Ho, Ho, Ho
by Steve West on December 13, 2013

I was in my car stopped at a light after going to Giant when two jokers pulled beside me and made motions for me to roll down my window. They drunkenly started shouting, "Hi, Santa! What are ya gonna bring me for Christmas this year?"

I should have ignored them but instead replied, "Keep fucking with me and I'm going to have Rudolph shit in your stocking."

That only encouraged them to continue with slurred speech. "But I've been really good this year!"

"Look boys, I'm going to get you new tires for that really short bus you ride to school, I'm going to pay for that long overdue visit to the dentist, and I'm going to get you a gift certificate to the emergency room for after I kick both your asses."

Fortunately for them and me the light turned green and we went separate ways. Not the most festive thing I could have said but they really weren't as funny as they thought they were and, drunkenness aside, those Duck Dynasty rejects found a quick way to stand on my last nerve. Merry Christmas!

One Reply to Ho, Ho, Ho

Scott Hardie | December 24, 2013
Awesome. :-) Merry Christmas (sincerely) to you too!

Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Steve's Supermarket Adventure

Or...How I Tried To Get Myself Banned From Safeway Shopping at my local Safeway is usually a pleasant experience. Few crowds at 10:00 at night, plenty of quality choices, reasonable pricing, etc. Go »

How Many Strange Businesses Can One Little Town Have?

Bowie is just a hole-in-the-wall kinda town but it's full of proud residents. I like it a lot. But man, we've got quite a few odd businesses. Go »

I Know His Name Was Bob (Thanks, Amy)

Prom pictures that are (to be blunt) not good. I think I come closest to number 3. Number 9 is definitely my parents. Go »

Shaken And Stirred Too For Good Measure

Semi-bizarre gallery devoted to people shaking their faces, having any loose skin flop around, and photographing the results. Go »

Speaking Of Tattoos...

"She Who Must Be Obeyed" (my wife) has graciously allowed me to alter my flesh by getting a tattoo. Much thought has gone into this. David Spade put it well after getting a Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes tattoo on his shoulder. Go »

If I Were To Make A Children's Show...

...it would be similar to this promo for The Crime Channel featuring Gali the Alligator. The lyrics are a little hard to understand so I've attempted to transcribe them here. Go »