Chatt Story
by Scott Hardie on May 16, 2023
Kelly and I are home from a brief road trip to Chattanooga.
The primary reason for going was the wedding of an old friend of Kelly. The ceremony was beautiful, held on the banks of Fall Creek Falls Lake, with some of the best-written vows I've ever heard, at once personal and profound. Then we got to kick back with other old friends at the reception, laughing for hours and catching up. That was a wonderful night. My only regret is being both over and under dressed: The bride and groom met through a medieval LARP, so the wedding had a medieval theme, and I expected to be one of the few non-LARPers wearing a traditional suit, but it turned out that I was the only person not wearing medieval garb. Still, it was fun to stop at a gas station at midnight on the way home and watch people try to guess what I in my suit and Kelly in her medieval dress were doing at that hour.
The day before that, we did as Tennessee's barns have commanded for generations and saw Rock City, a mountaintop attraction famous for its hiking trails and expansive view from the top. If you visit a major theme park while overweight, employees will sometimes discreetly let you know about a private area off to the side of each attraction's entrance where you can try fitting into a demo ride vehicle, and I wish that Rock City had a similar way to test some of its tight squeezes before we got partway up the trail and discovered that there was no way for me to fit through the narrow passages through the limestone. Once we transitioned to the accessible trail segments, it was a much more pleasant experience, and we were in such good moods by the end that we couldn't resist bringing home a garden gnome, the attraction's signature souvenir.
We also visited the Chattanooga Zoo, which was as calming and pleasant as every zoo I've ever visited, except perhaps for the odor inside the reptile building. I don't know when zoos became merely the stuff of school field trips and parental desperation to take the kids somewhere, because as a childless adult, I've always found them to be soothing and rejuvenating experiences. There's something about the peace of wild things that makes me forget my problems and relax, in spite of the caging of animals that I find more ethically problematic with each passing year. Chattanooga's zoo is wonderful, but you don't have to be there to get the same experience; go check out your local city zoo the next time that you need to check out.
One Reply to Chatt Story
Logical Operator
The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »
Dr. Jerk
I wish doctors would treat me like a person, instead of a fat person. No matter what complaint sends me to the doctor in the first place, within minutes, every visit turns into a conversation about how I need to lose weight, and what will happen if I don't. Like I haven't tried a thousand times to lose weight. Go »Varicosity
A couple of people have asked about a foot injury that I mentioned. It sounded scary but it's actually pretty minor. A varicose vein on the surface of my left foot ruptured on its own. Go »And If You're Not Careful, You Might Learn Something
Ten things I learned from watching the entire run of The Cosby Show over the last few months on Netflix streaming: - Cliff wasn't the only one who wore wild sweaters. - Seinfeld was celebrated as the "show about nothing," but this show had even less plot. Entire episodes just riffed for twenty minutes on Vanessa fretting over a test or Theo having a crush on a girl, nothing more. Go »New Dog Upstairs
Third in a series? I don't think I need to spell this one out. Needless to say, the dog seems to live in a cage directly over my kitchen, and its only hobby is barking nonstop, 24 hours a day. Go »Tooth in Advertising
Every time I go to the local Carmike cinema and watch their pre-show reminders montage, I wind up thinking about dentists. First they show King Kong howling with those yellowish fangs – he needs a veterinary dentist. Then it's the pirates of the Caribbean; they have gold teeth so they need dentists too. Go »
Matthew Preston | May 17, 2023
Sounds like you had an awesome time in my hometown! If I wasn't 2,000+ miles away on a business trip, I would have loved to enjoy these things with you guys.
If you ever make it back, I highly recommend Raccoon Mountain reservoir. It's a hydro pump for the local power utility and the surrounding areas are open to the public. There's a one lane road you can drive around with multiple stops for amazing views of the city. It's one of those trips you can mostly enjoy from your car, but still enjoy nature.