I was in my car stopped at a light after going to Giant when two jokers pulled beside me and made motions for me to roll down my window. They drunkenly started shouting, "Hi, Santa! What are ya gonna bring me for Christmas this year?"

I should have ignored them but instead replied, "Keep fucking with me and I'm going to have Rudolph shit in your stocking."

That only encouraged them to continue with slurred speech. "But I've been really good this year!"

"Look boys, I'm going to get you new tires for that really short bus you ride to school, I'm going to pay for that long overdue visit to the dentist, and I'm going to get you a gift certificate to the emergency room for after I kick both your asses."

Fortunately for them and me the light turned green and we went separate ways. Not the most festive thing I could have said but they really weren't as funny as they thought they were and, drunkenness aside, those Duck Dynasty rejects found a quick way to stand on my last nerve. Merry Christmas!


One Reply to Ho, Ho, Ho

Scott Hardie | December 24, 2013
Awesome. :-) Merry Christmas (sincerely) to you too!


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

If I Had A Hammer...

I once heard Leonard Nimoy singing this old Pete Seeger tune and it almost gave me epileptic convulsions. It has nothing to do with this link of an amazing artist who works with Hammer and Nails. It's just that whenever I see a hammer or box of nails or even a picture of Karen Carpenter - that's the song that leaps into my head. Go »

Schadenfreude

Is it wrong to laugh at goofy-looking mugshots? Probably on some level. I mean, the circumstances that led to these photographs being taken had to be well, criminal. Go »

Eleven Times Bliss

To celebrate our anniversary, Brenda and I decided to keep things simple. Kids with a trusted sitter, she and I would do the dinner and a movie thing. A romantic movie with not a thing being blown up, i.e. Go »

Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid

Because it's Iran Defense Week, their military was on parade to show their strength. Ahmadinejad claimed there were no gay men in the country. Perhaps, but a lot of them resemble Lady Gaga (Scoopy joke). Go »

Technically We're Both Right

Recent encounter at my local deli: Me: (signaling my server) Excuse me, this is an egg salad sandwich. Server: Yes, bon appétit. Me: But I ordered a chicken salad sandwich. Go »

Bad Jobs

I've had a few jobs that were pretty bad or at least aspects of them. We've probably all had crappy jobs like working in a kitchen or stuff that's just unpleasant or had difficult co-workers. The worst thing I was required to do was when I was working at the Department of Agriculture. Go »