Kelly and I had a good time last night taking out two old friends for their birthdays to see Garfunkel and Oates in Tampa. I'm only familiar with the duo's songs, so it was refreshing that only maybe a third of the show consisted of music. The rest was stand up comedy, storytelling, audience interaction, and a weird extended commercial for their sponsor Monster Energy Drink, tall boys of which were being handed out for free, because that's just what my heart needs at ten o'clock at night.

They didn't play my favorite "Sex with Ducks," but they did play most of their popular songs including "Pregnant Women are Smug" and "Go Kart Racing," and debuted some incomplete songs in progress. The wit of their lyrics is one of their biggest strengths, but unfortunately, it was lost somewhat in the harmonizing that made it difficult to understand maybe a third of the words. I wish they'd take turns singing verses instead of harmonizing, or just play some songs from Kate Micucci's solo album. But what I did understand, I really enjoyed; I haven't laughed this much at a comedy show in a while now. The opening act, coincidentally a friend of our friends, was pretty funny too.

As a man (and a large one), I can only imagine what it's like for women traveling in unfamiliar cities at night, especially Internet-famous ones who are, let's face it, judged for their looks. During the show, some guy in the audience kept calling out things like "marry me, RIki" and "I drove all the way from Miami to see you," which the women were able to play off for humor at first, but got pretty creepy after four or five times. In the theater lobby afterward, we noticed a guy with a custom-printed "I ♥ Garfunkel and Oates" shirt practically bounding out of his wheelchair with excitement for a chance to meet the stars that might or might not happen. Much later, after nearly everyone else was gone, we were having drinks at a nearby sidewalk café when we saw Garfunkel and Oates leave and walk briskly away from the building, surrounded by what looked like theater staff as a protective bubble. Thanks for being so hospitable to them, Florida.

Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

In Bed

"You are very generous, and always think of the other fellow." Go »

Rolling Revisionism

In all of the coverage of the execution of Danny Rolling, I keep reading that he was "Florida's most notorious serial killer since Ted Bundy." (link) Umm... Doesn't anybody remember Aileen Wuornos? Go »

Long Live Scott's Other New Car

I never thought I'd write these words, but I'm the delighted new owner of a Hummer H2. It's all black, brand new in perfect condition. I've already got it tricked out with glowing ground-effects lights on the undercarriage and special extra-thick tires for off-roading. Go »


Last night I saw Killswitch Engage, Slayer, and Marilyn Manson. This morning I discovered that Walgreens sells a pretty good neck brace for $11.99. Aaron Shurtleff bought my Mayhem Festival ticket in May as a gift, and I'm grateful to have another generous friend. Go »

Going Green

This thing might turn out to be as short-lived as my other two attempts at a personal blog, but damn it if I haven't craved having such an outlet for the better part of a year now. It seems like a week doesn't go by that I don't have some little adventure to turn into an anecdote or a frustration to rant about. My idle thoughts are as pointless as anybody else's, I realize, but that's what the Internet is for (besides porn). Go »


Saving up is hard to do. I'm spending every dollar I have after the holidays to move Kelly here next week, then we have to move again in two months to a larger place. And I have more than a grand to pay in taxes. Go »