I never thought I'd write these words, but I'm the delighted new owner of a Hummer H2. It's all black, brand new in perfect condition. I've already got it tricked out with glowing ground-effects lights on the undercarriage and special extra-thick tires for off-roading. I can't wait to take it out to the track one night this week and drive a few laps in it.



However, because it's only eight inches long, it will be kind of hard to get in. It's not a real H2, just a radio-controlled model in the XMODS Evolution series from Radio Shack. (link) One of my coworkers put together a racing league for the little cars and trucks, and I went with the biggest, heaviest, and (so I read) fastest model in the set. They're fun to play with, they're fun to modify, and in our one exhibition event so far, they're fun to race against other drivers. However, they can be expensive, especially how quickly the H2 goes through so many batteries. Give 'em a look if you feel like trying something different.


Three Replies to Long Live Scott's Other New Car

Anna Gregoline | April 2, 2007
You scared me for half a second there!

Jackie Mason | April 5, 2007
[hidden by author request]

Scott Hardie | April 5, 2007
I highly doubt anyone is going to take up this hobby after this blog post, but I would feel terrible if somehow you did and I didn't warn you to throw the Radio Shack screwdriver into the trash and buy a real one at any hardware store. That damn screwdriver that comes with the car is a screw-destroying monster that nearly ruined my car permanently after only a few frustrating hours of use.

The first race was fun, but my tires kept coming off due to unforeseen implications of some changes I had made, and it became a running joke to see the tires go flying off the Hummer again. I didn't finish in any of four runs because of it. I'll have better tires next time for sure.


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

World Trade, Like, Something

I love it when two teenagers ring up and bag my groceries. "Did you ever see that Nicolas Cage movie about 9/11? I watched that last night, and, like, it got me thinking about how bad that was." Go »

No R'lyeh, I'm Not a Fan

I never thought of myself as a fan of H.P. Lovecraft. I don't think I've read more than a couple of his short stories. Go »

March 14, 1977

I hope this doesn't set a precedent for doing this on everybody's 30th birthday, or I'm going to be busy writing these for the next few years... Top Ten Reasons Denise Sawicki is Awesome 10) She wore red on her wedding day, and she looked good. 9) She doesn't just send the DVD as a surprise birthday gift. Go »

Thus Spoke Jeffy

This has been around for a while I'm sure, but it's new to me and I love it: The Nietzsche Family Circus. Go »

Ten Things I Learned While Kelly's Parents Pat & Russ Spent a Week Visiting Us

• Florida reminds me of Dave Barry's quip that vacationing in Britain is great because you meet people from entirely different states. We stopped a woman to take our picture; she was visiting from New Jersey and her daughter beside her was from California. The only local we met warned us what bridge not to jump off for swimming because the water is shark-infested. Go »

Grousing About the Mouse

Kelly and I still have our annual passes to Disney World, but we've had more trouble going recently because of disabilities that slow us down. A friend suggested joining a busy Facebook group for Disney World fans like us who struggle with disabilities and share advice with each other. I clicked the button to join, and up popped a 4-question form asking questions that are required for membership. Go »