I was in my car stopped at a light after going to Giant when two jokers pulled beside me and made motions for me to roll down my window. They drunkenly started shouting, "Hi, Santa! What are ya gonna bring me for Christmas this year?"

I should have ignored them but instead replied, "Keep fucking with me and I'm going to have Rudolph shit in your stocking."

That only encouraged them to continue with slurred speech. "But I've been really good this year!"

"Look boys, I'm going to get you new tires for that really short bus you ride to school, I'm going to pay for that long overdue visit to the dentist, and I'm going to get you a gift certificate to the emergency room for after I kick both your asses."

Fortunately for them and me the light turned green and we went separate ways. Not the most festive thing I could have said but they really weren't as funny as they thought they were and, drunkenness aside, those Duck Dynasty rejects found a quick way to stand on my last nerve. Merry Christmas!


One Reply to Ho, Ho, Ho

Scott Hardie | December 24, 2013
Awesome. :-) Merry Christmas (sincerely) to you too!


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Just In Time For Voting

Although I'm partial to the Aaron v. Steve Dunn tête-à-têtes, it seems ironic that UOAS took the opportunity to push for a vote. Despicable. Go »

What's A Zug, Anyway?

John Hargrave is an internet comedian I admire greatly. I read his stuff and laugh long and loud. The "pranks" on his site are incredibly funny. Go »

What's For Dinner?

After 22 years of marriage, I've discovered that when two people love each other, nothing is impossible. Except deciding where to eat. Go »

Burning Microwave Popcorn

This guy puts all kinds of different crap in the microwave and films the results. My favorite is the eggs. Go »

Guns are Not Really a Laughing Matter

Recent conversation with Brenda. Brenda: What would be the hardest thing for you to give up for Lent? Me: Shooting guns. Go »

Halloween Post #4: Hellovader

For many people, costumes are very time consuming efforts. I tend to be more minimalist. For example, I could actually envision myself attending a Halloween costume party with Amy and she would be dressed like the Darth pussycat she is, and I would have on not much more than Fonzie socks. Go »