Double Talk with a Forked Tongue
by Steve West on January 17, 2022
I've decided that from now on, I'm going to answer every question like a presidential candidate.
Friend (voter): "Steve, what are you gonna do this weekend?"
Me (blahblahblah): "That's a great question and an important one. And I WILL do something this weekend. But let me take a step back and answer a broader question. What are we ALL doing this weekend? As a nation? As a world? This weekend I will do something comprehensive and robust, yet fun. We all should."
Friend (frustrated voter): "But, what are you gonna do?"
Me (blahblahblahblahblah): "What I'm going to do involves three things: First, it's going to be relaxing; Second, it's going to be enjoyable; Lastly, I'm going to make sure that it's cost-effective so I don't get into a deficit. Four weeks ago, I said I was going to do something - and I did. This weekend will be no different!"
On second thought, talking like this made me want to punch myself in the face. So, never mind.
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
I'd Pick The Kitty
This is supposedly a real newspaper clipping although I can find no reference to which paper it is and is therefore suspicious. I choose to believe it is real so I can enjoy the joke more. Go »Auntie Em! It's a Twister, It's a Twister!
What the wind blew in this week. According to this chart, Rambo V will have someone die in the first minute of the film and five deaths per minute following. It's official, Robin Williams has turned into a troll. Go »The Naked Samaritan
Recent conversation with Brenda: Brenda: Did I ever tell you I posed nude for an art class? Me: Really?! (after recovering from shock) I had a college friend who posed for some extra money. Go »Darth Vader Is Alive And Well And Living In My Toaster
So we got this gift from a mother-in law who shall remain nameless; a "super-mega-nuclear look at me long enough and your face will melt like that guy in Raiders toaster. There was nothing wrong with our existing toaster but when she saw it on QVC, my nameless mother-in-law had one of those have to have it moments. I've nicknamed the toaster Darth Vader because regardless of the setting, it turns the bread to the dark side every time. Go »Best Of Photojournalism
Perspective is everything. I look at some photographs that have been awarded a Pulitzer and understand immediately why. Others I look at and mentally shrug my shoulders. Go »
