Scott Hardie | October 17, 2004
A three-part poll:

How did you get your name?

If you have children, how did you choose their names? If not yet, how do you think you'll name your kids someday?

Do you feel obligated to fulfill child-naming traditions within your family or your partner's family?

David Mitzman | October 17, 2004
1) Was going to be named David Andrew, but then my initials would've been DAM and my parents weren't keen on that.

2) I might name my kids after a deceased relative but most likely I'll go with a name I like.

3) No

Anthony Lewis | October 17, 2004
I have no idea how I got my name, but I have my kids names planned out (when I have them).

My first son will likely be named Sterling. My first daughter will be named Shayne. If my wife doesn't like it...too bad. I refuse to handicap my children's future by giving them some outrageous name.

Jackie Mason | October 17, 2004
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Kris Weberg | October 17, 2004
1) Parents stalled between an Indian name ("Huri" -- pronounced like "hurry") and an Anerican name ("Sam" -- pronounced like "Sam"), and compromised on "Kris," between "Krishna" and "Christopher." The idea was that I could 'pick" at 18. Ilike what I got.

2) I do not plan to have children.

3) See above.

Scott Horowitz | October 18, 2004
1) First name is from my father's aunt, middle name from his grandmother

2) it is jewish customer to name children after deceased relatives, and I will continue that custom.

3) See number 2.

Lori Lancaster | October 18, 2004
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Lori Lancaster | October 18, 2004
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Anna Gregoline | October 18, 2004
My great-grandmothers on both sides of the family were named Anna. My mom wanted to name me Nina, but the rest of the family insisted on Anna.

With everyone naming their children "unique" names, I think I will stick with classic names that aren't necessarily common. This will help them stand out. I certainly want people to be able to pronounce and spell their names too. Girls names are easy - boys names are harder. I haven't thought too much about it - and my boyfriend's last name is Thomas, so name combinations aren't too tricky to navigate.

Do you feel obligated to fulfill child-naming traditions within your family or your partner's family?

Not much. Jesse's middle name is Paul, as is his dad's, after somebody, but if that's the tradition, I'd almost rather name our kid's middle name as Jesse.

Jackie Mason | October 18, 2004
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Anna Gregoline | October 18, 2004
First name, Jackie? I've always been curious about naming kids "juniors."

Jackie Mason | October 18, 2004
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Kris Weberg | October 19, 2004
I'm surprised that George Foreman hasn't been mentioned yet.

Amy Austin | October 19, 2004
First... Scott Horowitz: You have an aunt named "Scott"?

(Or is that a derivative?) One of my best friends is also named after an aunt with a man's name -- "Nigel" -- but *she* goes by her middle name, "Denise"... I just have a hard time imagining "Aunt Scottie"!

Lori: Congrats on expecting again -- I read it in the photos post first, and I believed you when you say that you always look good... you are a "pretty little kid" today!

(So hopefully, now, you won't hate me when I tell you my first thought on your daughter's name... and I wasn't realizing that you already had a daughter and named her when I was thinking it, so please don't be mad at me, but... I can't help but think of a feminine commercial!) I like "Serena" better, and my maternal grandmother (never knew her -- committed suicide before I was born) went by her middle name of "Eve" (first name "Artis", which I found interesting!)

"Everett" is my mother's son's middle name (a much younger half-brother), and I used to live in Everett, WA -- a beautiful place. I like it. And I've always loved the name "Maximilian" -- even better because it's so Roman warrior/sci-fi sounding... a strong name.

And I like that you play with the bi-racial blend -- that's cool, too. Forgive my ignorance here (you learn something new every day, right?), but what are "abuelito/abuelita"s? I suppose I could have looked it up, instead of asking, but maybe I'm not the only one who doesn't know... I am interested.

Scott Horowitz | October 19, 2004
My aun't's name was Sadie, they made it masculine to Scott.

Amy Austin | October 19, 2004
I was the first-born, and my folks argued over my name -- a trend that didn't end there, but in divorce when I was 11. Supposedly, my father wanted to name me "Elizabeth", but my mother insisted that it was a girl he was too fond of and didn't want it -- so it was my middle name. I guess "Amy" was a compromise that neither of them was especially fond of... how romantic, right?

