It's been two months since I first mentioned my new love Denise on the site. She's overdue for a proper introduction, since I plan to continue mentioning her on a first-name basis around here. (I don't know why some men continue to tell me about their woman by calling her "my wife" or "my girlfriend" even though I've known her and socialized with her for years.)

We met through friends: Co-worker Miah would bring over his fiancée Inès to gatherings, and she rightly thought that her boss Denise Krecicki would fit in well with us and with me in particular. My attempted reunion with Kelly gave pause to their match-making, but we started hanging out together in the summer and liked each other from the start. As a group, semi-regular card games gave way to a regular X Files double-feature every Monday night. Denise and I first started talking privately because of this site, after I blogged about considering feng shui, aromatherapy, hypnosis, and other "alternative" practices to be scams. (link) Denise is a certified masseuse, a big proponent of chiropractic & acupuncture, and she's at least willing to give most of the others the benefit of the doubt. She emailed me to challenge my assertions, which turned into a vigorous and mutually-respectful debate over email for more than two weeks. (I considered pasting it here because we each made some great points, but it became too tangled with quotes inside quotes.) At the end of this fun debate, I asked her to dinner and she accepted, and we've seen each other almost every day since. Our favorite way to spend time alone together, beside trying each other's favorite restaurants in town, is to be curled up all day Sunday on the couch playing Xbox in our pajamas and nibbling on sweets.

I think what would first strike most people about Denise is that she's always "on": Full of energy and good cheer, happy to talk about anything, always moving around and getting things done. She listens to me even about topics like FIN and Sopranos that don't interest her, and she doesn't put down my choices. Generous with her time and energy, she can go to great lengths to support people, such as picking up and moving to Arizona for a year to help a friend in need. She's chatty and does most of the conversing between us, which suits me fine, and she's classy and modest with a sharp sense of humor. Except for occasional dust-ups over how I comb my hair (she hates it) or what she believes about alternative medicine (she considers me naive), we get along famously, which is exactly what Miah and Ines predicted. I'm happy around her and lonely without her.

To put her in more biographical terms: She was adopted but grew up in a Polish household in Connecticut, now with only one brother surviving. She's older than me (not a little bit) and that's just fine. Her degree is in physical therapy but she got permanently burned out on that job, and has worked retail for a few years since then while trying to figure out if there's something else out there for her. At the end of January, she'll leave Lane Bryant and the retail world to pursue a different career. She currently rents a room from friends closeby, but we're talking about moving in together in April when my leave ends. Her favorite hobby is cooking, including the Food Network and recipe magazines. She's a Democrat and lives clean except for occasional social drinking. She has religious beliefs, primarily predestiny (a lot of things are "meant to be"), but they don't dominate her decision-making or morality. She makes one hell of a fried bananas, nutella, and cinnamon sandwich.

When she's ready to join this site, I'm sure she'll fit in well. Until then, I could call her my girlfriend or my lover or my favorite companion, but I prefer to call her Denise.

Photos from Christmas with Inès and Miah (guess who cooked):












Five Replies to Not to Be Confused with Denise Sawicki

Jackie Mason | January 3, 2007
[hidden by author request]

Aaron Shurtleff | January 5, 2007
That's awesome, man! Kick ass! And anyone who can work magic with the nutella is definately a keeper in my book. (Not that you necessarily want to take heed of my advice book!)

Of course, it is also one of many reasons I haven't gotten to hang out with you in months...but at least I know it's for a good reason, and not just work! :P

One question: If Denise is not yet on the site, how did she happen to read your posting about "alternative medicines"? Was she randomly surfing for "haters" to debate with? :) If you want to say, of course. You can tell me to mind my own business, too. :D

Anna Gregoline | January 8, 2007
Fantastic news! I'm pleased you found such a great lady, she sounds absolutely fabulous!

Matthew Preston | January 26, 2007
Scott, I just realized... are those presents stacked on the "Gondek" table?

Scott Hardie | February 1, 2007
Thanks all.

Aaron: She was lurking because we were friends. She has said she might create an account here in the near future when she has more free time (different career).

Matt: Yes they are.


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

R.I.P. Russ

Twelve years after losing her mother, Kelly has now lost her father too. This loss was a quieter and tidier affair, partially due to Russ not wanting a funeral or wake, and partially due to his very strained relationship with Kelly in recent years. We waited a few days to work out the trip schedule, flew up there, had a nice little graveside gathering with immediate family and then lunch out, spent time seeing the old hometown and Russ's new adopted small town (oh how I don't miss driving for hours through corn fields to get literally anywhere in Illinois), and returned with lots of tasks for Kelly to do to resolve the estate. Go »

Powerless

Going without electricity in Florida can be a miserable affair. You sweat non-stop. You sleep fitfully at best, waking up in pools of your own body fluid. Go »

Pug Life

A friend recently contacted Kelly and me out of the blue to ask if we could take care of her dog for six days while she was on vacation, since the arranged sitter was suddenly unavailable. Neither Kelly nor I have experience taking care of dogs, and we're definitely not dog people. I was attacked by a dog when I was little and I've never been comfortable around them, especially any dog large enough to leap up from the ground and reach my face with its teeth. Go »

Great Weekend

Some people love going fishing all weekend; others prefer a romantic getaway. The perfect weekend for me these days means getting enough sleep and writing a FIN post from start to finish, since getting even one of those is a rarity. But this weekend, I put everything else aside and did both. Go »

In Love, in Tampa

Last night we took in a special show by Amanda Palmer and Neil Gaiman for Valentines Day. Kelly is a huge fan of both and I was happy to take her to see them. I did not start the evening as a Palmer fan, but I was one by the time it ended. Go »

Wests Take Southwest to Southeast

As Steve West mentioned, he and Brenda recently visited Sarasota for a week of fun. In advance, we rented an AirBNB (cat allergies prevented staying at my place) and kicked around some ideas for what to do, but we were concerned about unpredictable fatigue and other medical complications and knew that we had to take it one day at a time. The trip had a bumpy start, with Kelly taken by ambulance to the ER the night before (she recovered quickly) and a difficult Southwest flight and Uber pickup for the Wests, but that all quickly felt like it was behind us as soon as the fun began. Go »