"Heel, Heinrich!", commands the Governator.
"Kiss my grossly over-developed ass," snarls Heinrich in return.
Anyone ever heard of myostatin before? Not me. Good thing I have some - I can't afford tailored clothing.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Modern Decision Making

Yesterday, I e-mailed a psychiatrist and a tattoo artist. Whoever gets back to me first, wins. And that's how we do self-care in the Year of Our Lord 2025. Go »

The Magic Kingdom Is, Well...Magic

We just flew in from Orlando from a week's stay in Kissimmee, Florida. We had an incredible vacation that included the Magic Kingdom, Aquatica waterpark, a resort stay at Oak Plantation, Hollywood Studios, and Universal Citywalk including the Hard Rock Cafe, Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. and the Blue Man Group show. Go »

Technically We're Both Right

Recent encounter at my local deli: Me: (signaling my server) Excuse me, this is an egg salad sandwich. Server: Yes, bon appétit. Me: But I ordered a chicken salad sandwich. Go »

Homer Sings

Do-Re-Mi as sung by Homer Simpson DOh - The stuff that buys me beer. RAY - The guy that sells me beer. ME - The guy who drinks the beer. Go »

Goo Con III

What a fantastic time! Matt is truly one of the most gregarious, fun-loving and genuine people I know. Denise and Kelly were completely charming (of course!). Go »

And Then the Fight Started...

When Brenda and I attended my High School reunion, she noticed me staring at a woman seated a few tables away, drinking glass after glass of some alcoholic drink. She asked if I knew her. I told her, "That was my girlfriend from back in the day. Go »