Ho, Ho, Ho
by Steve West on December 13, 2013

I was in my car stopped at a light after going to Giant when two jokers pulled beside me and made motions for me to roll down my window. They drunkenly started shouting, "Hi, Santa! What are ya gonna bring me for Christmas this year?"
I should have ignored them but instead replied, "Keep fucking with me and I'm going to have Rudolph shit in your stocking."
That only encouraged them to continue with slurred speech. "But I've been really good this year!"
"Look boys, I'm going to get you new tires for that really short bus you ride to school, I'm going to pay for that long overdue visit to the dentist, and I'm going to get you a gift certificate to the emergency room for after I kick both your asses."
Fortunately for them and me the light turned green and we went separate ways. Not the most festive thing I could have said but they really weren't as funny as they thought they were and, drunkenness aside, those Duck Dynasty rejects found a quick way to stand on my last nerve. Merry Christmas!
One Reply to Ho, Ho, Ho
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

My Favorite Memory
Yesterday, we held the memorial service for my father-in-law. There were approximately 100 people attending and afterward about 1/3 gathered at his home for a small meal and sharing remembrances. I chose to share my memory of the time, twenty years ago, when I asked him for his blessing for my planned proposal to Brenda, his eldest daughter. Go »
And Then the Fight Started...
When Brenda and I attended my High School reunion, she noticed me staring at a woman seated a few tables away, drinking glass after glass of some alcoholic drink. She asked if I knew her. I told her, "That was my girlfriend from back in the day. Go »
Top Ten Top 10
Letterman has practically made a career out of his "Top 10" Lists. I'm shocked he doesn't have the copyright. He does, at least unofficially, as anyone who does anything similar immediately brings thoughts of him to mind. Go »
It's The Plumber!
The punchline to the old talking parrot joke recently leaped into my mind. Lauren dropped a lipstick tube down her bathroom sink because it has nothing to cover the drain hole. That thing that goes up and down to close the sink drain isn't part of this particular sink. Go »
Like Mother Teresa, Only Better
If you recognize the title of this post, then you are already familiar with Jenny Lawson, aka The Bloggess. I had the opportunity to meet her, briefly, at the Barnes & Noble book signing in Annapolis this weekend. She was larger than life and incredibly funny as she adlibbed before reading a selection from her book, Let's Pretend This Never Happened. Go »
Scott Hardie | December 24, 2013
Awesome. :-) Merry Christmas (sincerely) to you too!