Recent conversation with Brenda:

me: I was thinking about Star Wars stuff the other day and I can't help but see this mental image of the Empire State Building wielding a light sabre and waving it at King Kong. You know, The Empire Strikes Back.

Brenda: Have you taken your meds today?

me: Seriously, Kong took a lot of bullets before falling off. A light sabre the size of a building would have cut him in half.

Brenda: ???

me: I would hate to be on the clean-up crew for that one.

Brenda: I'm going away now.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Flotsam & Jetsam

I always wanted to use that phrase. Crazy ticketers in England. Which anniversary is it appropriate to celebrate at this restaurant? Go »

It's Not My Fault

Recent conversation with Brenda: Brenda: Steven! me:Yes, queen of my soul. Brenda: The bathroom sink is full of whiskers. Go »

Got Those Grocery Shop On Saturday Blues

I'm starting to shift my thinking on who's the problem in my relationship with UOAS. Even the most passably inane thing she says requires a sarcastic comment from me. It seems to have become a moral imperative in my mind. Go »

Love Letter and Goodbye

I had a very strange thing happen to me this morning. Overnight, I had a dream that featured my ex-wife, Betsy. I told Brenda about it and wondered what the image of Betsy represented in my subconscious that made me wake with such a clear image of her. Go »

If It's Human Waste, Save Some For Me

Should Burt Reynolds' fecal matter be worth more than Crispin Glover's? Which costs more: David Lee Roth's fecal matter or Sammy Hagar's urine? Start your Christmas list now for Celebrity Organic Waste Products. Go »

Hair's The Thing

I just got back from getting a haircut. I sat in the chair at a local salon and reminisced about my childhood and accompanying my father to his weekly hair trimmings. We went to a pretty old-fashioned Mayberry barbershop in suburban DC that was the Italian version of Floyd's. Go »