Recent conversation with Brenda.

Me: You know those signs that say 'Keep Off the Grass'?

Brenda: Of course.

Me: I wonder if they have those at drug rehab places or if they just feel that it's redundant.

Brenda: I think you need one of those signs.

Me: I actually had a poster in my bedroom as a teenager that said 'Good Buds Stick Together'. Lord knows why my parents put up with that. Maybe they didn't get it. When I started college I switched to 'Coffee. If You're Not Shaking, You Need Another Cup'.

Brenda: I had a poster of Leif Garrett.

Me: And you think I'm mentally impaired?


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

My First Baby Got Married

WE ARE BACK! What a trip. Five flights, countless hours in layovers, endless treks from gate to gate, sometimes in limited timeframes, no meals except for snacks on the planes and no Wi-fi! Go »

Anchors Aweigh

Recent conversation with Brenda: Brenda: (after observing me sucking in my stomach while standing on a scale) Ha! Me: What? Brenda: Sucking in your blubber won't help! Go »

The Five Stages Of Patriots Grief

The Giants are the greatest 10-6 team of all time! Go »

The New Store

At a local mall, I overheard an interaction between two budding entrepreneurs and an old man strolling along with a cane. A new store announced with a sign, "Opening Soon!" and inside were the two guys opening a few boxes to stack their wares on shelves. Go »

Information, Please...

Shortly after I obtained my driver's license, I got brave enough to travel a longer distance than the liquor store. I headed to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania to visit the historic battlefield. I had always been a Civil War nut (short of reenactments) and Antietam I had seen recently (someone else drove). Go »

Crash Test Your Car

Curious about the performance of your car, or any other for that matter, in a crash test? Watch crash dummy after crash dummy suffer serious neck injury in front and side impact crash tests. You pick the make,model and year of car but sadly not the face painted on the dummy. Go »