Recent conversation with Brenda:

me: I've been thinking about our love life lately.

Brenda: Have you been drinking?

me: I think the best comparison would be to the cockroach.

Brenda: Seriously, have you been drinking?

me: My passion for you is mostly active at night, it frightens the elderly, and it is completely impervious to nuclear weapons.

Brenda: My mom warned me about you.


Two Replies to Passion

Scott Hardie | February 24, 2012
Well... HAD you been drinking?

Steve West | February 24, 2012
Only coffee - and lots of it. Brenda once asked me if coffee keeps me awake. I replied, "Only until I want to go to sleep." That's sorta the point.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

The Reunion

Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, “Surely I can’t look that old?” I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma which bore his full name. Go »

Information, Please...

Shortly after I obtained my driver's license, I got brave enough to travel a longer distance than the liquor store. I headed to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania to visit the historic battlefield. I had always been a Civil War nut (short of reenactments) and Antietam I had seen recently (someone else drove). Go »

Just As I Suspected...

A panel of experts (a group of listeners to Britain's BBC 6) have determined the worst duet in history. Obviously this group has no credentials or necessarily any credibility and history is such a long time. But that's a pretty good vote if schmaltz makes a song bad. Go »

I'll Have The Misogyny Au Gratin, Please

We were having dinner with my nephew the other night and the conversation steered toward his numerous relationships. He replied with that standard chauvinistic response, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" My wife looked at him directly and retorted, "Yeah, why buy the whole pig for just a little sausage?" Go »

The Texas Chili Cook-Off

Recently, at a Bowie Baysox baseball game, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a Texas chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last minute, and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans, probably) that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy; and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge #3. Go »

I Died a Spy

Recent conversation with Brenda: Me: When I die, I want people to believe I led a double life. Brenda: How and more importantly, why? Me: Try to respect my dying wish. Go »