Recent conversation with Brenda.

Me: You know those signs that say 'Keep Off the Grass'?

Brenda: Of course.

Me: I wonder if they have those at drug rehab places or if they just feel that it's redundant.

Brenda: I think you need one of those signs.

Me: I actually had a poster in my bedroom as a teenager that said 'Good Buds Stick Together'. Lord knows why my parents put up with that. Maybe they didn't get it. When I started college I switched to 'Coffee. If You're Not Shaking, You Need Another Cup'.

Brenda: I had a poster of Leif Garrett.

Me: And you think I'm mentally impaired?


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Beware Of Delaware

I'm off to vacation in the Eastern Hinterland, the wondrous first state of Delaware. I have friends there we are visiting and will be staying for the weekend. The only advantage to being there are a few Atlantic beaches and of course, tax-free shopping. Go »

The Magic Kingdom Is, Well...Magic

We just flew in from Orlando from a week's stay in Kissimmee, Florida. We had an incredible vacation that included the Magic Kingdom, Aquatica waterpark, a resort stay at Oak Plantation, Hollywood Studios, and Universal Citywalk including the Hard Rock Cafe, Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. and the Blue Man Group show. Go »

I'm a Doctor, Not a Kitchen Appliance!

My toaster has a timer on it that let's you know when it's finished. It seems a little silly to add a timer beeping that's a redundant addition to the toast loudly popping up from the machine that means the same thing. So now, because the timer emits a sound eerily similar to an EKG indicating flatline, every time it goes off I'll say to Brenda, "He's bread, Jim." Go »

Ice Cream That Would Make Homer Simpson Retch

In all honesty, I felt physically ill after about 1/3 of the way through this list. I could actually taste some of this nauseating stuff and it made my stomach churn. I don't even want to know what raw horseflesh flavor is like. Go »

Be My Valentine

Valentine's Day will always have a special meaning for me. Seventeen years ago today, Brenda and I kissed for the very first time. It was an electric moment for me, one that I'll always remember. Go »

Got Dem Sunday Shopping UOAS Blues

Weekly shopping or as it has become, my weekly stroll through Satan's marketplace. I consciously avoided UOAS's line and since there were only two lines, chose the one next door. Let's call this one Slightly Less Ugly On A Stick. Go »