We're watching some high school shows lately, notably Freaks and Geeks, which I love, also My So-Called Life which I hesitate to admit I find hard to get into... Anyway Freaks and Geeks sure makes me jealous of the friendships those characters had in high school. Nobody would ever make a show about my high school experience. Far too boring :). I would have idolized a person like Lindsay Weir and wished to be her, she is so sweet and kind and smart, but I was more of a Millie despite being an atheist. Boring and uptight. I also am a lot like Brian Krakow on MSCL though I don't like the guy. We've only gotten to the "Life of Brian" episode which is supposed to be one of the best but all I can say after watching it is I hate that guy. What an idiot for dumping the girl who wanted to go to the dance with him just because Angela asked to ride with him, making it clear it was not a date... She is right to call him heartless... My heartlessness is probably the main cause of my own lack of friends in high school and beyond, I was just always so focused on how pathetic I am to the extent of ignoring everyone around me...

Sigh
Just imagine if this true recollection of my life would make a good episode of a TV show. Some guy called me on the phone the summer before junior year. He said his name but I had never met him and didn't know who he was. He said he knew a friend of mine. (Can I really use "friend" for anyone I knew in those days? More someone who allowed me to sit at the same lunch table) He proceeded to ask me out. I thought I heard someone else laughing in the background. I hung up in a panic, assuming it was some joke designed to humiliate me. I got to school in the fall and found that I was in a couple classes with the guy and that he was very cute and yet slightly dorky so that I felt I might have a shot at speaking with him. Did I speak with him? No... Did I speak to the common acquaintance he mentioned and ask about him? No... Rather I spent the entire year obsessing about whether he could have possibly been serious in asking me out, and concocting weird roundabout schemes to talk to him... leaving a cryptic note in the locker of the shared acquaintance... leaving an even more cryptic note on his desk (he did not show up to class that day, that would have been humiliating if he had!) Neither note included a clear indication that it was me that sent it, that would have been too direct... I once wrote "WHY?" on the desk that I knew he would occupy in the next class period. Tell me, what could this possibly accomplish? What a relief it would have been to *speak* to someone about this situation and ask their opinion as to what the guy meant by calling me! But I couldn't do that because then someone would know I had a crush on the guy and then, I felt, I would open myself up to extreme ridicule... Anyway... my life couldn't be a TV show because there is no dialog, I am forever trapped in my head. :-P

The sad thing is that, even now that I'm married, I don't think I've matured much beyond those days :-) If I had would I really be jealous of those kids on Freaks and Geeks playing D&D?


Prayer for the Paranoid

Denise Sawicki posts whatever she feels able to post without serious consequences Read more »

Giant flakes of cereal

The big news of today is we found a big flake of raisin bran crunch. I don't know if it's quite as big as the one featured in the coming link but it's pretty big. You can get some idea of what my life is like because I then proceeded to google for "largest flake" and "giant flake". Go »

Ghost of an Unkissed Kiss

As though I don't look bad enough for sharing information on my lame celebrity crushes, here's a real-life one, albeit a really old one. I'd forgotten that his full name was in the movie we watched the other day and maybe hearing his name was what got me started on this nostalgic path. He's got a common name. Go »

Now I remember why I live in North Dakota

It got hot all of a sudden the last few days, or what passes for hot in ND in early April (50s). It's like a spring break video out there, people prancing around in bikinis yelling "woo"... OK not quite but there is a marked change in demeanor. Go »

D&D update

The guys made it to 4th level and then we added 2 new characters. We had a dragonborn warlord and an elf ranger, at 4th level we added an eladrin wizard and a dwarf fighter. Darrell is playing the fighter and warlord, Darrin has the ranger (though he's not exactly into the game so we're lucky if we're able to call him to the table to actually make his dice rolls) and I got the wizard even though I'm DM :-P. Go »

Haircuts and dandelions

So I cut off all my hair this weekend, about 16 inches of it. Now it is above chin length. I like it better this way but can't be bothered to get it cut more than once a year (I think I went 2 years this time). Go »

Adventures with Free Desserts

Four recent adventures with free desserts: 1. We had not much to do on Saturday morning so, against our better judgement, we decided to go to the furniture store, who had sent us a coupon offering free breakfast and a free gift to "preferred customers". Breakfast turned out to be doughnuts. Go »