Ho, Ho, Ho
by Steve West on December 13, 2013
I was in my car stopped at a light after going to Giant when two jokers pulled beside me and made motions for me to roll down my window. They drunkenly started shouting, "Hi, Santa! What are ya gonna bring me for Christmas this year?"
I should have ignored them but instead replied, "Keep fucking with me and I'm going to have Rudolph shit in your stocking."
That only encouraged them to continue with slurred speech. "But I've been really good this year!"
"Look boys, I'm going to get you new tires for that really short bus you ride to school, I'm going to pay for that long overdue visit to the dentist, and I'm going to get you a gift certificate to the emergency room for after I kick both your asses."
Fortunately for them and me the light turned green and we went separate ways. Not the most festive thing I could have said but they really weren't as funny as they thought they were and, drunkenness aside, those Duck Dynasty rejects found a quick way to stand on my last nerve. Merry Christmas!
One Reply to Ho, Ho, Ho
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
That's Entertainment
Recently, we held the Annual Empoyees Event for the credit union for which I work. Each year along with the State of the Credit Union speeches and various awards given, there is an entertainment portion. Last year was karaoke and dancing, the year before was a fashion dos and don'ts demonstration. Go »Dumb Celebrity Quotes
Anyone can say something stupid every once in a while, of course. But the celebrities featured on this website sure seem to make a habit of it. Only one quote per customer but they probably make up the usual suspects in the dumb quote hall of shame. Go »Punched In The Nose With A Stinky Fist
The complete culinary compilation of Steve, Don't Eat It! at Sneeze.com. My reading was interrupted by a need for defibrillation - laughed so hard my heart stopped. Go »Christmas Post #6: Beer Foam = Food
I showed this product to my wife and said, "If it only had a urinal, I would never leave the rec room." "But what would you eat?", she asked. Go »Brenda's Diet Diary
Dear Diet Diary, As a Christmas present this year, my daughter, Lauren (what a thoughtful darling), bought me a week of personal training at the local health club. Although I am still in reasonable shape since being a high school cheerleader 40 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to give it a try. I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Juan Antonio (ooh what a name) who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. Go »
Scott Hardie | December 24, 2013
Awesome. :-) Merry Christmas (sincerely) to you too!