I was in my car stopped at a light after going to Giant when two jokers pulled beside me and made motions for me to roll down my window. They drunkenly started shouting, "Hi, Santa! What are ya gonna bring me for Christmas this year?"

I should have ignored them but instead replied, "Keep fucking with me and I'm going to have Rudolph shit in your stocking."

That only encouraged them to continue with slurred speech. "But I've been really good this year!"

"Look boys, I'm going to get you new tires for that really short bus you ride to school, I'm going to pay for that long overdue visit to the dentist, and I'm going to get you a gift certificate to the emergency room for after I kick both your asses."

Fortunately for them and me the light turned green and we went separate ways. Not the most festive thing I could have said but they really weren't as funny as they thought they were and, drunkenness aside, those Duck Dynasty rejects found a quick way to stand on my last nerve. Merry Christmas!


One Reply to Ho, Ho, Ho

Scott Hardie | December 24, 2013
Awesome. :-) Merry Christmas (sincerely) to you too!


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Driftwood

Washed up on the shores of my PC. In the spirit of Monty Python & The Holy Grail intro, "Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked have been sacked," comes this notice. Beautiful pictures of a fairly clever notion, holding the sun. Go »

Loud, Louder, Standing Next To A Jet Engine

A few nights ago, Brenda and I took the girls to Baltimore for a follow-up appointment for Olivia at Johns Hopkins Medical Center. She is treated at their Epilepsy clinic because of seizures. The appointment went well enough that we decided to take advantage of being in Baltimore by having dinner at the Hard Rock Café there. Go »

Who's In And Who's Not

Comprehensive site devoted to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Gives info that can be sorted multiple ways for easy searching. Provides information on who's in, when they got in, number of times they were on the ballot, etc. Go »

Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?

Recent conversation with Brenda: While watching “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” in bed... Me: Do you want to have sex? Brenda: No. Go »

Flotsam & Jetsam

I always wanted to use that phrase. Crazy ticketers in England. Which anniversary is it appropriate to celebrate at this restaurant? Go »

I'll Have The Misogyny Au Gratin, Please

We were having dinner with my nephew the other night and the conversation steered toward his numerous relationships. He replied with that standard chauvinistic response, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" My wife looked at him directly and retorted, "Yeah, why buy the whole pig for just a little sausage?" Go »