"Heel, Heinrich!", commands the Governator.
"Kiss my grossly over-developed ass," snarls Heinrich in return.
Anyone ever heard of myostatin before? Not me. Good thing I have some - I can't afford tailored clothing.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Punched In The Nose With A Stinky Fist

The complete culinary compilation of Steve, Don't Eat It! at Sneeze.com. My reading was interrupted by a need for defibrillation - laughed so hard my heart stopped. Go »

My Man-Crush On The Mickster Is Almost Over

How much nonsense can a guy overlook? Apparently, Mickey Rourke has found Jesus. Now, if he could only remember the church he was at so he could return him. Go »

How Old Is Too Old For Santa Claus?

My daughter Lauren wrote a letter to Santa in which she asked him for nothing - just a letter to say what a cool guy she thinks he is. It has a few misspellings and a grammar error or two and it's not written with the greatest penmanship. And it's completely adorable. Go »

Taking Bets for 2021

Volcano? Locusts? Asteroid? Go »

The Bus Stops Here

In Slapshot, Paul Newman encourages the minor league hockey team he captains to play like goons. The team begins to have some success and the driver of the team bus joins in the spirit of gooniness. Paul Newman approaches him while he is proceeding to smack the exterior of the bus with a sledge hammer and inquires as to what he is doing. Go »

Lucky Number 5

Brenda looked over my shoulder once to see what I was reading that made me chuckle. I told her it was an off-color joke involving the number 68. As it happened, she noticed that this joke appeared on page 68 of the book I was reading. Go »