"Heel, Heinrich!", commands the Governator.
"Kiss my grossly over-developed ass," snarls Heinrich in return.
Anyone ever heard of myostatin before? Not me. Good thing I have some - I can't afford tailored clothing.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Love is a Hurtin' Thing

Recent conversation with Brenda: Me: I need a reservation for Valentine's Day. Brenda: I'll see if I can find a restaurant that takes reservations for one. Me: No, I need a reservation for two. Go »

The Green Thing

While checking out at the grocery, I overheard the young cashier suggest to an older woman in front of me, that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren’t good for the environment. The woman apologized and explained, “We didn’t have this green thing back in my early days.” The clerk responded, “That’s our problem today. Go »

Not Halloween But Pretty Scary

Imagine a band composed entirely of ukeleles and a guitar or two. Scared yet? Now imagine that band performing rock songs. Go »

Just My Lucky Day, I Guess

Weekly shopping trips have been largely uneventful of late because of the absence of you know who, UOAS. She kind of startled me with her presence at the Safeway tonight and I wondered if God specifically was observing my sense of satisfaction over her MIA status. She noted my surprised expression and commented, "Long time no see!" Go »

Ho, Ho, Ho

I was in my car stopped at a light after going to Giant when two jokers pulled beside me and made motions for me to roll down my window. They drunkenly started shouting, "Hi, Santa! What are ya gonna bring me for Christmas this year?" Go »

Cool Kleenex Dispensers

My daughter brings crafts home from school. I'm sending her teacher a picture of this Easter Island-ish tissue dispenser for their next craft project. Hey, they can learn about Easter Island and the Moai statues. Go »