Recent conversation with Brenda:

me: I was thinking about Star Wars stuff the other day and I can't help but see this mental image of the Empire State Building wielding a light sabre and waving it at King Kong. You know, The Empire Strikes Back.

Brenda: Have you taken your meds today?

me: Seriously, Kong took a lot of bullets before falling off. A light sabre the size of a building would have cut him in half.

Brenda: ???

me: I would hate to be on the clean-up crew for that one.

Brenda: I'm going away now.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Christmas and a Lizard's Tale

One Christmas when Lauren was eight, like a lot of girls her age, wished for a pony. My backyard at the time was about the size of a Volkswagen Minibus. Despite her assurances that she would let it roam the neighborhood for sufficient exercise, I said, “Not this year,” as I pictured myself following the horse with a pooper scooper. Go »

Not Halloween But Pretty Scary

Imagine a band composed entirely of ukeleles and a guitar or two. Scared yet? Now imagine that band performing rock songs. Go »

Goo Con III

What a fantastic time! Matt is truly one of the most gregarious, fun-loving and genuine people I know. Denise and Kelly were completely charming (of course!). Go »

Halloween Is Not For Kids

More and more, Halloween is becoming an occasion for parents to dress their kids for their own amusement and less and less for children to dress themselves as they want. I find it difficult to believe that any of these kids chose these costumes themselves and, although creative, are scary insights into the minds of their potential serial killer parents. The "rat eating brains" cap for infants disturbed me the most. Go »

I'm Like Evander Holyfield Except With Two Entire Ears

Recent conversation with Brenda. Brenda: My aunt just had a birthday. She's 94. Go »

Insanity is Relative

Recent conversation with Brenda. Me: You know those signs that say 'Keep Off the Grass'? Brenda: Of course. Go »