Cut to, the naming of my younger sister (and my only sibling of the same two parents): Kerry Ann -- born on my folks' wedding anniversary and so named for "Kathy" & "Jerry"... isn't that sweet? (BARF)

I have name issues of all sorts -- I think jrs are a stupid thing (although my dad's son is one, but goes by "Jay"), and I wouldn't do it, just because I'm a big proponent of individuality (life in the military was not always easy for someone like me!) -- and George Foreman is the worst!!!

Legally, I have not changed my name since marriage, which was a big stink for quite some time. I hate being called "Mrs." because of its origin -- I prefer "Ms." always, "Miss" if you're under 18 only. I hate that my husband took such offense about the name change, but it was both a matter of principle and of practicality for me: in the military, you are known by your last name -- and that becomes your identity to an extent that civilians just don't know. To me, changing my name would be like answering when I heard my husband's name, not mine -- I hear it, and I instictively look for him... So why is it that only women are expected to make that adjustment? Well, I know why, and I don't think that's right -- even if it is just a holdover of patriarchy.

And I am not alone -- another of my best friends felt the same way. She married only 3 months before I did, and after the same big name stink, chose to hyphenate. I don't like this, either... it seems fussy when non-Hispanic types do it (sorry if I offend, certainly not trying) -- although I like how Hispanics have both of their parents' names. (I just don't understand how it's perpetuated!) Now, she -- like my other friend -- is divorced and reverting back to her name. What if old "Bob" had to do the same thing? Wonder how he would feel about it...

Anyway, forgive me if I sound impassioned -- I have strong opinions about a lot of things that seem like nothing. But just to clarify -- what you see here is, in fact, my preferred use of my married name... without hyphen, but without obligation. My legal name is still the same as when I was born, though. There is more to my husband's side of the story, but for brevity's sake... maybe later.

Amy Austin | October 19, 2004
Ah -- good to know... I didn't realize that "Sadie" was the feminization of "Scott" -- it's a pretty name. I hope that you felt my facetiousness in asking, Scott!

Anna Gregoline | October 19, 2004
abuelito/abuelita = grandpa/grandma

Anna Gregoline | October 19, 2004
And I agree with you - when I get married, I'm not changing my name. I'm not going to get crazy about it if I go by my husband's name socially, but besides all the hassle of getting it changed, I don't like the idea that I lose my identity just by getting married!

Amy Austin | October 19, 2004
Thanks, Anna!

Lori Lancaster | October 19, 2004
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Amy Austin | October 20, 2004
Thanks, Lori -- I'm glad you weren't mad... ^_^ (heehee -- or being conceited -- I just thought it was funny in light of your other comment!)

I thought of "Serendipity" as well -- but how can a child with that name resist getting stuck with the nickname "Dip"?!

Oh, and I remembered something else about my grandmother's middle name -- it was actually "Evangeline"... don't know why it didn't occur to me earlier (well, it's not like we were familiar). But she did go by "Eve".

I gathered your interest in sci-fi/fantasy -- all the nicer that Max came from your abuelito... ^_^ I would want to call him that.

Oddly enough, I had another ex- with your last name, too (Lancaster) -- did you know that in Pennsylvania they pronounce it like "Lankster" vs. "Lancaster" (I'm assuming that you say it that way)? I guess that's some sort of GB holdover. Funny, too -- his father was Mexican, and I didn't think that was such a Mexican-sounding name. Just goes to show... you can't always judge by the cover!

Speaking of that, I thought your German incident was hilarious -- well handled! Always try to disarm with wit -- love it!

Scott Hardie | October 20, 2004
The "junior" tradition is a nuisance. No disrespect to the fathers of juniors, but doesn't it seem so egotistical?

I'm with Anna, I want to give my kids "real" names that are not common. Adele is a favorite; so is Tyler. I'd name them after famous people I respect highly if there were any that seemed appropriate. Naming them after friends just seems complicated; I wouldn't like trying to keep my daughter Anna separate from my friend Anna, for instance. And that comes back to the "junior" issue.

I started this discussion with interest in the third question in particular: What do you think of naming traditions in your family? Would you maintain them? Family is important, but it seems to me that the name your child will have for their entire life is more important than a tradition with fewer occurrences than you could count on the fingers of one hand. To follow my family's tradition, I'd have to name my son James after my father (I'm named for my grandfather), but when I have a son I'll want him to have a separate, unique identity. I also wouldn't want to have a grandson named Scott. Who wants to be in a family where the sons only have one of two names?

Anna Gregoline | October 20, 2004
I LOVE Adele. Cool.

