The Long and Winding Road
by Steve West on July 1, 2011
I've led my life with few regrets but those few have been big ones. I've posted a bit about my divorce but not about the reasons behind it. I'm not going to now either but I will say that Betsy deserved better at that time. God has seen fit to provide me with a daughter who has autism. I generally view that not as a punishment but as a responsibility that He sees me capable of handling. Brenda has lost her job yet we are still scraping by well above the poverty level. So much so that we are still actively searching for a new house. So all in all, things have turned out pretty well despite my own inadequacies. Despite the bumps along the way, everything appeared heading in the right direction. A few days ago, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.
It's difficult to determine how long I've been affected by this as the symptoms didn't start displaying themselves until recently. Dizziness, fatigue, and achiness all seemed attributable to how hard I had been working. At one point, a few weeks ago, my right leg stopped working - I mean I was dragging it around. I went to the doctor that same day and the steroid prescription I started that evening made me feel brand new the next day. He suspected that maybe I had an infection or possibly Lyme Disease. Subsequent MRI's, however, told the tale.
Treatment for MS has apparently come a long way. You can stave off the worst affects for many years - a few decades in fact. I probably won't experience any real life-altering changes (other than needing medication) until retirement has passed. I still have so much to accomplish with my children. I can't stop being the Dad they need me to be. This is not a life-threatening disease but it can be life-altering. It's possible that I could lose the use of my legs or other gross stuff that I won't linger on. Treatment won't begin until I have an official diagnosis (90% needs to be 100%). It's one of those diseases that is difficult to diagnose because there is no one test that says, "Yep, that's what you've got." It's more a process of eliminating everything else and if you don't have that, then you have MS. I still have a battery of tests to complete over the next month, at the end of which my doctor and I can discuss treatment. and then prognosis.
I don't think of the things I've gone through as unusual, like I'm the only person on the planet that has weathered so many storms in a row. Many have it much worse. Yet I am just a little weary of the valleys and would like to experience a few more peaks, please.
Three Replies to The Long and Winding Road
Steve West | July 1, 2011
You guys mean a lot to me. Thanks. And I empathize, Kelly. Listen to your doctor!
Jackie Mason | August 2, 2011
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Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
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Recent conversation with Brenda while recuperating in hospital: Me: Hey, wanna hear a joke I made up? I'm gonna tell my RN the next visit she makes. Brenda: Of course. Go »
Scott Hardie | July 1, 2011
That feeling you describe at the end, weariness at more bad news, is totally understandable. Every time yet another crisis strikes us, I try to remind myself how fortunate Kelly and I are in many ways, but I still feel even more tired of the relentless misfortune the next time something goes wrong.
You've got a good attitude, a will not to feel defeated by this, and that's what you need most. That and, I presume, good health insurance. You're going to spend plenty of days cursing this affliction, particularly the gross stuff, but there will be many more days when it doesn't bother you at all. Whatever Kelly and I can do for you, just some smiles online or anything, we're here.