Ho, Ho, Ho
by Steve West on December 13, 2013
I was in my car stopped at a light after going to Giant when two jokers pulled beside me and made motions for me to roll down my window. They drunkenly started shouting, "Hi, Santa! What are ya gonna bring me for Christmas this year?"
I should have ignored them but instead replied, "Keep fucking with me and I'm going to have Rudolph shit in your stocking."
That only encouraged them to continue with slurred speech. "But I've been really good this year!"
"Look boys, I'm going to get you new tires for that really short bus you ride to school, I'm going to pay for that long overdue visit to the dentist, and I'm going to get you a gift certificate to the emergency room for after I kick both your asses."
Fortunately for them and me the light turned green and we went separate ways. Not the most festive thing I could have said but they really weren't as funny as they thought they were and, drunkenness aside, those Duck Dynasty rejects found a quick way to stand on my last nerve. Merry Christmas!
One Reply to Ho, Ho, Ho
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
Beware Of Delaware
I'm off to vacation in the Eastern Hinterland, the wondrous first state of Delaware. I have friends there we are visiting and will be staying for the weekend. The only advantage to being there are a few Atlantic beaches and of course, tax-free shopping. Go »Professor's Last Lecture
If you were a college professor and had the knowledge that you had one last lecture to give. What would you say? What wisdom would you try to impart with this final opportunity? Go »Mean Husband... or Funny Guy?
Since Brenda is home and doing well, I will share yet another reason I will spend ETERNITY IN HELL. At the hospital, after her surgery and recovery, she began to wake up in the room. She was covered in a blanket up to her neck, and as her eyes barely fluttered open and she saw me standing over her caressing her cheek, I said, "Baby, something went wrong and they had to remove your whole body. Go »Half-time
At about the halfway mark between Halloween and Christmas, I ran across this gift idea suitable for both holidays. Zombie lawn sculpture. Dave Barry included this in his annual gift guide and I found the original source for it. Go »Early Valentine Gift
Brenda woke up Saturday morning and said, "I just dreamed that you gave me a beautiful necklace for Valentine's Day. What do you think it means?" I told her, "You'll know tonight." Go »
Scott Hardie | December 24, 2013
Awesome. :-) Merry Christmas (sincerely) to you too!