Recent conversation with Brenda:

me: I've been thinking about our love life lately.

Brenda: Have you been drinking?

me: I think the best comparison would be to the cockroach.

Brenda: Seriously, have you been drinking?

me: My passion for you is mostly active at night, it frightens the elderly, and it is completely impervious to nuclear weapons.

Brenda: My mom warned me about you.


Two Replies to Passion

Scott Hardie | February 24, 2012
Well... HAD you been drinking?

Steve West | February 24, 2012
Only coffee - and lots of it. Brenda once asked me if coffee keeps me awake. I replied, "Only until I want to go to sleep." That's sorta the point.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Woman Attacks Karaoke Singer

A woman attacked a karaoke singer while he was singing Coldplay. A similar thing happened to me once. I was pretty drunk and I started a fight with some guy singing Dave Matthews. Go »

The Naked Samaritan

Recent conversation with Brenda: Brenda: Did I ever tell you I posed nude for an art class? Me: Really?! (after recovering from shock) I had a college friend who posed for some extra money. Go »

I Know His Name Was Bob (Thanks, Amy)

Prom pictures that are (to be blunt) not good. I think I come closest to number 3. Number 9 is definitely my parents. Go »

Auntie Em! It's a Twister, It's a Twister!

What the wind blew in this week. According to this chart, Rambo V will have someone die in the first minute of the film and five deaths per minute following. It's official, Robin Williams has turned into a troll. Go »

Lauren the Builder

Here’s a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between my 5-year-old daughter, Lauren, and some construction workers. I embellished it only slightly. It will make you believe that we can all make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time. Go »

Mariah and the Subtle Burn

Recent conversation with Brenda (after hearing All I Want for Christmas... again): Me: Mariah Carey beginning with "I don't want a lot for Christmas..." and then revealing she wants "you" is kind of a burn, Brenda: She could mean that she doesn't want a lot of other gifts and only wants her man friend. Go »