I was in my car stopped at a light after going to Giant when two jokers pulled beside me and made motions for me to roll down my window. They drunkenly started shouting, "Hi, Santa! What are ya gonna bring me for Christmas this year?"

I should have ignored them but instead replied, "Keep fucking with me and I'm going to have Rudolph shit in your stocking."

That only encouraged them to continue with slurred speech. "But I've been really good this year!"

"Look boys, I'm going to get you new tires for that really short bus you ride to school, I'm going to pay for that long overdue visit to the dentist, and I'm going to get you a gift certificate to the emergency room for after I kick both your asses."

Fortunately for them and me the light turned green and we went separate ways. Not the most festive thing I could have said but they really weren't as funny as they thought they were and, drunkenness aside, those Duck Dynasty rejects found a quick way to stand on my last nerve. Merry Christmas!


One Reply to Ho, Ho, Ho

Scott Hardie | December 24, 2013
Awesome. :-) Merry Christmas (sincerely) to you too!


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

How Much For A Pint, Mate?

I always wondered why Billy Joel was so depressed about Allentown. $10 for a beer?! I don't know how accurate this site is but some of the numbers stretch credulity. Go »

Odds And Ends (Definitely Odds)

Strange and wonderful stuff. Video of the week 1: Perfectville - Population 1 Nouvelle cuisine. Stuff a hamburger up your tailpipe. Go »

A Christmas Story for Christmas

Definitely early for Christmas, but there's an interesting item for auction on ebay that closes in a week or so. Spend Christmas Eve and morning in the house used to film A Christmas Story. I suppose there could be other events to make it a Christmas Con like a movie viewing, a shoot your eye out contest, and stick your tongue to the frozen pole game. Go »

I'll Have The Misogyny Au Gratin, Please

We were having dinner with my nephew the other night and the conversation steered toward his numerous relationships. He replied with that standard chauvinistic response, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" My wife looked at him directly and retorted, "Yeah, why buy the whole pig for just a little sausage?" Go »

Such As It Is...

Best stuff I found this week. Cowbell Hero - since I've mastered Guitar Hero. Rock star mug shots. Go »

Flotsam & Jetsam

I always wanted to use that phrase. Crazy ticketers in England. Which anniversary is it appropriate to celebrate at this restaurant? Go »