Neighborhood Botch
by Scott Hardie on March 10, 2025
I've heard that riding in the front seat of an Uber signals that you want to chat with the driver, and riding in the back seat means that you prefer silence. I always sit in the back.
But when I went to catch a ride from my house the other night, there was stuff in the van's back seat, so the front was the only option. As I squeezed in, the driver cheerfully asked, "Do you like the neighborhood?"
"Uh, yeah, I guess so," I said, still trying to get the seat belt on. The driver started rolling away.
As he drove, he kept muttering questions, increasingly quietly. Between his dwindling volume and Arabic accent, I couldn't really understand what he was asking, so I kept offering bland responses. "Uh huh." "Yeah." "Mmm."
After five minutes, there was at last a lull where he stopped muttering. To fill the silence, I elaborated: "This used to be a really quiet neighborhood. But since they connected the new bridge last year, traffic has gotten really bad here. There are just so many people now!"
At normal volume, the driver said, "Hey, I'm going to have to call you back. I have a passenger." And then he took the earbud out of his left ear.
We didn't talk for the rest of the drive.
Logical Operator
The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »
Silly Caucasian Girl Likes to Play with Samurai Swords
I heard that a teenager was questioned by the Secret Service after she posted an icon saying "Kill Bush" on her myspace page. My companions were up in arms over it, saying that's a violation of free speech and how dare they scare her, et cetera. I don't see how she was charged with any crime or how this how this disrupts anything but her school day. Go »Modern Music
Sadness is not when one of your favorite bands (Smashing Pumpkins) puts out their final album in MP3 format only and you miss it because you don't want to get into file-sharing. Sadness is five years later, when you happily stumble across a website with the entire thing available for download and you finally learn how heinous and unpublishable the album was all along. Go »Back in Black
Is it already the end of December? It feels like it's been three days since Thanksgiving. Between late nights at work, holiday parties, and shopping for the big day, this month has been a blur. Go »Humbug 4 Life
This isn't a very popular opinion these days, but it's from the heart: I'm getting terribly fed up with Christmas all around me, and being wished a merry Christmas dozens of different ways every day both verbal and non-verbal. Normally I think political correctness is a joke and the word "offended" is a thoroughly dead horse of a cliché, but I have no other word for how I feel than offended. I'm not Christian and want nothing to do with the holiday of Christmas. Go »Happiness, That's My Livelihood
Somehow I've agreed to teach HTML & PHP classes on Friday mornings. Two down, at least two to go. I enjoy teaching, and you know I enjoy making websites, but the getting-up-before-dawn-at-the-end-of-a-long-week part is agony. Go »
