Recent conversation with Brenda:

me: I was thinking about Star Wars stuff the other day and I can't help but see this mental image of the Empire State Building wielding a light sabre and waving it at King Kong. You know, The Empire Strikes Back.

Brenda: Have you taken your meds today?

me: Seriously, Kong took a lot of bullets before falling off. A light sabre the size of a building would have cut him in half.

Brenda: ???

me: I would hate to be on the clean-up crew for that one.

Brenda: I'm going away now.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Christmas Post #6: Beer Foam = Food

I showed this product to my wife and said, "If it only had a urinal, I would never leave the rec room." "But what would you eat?", she asked. Go »

Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?

Recent conversation with Brenda: While watching “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” in bed... Me: Do you want to have sex? Brenda: No. Go »

Dumb Criminals And Other Court Type Stuff Part 3

Another small collection of weird legal matters. Yeah research, that's the ticket; Too manly for the ladies' room; Chi-tonw blues; Cat's got yer what?; and finally, I have no idea what it's like to be busted for DUI, taken for mugshots wearing a shirt displaying my love for midget sex, and then being forever haunted by that image surfacing on the internet, but I know who to ask. Go »

Speaking Of Tattoos...

"She Who Must Be Obeyed" (my wife) has graciously allowed me to alter my flesh by getting a tattoo. Much thought has gone into this. David Spade put it well after getting a Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes tattoo on his shoulder. Go »

The Real Colon Blow Cereal

Holy metaphors, Batman! This recent All-Bran commercial from Kellogg's touts its ability to aid one in shitting enough bricks to build a barbecue. Go »

I'll Have The Misogyny Au Gratin, Please

We were having dinner with my nephew the other night and the conversation steered toward his numerous relationships. He replied with that standard chauvinistic response, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" My wife looked at him directly and retorted, "Yeah, why buy the whole pig for just a little sausage?" Go »