Lori Lancaster | October 20, 2004
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Anna Gregoline | October 20, 2004
Jesse wants to name any son we have Spaulding. I'm appalled.

Kris Weberg | October 20, 2004
Maybe if the middle name was "Gray."

Anna Gregoline | October 20, 2004
He'd actually like that, Kris. He loves Spaulding Gray, so maybe that's where that came from.

I like the name "Owen," myself.

Lori Lancaster | October 20, 2004
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Anna Gregoline | October 20, 2004
Who is Owen in that?

Lori Lancaster | October 20, 2004
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Anna Gregoline | October 20, 2004
Oh yeah, I guess so. Wow, that's a small reference.

I guess I won't name him Owen then.

Lori Lancaster | October 20, 2004
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Anna Gregoline | October 20, 2004
I don't want to risk it!

Omar is pretty cool too. Maybe I'm on an "O" name kick today.

Dave Stoppenhagen | October 20, 2004
Serena is identical to her mother, it's a very scary situation when your in the same room with both of them.

Lori Lancaster | October 20, 2004
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Dave Stoppenhagen | October 20, 2004
Well not anymore....

My mom constantly calls Aidan (my nephew) Dave. Says he constantly reminds her of me when I was that age. Of course I couldn't be prouder and teach him the ways of the Doober.

It's not Ray I'm worried about, it's that nice little boy you have. he's in for many years of torture.

Lori Lancaster | October 20, 2004
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Scott Hardie | October 21, 2004
I noticed Lori avoided the mention of "Dip" as Serena's nickname, something she hated hearing... Perhaps "Mini-Me" would be more appropriate? ;-)

Kris Weberg | October 21, 2004
Hhe. One of my non-TC online pseudonyms is "Omar Karindu."

Lori Lancaster | October 21, 2004
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Anna Gregoline | October 21, 2004
Nah. I told Jesse about "Omar" last night and he was all about it. I think it's in our baby name repository for when the time comes. =)

Kris Weberg | October 21, 2004
Heh. You could give the alma mater a shout-out, and make Omar's middle name "Bradley."

Anna Gregoline | October 21, 2004
Strangely enough, I had a joke going in high school that I'd name my kid with the middle name of "Boston." And I've always wanted in some distant way to live in the Boston area. And then the love of my life turns out to be from there. Strange.

Kris Weberg | October 21, 2004
Actually, I'd prefer it if people just went by a surname and some kind of numerical prefix, maybe their birthday.

Much easier, with the added benefit that you never lose track of birthdays. Married people would have the option of changing to the date of their anniversary.

Lori Lancaster | October 21, 2004
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Amy Austin | October 21, 2004
Ha,ha -- maybe you should have just named her "Mini-Me", Lori! ;D

Scott Hardie | October 22, 2004
If you don't mind me asking, Lori, how are Serena and Everett taking the impending arrival of another baby? Excitement?

Lori Lancaster | October 22, 2004
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Megan Baxter | October 22, 2004
My husband's family has a long naming tradition for first-born boys, with additional bizarre alternate generation middle names. My husband's a "the 6th." Theoretically, if I have a son when we have children, he's supposed to be a "the 7th."

I have misgivings about this. But what bothers me the most is that I've been more or less told that I don't get to tamper with the middle name either, not even add a second middle name.

Since I'm not even going to have the same last name as my children, the idea that I don't have any say if I eventually have a boy upsets me.

Anna Gregoline | October 22, 2004
Traditions were made to be broken, I say.

Lori Lancaster | October 22, 2004
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John E Gunter | October 22, 2004
I'm all for keeping family traditions, as you should be able to guess by my interest in family antiques and heirlooms, but the parents should be the only ones responsible for naming the child and really need to come to an understanding about how THEY will do it. After all, the husband and wife are the couple, and the rest of the family are extended. So since it's a partnership between the two of you, you should have the last say as to how your children are named.

It's fine to listen to what your parents say, and I really respect the input I have from my mother and my father while he was still alive, but you're now supposed to be an adult and they should have the confidence in you to make your own decisions. If you were single, I'd say that you make the decision on your own, but when married, you have a partner and the two of you should make the decision. If you both can't come to a decision together, why have the partnership of marriage?

John

Scott Hardie | October 22, 2004
I noticed, Megan, that you didn't say whether it was your husand or his family that told you that you had no choice. Either way, there are enough names in the world that you and your husband should be able to find one that you both like, even if you have to break a tradition to do it.


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