They Made Their Own Bed...

Jackie Mason | January 12, 2007
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Tony Peters | January 12, 2007
yeah I read someplace that India is facing the same issues. Regardless in it's own way it looks like they are doing their part to keep the population down

Scott Hardie | February 1, 2007
I'm with you, Jackie.

Funny: In this country you're "selfish" if you choose not to have kids, but on the other side of the world, you're "selfish" if you have multiple kids. The disparity makes me think that neither is true.

Amy Austin | February 1, 2007
Maybe both are true. (Spoken by a "selfish" childless person.)

Kerry Odell | February 1, 2007
I have one son....selfish? I dunno...it's not like I had him to attract friends or men!! HAHAHAHHAHAA

What is selfish is having a child or children and not providing for them. Having pets and not taking care of them. Taking on any kind of obligation or responsibility and not taking care of it.

There's plenty of selfishness going around....don't need to go to China or India to find it.

Kris Weberg | February 2, 2007
Selfish is a question of motive, not of action. I've yet to hear a solid reasont hat births here would be considered selfish, beyond fantasies that boil down to racist conspiracy theories of the type: "White people are being outbred by them other folks."

In China and India, there's a disturbing cultural tradition of dowries paid by the bride's family, but also an expectation -- again, in certain segments of Indian society, generally more rural areas -- that the sons will provide care for the parents as adults. I'm not entirely sure that counts as "selfish" in the easily-explained fashion of a moral judgment, but it is arguably a very different sort of "birth economy' than in the U.S. or Europe.

There does seem to be a link between Westernization and the decline of birth rates, of course, but that hasd amuch to do with general attitudes about sex and about gender roles in the professions. The choice to have a child after marriage is only a choice in some parts of the world, after all.

Scott Hardie | February 19, 2007
One thing I find interesting about the problems caused by the one-child policy is how they weren't foreseen. What worried the generation that planned it? That there would be an inverted pyramid, how each married couple would have four parents and eight grandparents to support. In other words, the generation that launched this policy was concerned for their own welfare and apparently little about what crises would befall their descendants. Perhaps China and the U.S. have more in common than I thought.

Anna Gregoline | February 20, 2007
I think all motives for having children are selfish. But I don't begrudge people wanting kids - I just don't see any reason for wanting kids is non-selfish. That doesn't make people who want kids bad. Can you really think of one?

Denise Sawicki | February 20, 2007
Yeah, it is hard to wrap my head around the concept that *not* wanting kids is selfish. I guess the idea is that a childless person gets to spend more money on themselves instead of on kids. Not exactly my situation as it is usually difficult to get me to spend money at all...

Really, though, what human action *isn't* selfish in some way? In some convoluted way, everyone does what they want to do, given the limitations of their own situation.

Amy Austin | February 21, 2007
You can argue that the very notion of "survival" is selfish -- because essentially it is -- and, therefore, we are all guilty as charged. Therefore, on a Darwinian level, propagation of the species (as if we needed any help with that) definitely qualifies as selfishly motivated.

As for "any reason" it might be thought of otherwise, some would say that they have hopes of *their* children "making the world a better place" (e.g., finding a cure for cancer/AIDS, making the next life-changing discovery, etc...), but (personally) I don't think that this qualifies for martyrdom of any kind -- just ask any of these same people why they don't adopt... are adopted children somehow less worthy of such noble aspirations? (And come on -- isn't that a pretty big crap shoot, either way???)

Scott Hardie | February 22, 2007
Wikipedia says it well: (link)

Joe Ball | February 25, 2007
What about the people who want children but refuse to adopt (when they are having problems having children) and ONLY want "their own" children? I think THAT is selfish on many levels....

Jackie Mason | February 26, 2007
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Anna Gregoline | February 26, 2007
I wish the wiki had mentioned the "bingo" which means a response to "I don't want kids" that intends to "change your mind."

Such as:

"You'll change your mind."
"Every woman wants kids!/You're not a real woman unless you want kids."
"God wants you to."
"You're abnormal if you don't want kids."

Etc., etc., ad nauseum. It's amazing how freaked out people get when you say you don't want kids. I have no idea why - some people think you have to follow a "life script," I imagine. You grow up, get married and have kids. End of story.

Anna Gregoline | February 26, 2007
Coincidentily....

Dame Helen Mirren (would like to thank the Academy...) is also unrepentantly childfree. From an interview with 60 Minutes:

Asked if Mirren regrets never having had children, she says, "No. Absolutely not. Absolutely not. I am so happy that I didn’t have children. Well, you know because I’ve had freedom."

Jackie Mason | February 27, 2007
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Anna Gregoline | February 27, 2007
I've got too much to do, I don't have time to have kids! Luckily, lots of other people have them so it's not like there will ever be a lack of children in our lives.