I never thought I'd write these words, but I'm the delighted new owner of a Hummer H2. It's all black, brand new in perfect condition. I've already got it tricked out with glowing ground-effects lights on the undercarriage and special extra-thick tires for off-roading. I can't wait to take it out to the track one night this week and drive a few laps in it.



However, because it's only eight inches long, it will be kind of hard to get in. It's not a real H2, just a radio-controlled model in the XMODS Evolution series from Radio Shack. (link) One of my coworkers put together a racing league for the little cars and trucks, and I went with the biggest, heaviest, and (so I read) fastest model in the set. They're fun to play with, they're fun to modify, and in our one exhibition event so far, they're fun to race against other drivers. However, they can be expensive, especially how quickly the H2 goes through so many batteries. Give 'em a look if you feel like trying something different.


Three Replies to Long Live Scott's Other New Car

Anna Gregoline | April 2, 2007
You scared me for half a second there!

Jackie Mason | April 5, 2007
[hidden by author request]

Scott Hardie | April 5, 2007
I highly doubt anyone is going to take up this hobby after this blog post, but I would feel terrible if somehow you did and I didn't warn you to throw the Radio Shack screwdriver into the trash and buy a real one at any hardware store. That damn screwdriver that comes with the car is a screw-destroying monster that nearly ruined my car permanently after only a few frustrating hours of use.

The first race was fun, but my tires kept coming off due to unforeseen implications of some changes I had made, and it became a running joke to see the tires go flying off the Hummer again. I didn't finish in any of four runs because of it. I'll have better tires next time for sure.


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Not to Be Confused with Denise Sawicki

It's been two months since I first mentioned my new love Denise on the site. She's overdue for a proper introduction, since I plan to continue mentioning her on a first-name basis around here. (I don't know why some men continue to tell me about their woman by calling her "my wife" or "my girlfriend" even though I've known her and socialized with her for years.) Go »

Ten Things I Learned While Kelly's Parents Pat & Russ Spent a Week Visiting Us

• Florida reminds me of Dave Barry's quip that vacationing in Britain is great because you meet people from entirely different states. We stopped a woman to take our picture; she was visiting from New Jersey and her daughter beside her was from California. The only local we met warned us what bridge not to jump off for swimming because the water is shark-infested. Go »

The Vagueness Continues

Things are looking up. Tomorrow, we sign the lease on a new house in Sarasota, bigger and cheaper than the ridiculously overpriced apartment we've had for five years. It's the first in a series of changes that we've wanted to make for a long time. Go »

You Won't See This in the Goo Game

Jeopardy! history was made yesterday: (link) Go »

Open Letter to a Lab Technician at Manatee Memorial Hospital

Just a few things that I would have liked to have said if I could have gotten a word in edgewise: - Yes, there is a strong correlation between ultra-processed food and obesity, but so far, no causal connection has been proven. - No, organic produce is not *all* covered in pesticides anyway, although some is farmed using non-synthetic pesticide and some winds up exposed to synthetic pesticide anyway for a variety of reasons. - Bill Gates promotes and invests in soy-based meat replacements because he believes that soy products are better for the environment and for human health. Go »

The News is Scary

Sixth-grader admits stabbing ducks with pencil. Does anyone else read this and think, this kid will grow up to be Jeffrey Dahmer? Vegan parents guilty of murder. Go »