I was in my car stopped at a light after going to Giant when two jokers pulled beside me and made motions for me to roll down my window. They drunkenly started shouting, "Hi, Santa! What are ya gonna bring me for Christmas this year?"

I should have ignored them but instead replied, "Keep fucking with me and I'm going to have Rudolph shit in your stocking."

That only encouraged them to continue with slurred speech. "But I've been really good this year!"

"Look boys, I'm going to get you new tires for that really short bus you ride to school, I'm going to pay for that long overdue visit to the dentist, and I'm going to get you a gift certificate to the emergency room for after I kick both your asses."

Fortunately for them and me the light turned green and we went separate ways. Not the most festive thing I could have said but they really weren't as funny as they thought they were and, drunkenness aside, those Duck Dynasty rejects found a quick way to stand on my last nerve. Merry Christmas!


One Reply to Ho, Ho, Ho

Scott Hardie | December 24, 2013
Awesome. :-) Merry Christmas (sincerely) to you too!


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Information, Please...

Shortly after I obtained my driver's license, I got brave enough to travel a longer distance than the liquor store. I headed to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania to visit the historic battlefield. I had always been a Civil War nut (short of reenactments) and Antietam I had seen recently (someone else drove). Go »

Death, Taxes, and You're Wrong

Recent conversation with Brenda: Brenda: Does the sunset look strange to you? It looks like the sun is in front of the poles we're passing. What would cause that? Go »

Anger Management

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don’t take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don’t know, but you know deserves it. I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I’d forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. Go »

Let's Hope The Dog Doesn't Like To Chew On Stuff

The baby's a little fussy - I know, let's give her Mom's ashes. Talk about a niche market. I expect some may find this adorable and clever, I just find it creepy. Go »

Oprah Is Immortal

I was talking to Brenda about weight recently - about how hers is creeping up and mine is creeping down. I ran across this article afterwards and showed it to her as a peace offering (man that skillet to the skull really hurts!) Thigh size has been connected to a predilection for heart disease. Go »

Ahnuld's Dog, Heinrich

"Heel, Heinrich!", commands the Governator. "Kiss my grossly over-developed ass," snarls Heinrich in return. Go »