Ho, Ho, Ho
by Steve West on December 13, 2013

I was in my car stopped at a light after going to Giant when two jokers pulled beside me and made motions for me to roll down my window. They drunkenly started shouting, "Hi, Santa! What are ya gonna bring me for Christmas this year?"

I should have ignored them but instead replied, "Keep fucking with me and I'm going to have Rudolph shit in your stocking."

That only encouraged them to continue with slurred speech. "But I've been really good this year!"

"Look boys, I'm going to get you new tires for that really short bus you ride to school, I'm going to pay for that long overdue visit to the dentist, and I'm going to get you a gift certificate to the emergency room for after I kick both your asses."

Fortunately for them and me the light turned green and we went separate ways. Not the most festive thing I could have said but they really weren't as funny as they thought they were and, drunkenness aside, those Duck Dynasty rejects found a quick way to stand on my last nerve. Merry Christmas!

One Reply to Ho, Ho, Ho

Scott Hardie | December 24, 2013
Awesome. :-) Merry Christmas (sincerely) to you too!

Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Steve West: Punnyman

Recent conversation with Brenda: me: I've only been addicted to one thing my entire life. Brenda: Yeah? What's that? Go »

Dumb Criminals And Other Court Type Stuff Part 3

Another small collection of weird legal matters. Yeah research, that's the ticket; Too manly for the ladies' room; Chi-tonw blues; Cat's got yer what?; and finally, I have no idea what it's like to be busted for DUI, taken for mugshots wearing a shirt displaying my love for midget sex, and then being forever haunted by that image surfacing on the internet, but I know who to ask. Go »

Commercial Parodies

I've heard the phrase, "Yeah, that's when Saturday Night Live was funny." It's always been funny to me. Here are 18 clips of their best commercial parodies including Colon Blow cereal, Taco Town, and Homocil. Go »

Post-vacation Blues

Without going into great detail, my co-workers are muddle-brained knuckleheads that make the Keystone Kops look like a Mensa meeting. Federal sanctions are not that far-fetched. Changes will be made soon. Go »

Guardians x 2

Brenda and I completed a court appearance via Zoom meeting that determined we were Olivia's official guardians. Actually the court is her guardian and we are the court's agents. We are guardians of person and property. Go »

Sometimes Romance is Spontaneous

My parents (both passed) dearly loved each other. But with jobs, children, and other business, they found little time to spend on just the two of them. One evening when I was visiting, my Dad came up behind my Mom in the kitchen where she was doing dishes. Go »