I never thought I'd write these words, but I'm the delighted new owner of a Hummer H2. It's all black, brand new in perfect condition. I've already got it tricked out with glowing ground-effects lights on the undercarriage and special extra-thick tires for off-roading. I can't wait to take it out to the track one night this week and drive a few laps in it.



However, because it's only eight inches long, it will be kind of hard to get in. It's not a real H2, just a radio-controlled model in the XMODS Evolution series from Radio Shack. (link) One of my coworkers put together a racing league for the little cars and trucks, and I went with the biggest, heaviest, and (so I read) fastest model in the set. They're fun to play with, they're fun to modify, and in our one exhibition event so far, they're fun to race against other drivers. However, they can be expensive, especially how quickly the H2 goes through so many batteries. Give 'em a look if you feel like trying something different.


Three Replies to Long Live Scott's Other New Car

Anna Gregoline | April 2, 2007
You scared me for half a second there!

Jackie Mason | April 5, 2007
[hidden by author request]

Scott Hardie | April 5, 2007
I highly doubt anyone is going to take up this hobby after this blog post, but I would feel terrible if somehow you did and I didn't warn you to throw the Radio Shack screwdriver into the trash and buy a real one at any hardware store. That damn screwdriver that comes with the car is a screw-destroying monster that nearly ruined my car permanently after only a few frustrating hours of use.

The first race was fun, but my tires kept coming off due to unforeseen implications of some changes I had made, and it became a running joke to see the tires go flying off the Hummer again. I didn't finish in any of four runs because of it. I'll have better tires next time for sure.


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Hello Stupid

I don't know why car companies insist on calling their products "vehicles" now. Apparently "cars" became a dirty word and I missed it. But if you're going to change the term, consider your marketing messages carefully: As a matter of fact, yes, I have heard about radar, sonar, and infared technology in vehicles, such as submarines, aircraft carriers, and helicopters. Go »

The News is Furry

I'm glad to see that CNN has continued their crackerjack, no-nonsense news coverage during ratings season: Go »

Heart Burn

The recurring pericarditis that I mentioned elsewhere is now believed by my primary-care doctor to be heartburn or possibly an ulcer. The latter explanation is possible I suppose, but I'm skeptical about the former since it feels less like an acidic burning than like a sharp localized lower-chest pain such as a knife wound or bullet wound. Either way, it still keeps occurring every few weeks, it still hurts like a son of a bitch and keeps me awake all night, and I'm way beyond sick of it happening. Go »

Flow Charts

Meet the marriage of rap music and Microsoft Office: (link) Why do I have the feeling Herbert Kornfeld made some of these? Thanks, Marlon. Go »

What We Kept

One winter in the mid-1970s, my grandfather Donald was hospitalized with a serious infection in his foot. Being diabetic, he went out of his way for years to avoid any infections or other hazards, but his luck had run out. On Christmas Day, he was informed by the doctors that they would have to amputate his foot the next morning. Go »

Open Letter to a Lab Technician at Manatee Memorial Hospital

Just a few things that I would have liked to have said if I could have gotten a word in edgewise: - Yes, there is a strong correlation between ultra-processed food and obesity, but so far, no causal connection has been proven. - No, organic produce is not *all* covered in pesticides anyway, although some is farmed using non-synthetic pesticide and some winds up exposed to synthetic pesticide anyway for a variety of reasons. - Bill Gates promotes and invests in soy-based meat replacements because he believes that soy products are better for the environment and for human health. Go »