Ho, Ho, Ho
by Steve West on December 13, 2013
I was in my car stopped at a light after going to Giant when two jokers pulled beside me and made motions for me to roll down my window. They drunkenly started shouting, "Hi, Santa! What are ya gonna bring me for Christmas this year?"
I should have ignored them but instead replied, "Keep fucking with me and I'm going to have Rudolph shit in your stocking."
That only encouraged them to continue with slurred speech. "But I've been really good this year!"
"Look boys, I'm going to get you new tires for that really short bus you ride to school, I'm going to pay for that long overdue visit to the dentist, and I'm going to get you a gift certificate to the emergency room for after I kick both your asses."
Fortunately for them and me the light turned green and we went separate ways. Not the most festive thing I could have said but they really weren't as funny as they thought they were and, drunkenness aside, those Duck Dynasty rejects found a quick way to stand on my last nerve. Merry Christmas!
One Reply to Ho, Ho, Ho
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
Mean Husband... or Funny Guy?
Since Brenda is home and doing well, I will share yet another reason I will spend ETERNITY IN HELL. At the hospital, after her surgery and recovery, she began to wake up in the room. She was covered in a blanket up to her neck, and as her eyes barely fluttered open and she saw me standing over her caressing her cheek, I said, "Baby, something went wrong and they had to remove your whole body. Go »Turn Left At Alpha Centauri
So you've been abducted by aliens. How on Earth (literally) are you going to get back home? Fortunately, you are a forward thinker; a planner; an "any room I enter I have an escape route" thinker. Go »Where's The Winch?
We took the girls sailing today. Unlike last year, Olivia did not throw a winch handle overboard because of our diligence in preventing it. The sailing is still free because of the heart of the owner who offers this once a month during the summer. Go »Landscaping
It's too late now but I should have taken and posted a picture of my quaint (translation: small) front yard. Brenda and I (translation: Brenda) decided that in order to sell our house at a more attractive price, it should look more attractive to potential buyers. Makes sense, I guess. Go »Bunch O' Stuff
Stuff that caught my eye this week. Selection of Marvel comics bloopers - check out #4 featuring Captain Barracuda. Interesting collection of literary tattoos. Go »
Scott Hardie | December 24, 2013
Awesome. :-) Merry Christmas (sincerely) to you too!