Goodbye, Kai
by Scott Hardie on October 24, 2014

I've been trying to save up for a new computer for the last few years, but bigger purchases like a wedding and medical emergencies kept consuming the funds. This past weekend, I finally broke down and bought a cheap but still quite powerful Windows 7 machine on Newegg, because I could no longer stand my old Windows XP machine.
How old was it? I bought it back when Windows XP was brand new! It was 2002, and I was a recent college graduate just starting his new life in Florida. What was top-of-the-line then became excruciatingly slow today: Trying to open more than two tabs in Chrome caused it to hang for several minutes. Opening Photoshop 7 took five minutes. Opening The Sims 2 took twenty minutes. Any video playing on a web page tended to freeze the entire browser (I was not a happy camper when The Onion and A.V. Club started auto-playing videos on the right sidebar of every article). Using this computer was painful, and I was a patient man for a long time, but enough was enough.
I'm still working on setting up the new machine and transferring files (slowly) from the old one. This has taken up most of my time this week, and it has affected the site: The goo game has seen a run of mostly hard goos this week because the queue is running low and I'm still setting up the software to make new easy goos. I haven't been able to fix a known glitch in Rock Block's start-a-concert form because I'm still copying over Funeratic's files from the old machine. It's weird having my hands tied behind my back like this as a site admin. I hope to finish the process this weekend, in time to add ten more items to The History of Funeratic for the site's anniversary.
There is one permanent change to the site as a result of me changing computers: Celebrity goos will no longer be made with Kai's Power Goo. That ancient software was written for Windows 95! I managed to find a fan-made port for Windows XP when I bought the last computer in 2002, and it has served us well ever since, but I have no hope of running that program on this new 64-bit machine today. There are numerous similar programs online, as Chris and Justin and Lori and Samir know from creating their own goos recently, and I'm sure that we'll barely notice a difference. They'll still be called goos, even if the name isn't technically correct any more.
Thanks for your patience with some tough goos this week while I set up my new machine. Here's hoping that I finally get the computer that I really want before this cheap replacement becomes twelve years old.
One Reply to Goodbye, Kai
Logical Operator
The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Breaking Monopoly
My latest pastime has been seeing if I can rig a video game of Monopoly to give me infinite money. It turns out that I can, but it's incredibly tedious, far more so than I thought. I like to play with the NES version, because it's just colorful and fun enough without being too sophisticated in its AI. Go »
Mac Killed My Inner Child
(link) nsfw Go »
Cheesed
If life is about simple pleasures, does the return of Taco Bell's chili cheese burrito qualify? I don't know if it's nationwide, but they've returned on a wave of marketing around here. It was my favorite menu item a decade ago, until lack of counter space in the kitchen eliminated chili from a supposedly "Mexican" restaurant. Go »
Milwaukee's Best
Today I learned a valuable lesson: Don't quote that line from Wayne's World about "mill-you-wock-AY" to a native of that city. It's like asking them to bring you a cheese wheel when they visit: You deserve a kick in the balls for it. I learned this while planning my visit to the city this weekend for beer, brats, Packers, and oh yeah, Matthew Preston. Go »
Signs of Summer
The recent Florida wildfires have been a nasty reminder (I drove through one burned-down forest and it was a terrible sight), but if you need any more indication that summer is here, just step outside: It's scorching. Apparently one local still didn't think it was hot enough to take precautions, as evidenced by the recent explosion in the parking lot when we pulled into a strip mall for lunch. An entire trailer had burned into ash with only a skeletal frame and two melted tires remaining. Go »
Scott Hardie | October 25, 2014
I see that Joanna has a goo request in the system too. I need to catch up on pending requests. I need to catch up on a lot of things asap. :-)