I never thought I'd write these words, but I'm the delighted new owner of a Hummer H2. It's all black, brand new in perfect condition. I've already got it tricked out with glowing ground-effects lights on the undercarriage and special extra-thick tires for off-roading. I can't wait to take it out to the track one night this week and drive a few laps in it.



However, because it's only eight inches long, it will be kind of hard to get in. It's not a real H2, just a radio-controlled model in the XMODS Evolution series from Radio Shack. (link) One of my coworkers put together a racing league for the little cars and trucks, and I went with the biggest, heaviest, and (so I read) fastest model in the set. They're fun to play with, they're fun to modify, and in our one exhibition event so far, they're fun to race against other drivers. However, they can be expensive, especially how quickly the H2 goes through so many batteries. Give 'em a look if you feel like trying something different.


Three Replies to Long Live Scott's Other New Car

Anna Gregoline | April 2, 2007
You scared me for half a second there!

Jackie Mason | April 5, 2007
[hidden by author request]

Scott Hardie | April 5, 2007
I highly doubt anyone is going to take up this hobby after this blog post, but I would feel terrible if somehow you did and I didn't warn you to throw the Radio Shack screwdriver into the trash and buy a real one at any hardware store. That damn screwdriver that comes with the car is a screw-destroying monster that nearly ruined my car permanently after only a few frustrating hours of use.

The first race was fun, but my tires kept coming off due to unforeseen implications of some changes I had made, and it became a running joke to see the tires go flying off the Hummer again. I didn't finish in any of four runs because of it. I'll have better tires next time for sure.


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Goodbye Dooce

Dooce.com has given me a lot of laughs over the years, and it's one of the few weblogs I have made a point to visit every day. But lately I just can't get past how much Heather bashes her husband, and with increasing viciousness. Go »

When Erik Met Matthew

The spark for the idea came during the pandemic, when we here on Funeratic decided to try some Zoom conversations and games. Two people who I admire for (among other things) their ability to converse quickly and freely with strangers and to get along instantly with seemingly anyone, Erik Bates and Matthew Preston, talked to each other for the first time and of course they hit it off immediately. I knew I wasn't imagining it, because other people on the call remarked on it. Go »

Open Letter to a Lab Technician at Manatee Memorial Hospital

Just a few things that I would have liked to have said if I could have gotten a word in edgewise: - Yes, there is a strong correlation between ultra-processed food and obesity, but so far, no causal connection has been proven. - No, organic produce is not *all* covered in pesticides anyway, although some is farmed using non-synthetic pesticide and some winds up exposed to synthetic pesticide anyway for a variety of reasons. - Bill Gates promotes and invests in soy-based meat replacements because he believes that soy products are better for the environment and for human health. Go »

Neighborhood Botch

I've heard that riding in the front seat of an Uber signals that you want to chat with the driver, and riding in the back seat means that you prefer silence. I always sit in the back. But when I went to catch a ride from my house the other night, there was stuff in the van's back seat, so the front was the only option. Go »

Mile-High Hypocrisy

The homeowners' association in a Denver suburb is furious that one of its residents has dared to put up a Christmas wreath in the shape of the peace symbol. (link) Yeah. Keep reading till the end. Go »

Illinois, October 2012

Our road trip to see friends and family in Illinois was well worth it. The drive both ways was pleasant. I indulged in junk food like a man taking a break from six months of dieting (since my post-Atkins diet started in June, I've lost 50 pounds). Go »