2, 2003
Beats me. Nobody was around. The elderly woman was home, but that would mean she ran outside, put it on top of my car without me noticing (I did have my back turned), and ran back inside. There was a side door. I think it's more likely the heavy wind just blew it up there.

Lori Lancaster | July 2, 2003
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Dave Stoppenhagen | July 2, 2003
Many times have I had this feeling, mine were mostly Alcohol and drug related. The upside is that I never chased any giant penguins either.

Lori Lancaster | July 2, 2003
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Jackie Mason | July 2, 2003
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Lori Lancaster | July 2, 2003
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Erik Bates | July 3, 2003
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