Stay-cation Week III
by Steve West on August 13, 2008
Leave it to Amy to call it what it is. She's 100% right so far but wait till Friday. Today's schedule was a little tight because we used up the morning clothes shopping for school. I don't know when we found time previous years because I didn't have to take vacation time to do it. Guys, imagine your worst nightmare about clothes shopping with a female companion and then triple that. Everything looked great to me after one look. But they have to compare. And not just from dress to dress but from store to store! Me, I adopt a more "hunt it down and kill it" attitude towards shopping. Need shoes. Ugh. Find shoes. Grunt. Buy shoes. Snort. Drag home by shoelaces.
After the ordeal was over, I was exhausted but they seemed exhilerated. So we found this mega- playroom type place that was full of moonbounces, inflatable slides, and scalable walls. All padded stuff that was really slick and made for good sliding.
Those walls were tricky. One was so steep and the footholds so floppy that they were nearly unscalable. But those little bastards were going straight up using a couple of straps as handholds. Fine. I needed to get up there to help my youngest slide down the slide on the other side of the wall. This thing was 10 feet high but if I got on top, held down my hand, Brenda could boost Olivia up and we could get her to the top. So like a scene from Officer and a Gentleman, I started scaling this wall. The little turd-droppers only weighed 50 lbs. each whereas I weigh 200. I get half-way up and my feet are churning so furiously, my sock falls off. I plummet to the bottom, retrieve my delinquent hosiery and leap back up. Children are passing me on the left and right but I reach the top before a coronary happens. Now, I'm at the top but have to perform a sort of belly-flop maneuver, without causing casualties, to be able to sit on the ledge. Success! Brenda is laughing at my heroics the whole ego-shattering time. Olivia goes down the slide head-first on her back and I leap down and run around to make sure she's okay. She's smiling and grabs my hand insisting that we go around for a second go. Great. So I take my nitro glycerine tablets and attack the wall again. Red-faced, I make it to the top and she slides again and again. Fifteen times before she's ready to move on to the next defibrillator-ready piece of equipment.
The girls had a great time and pleaded, "Can we come back again," when it was time to go. Whew. I think I'm the only one exhausted. Bitches.
Three Replies to Stay-cation Week III
Tony Peters | August 14, 2008
LOL thanks steve you made my morning...the playroom sorta reminds me of my twin 4yo neices...talk about energy....
Lori Lancaster | August 14, 2008
[hidden by author request]
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
Thorough Movie Reviews Revisited
Are you one of the group of people, like myself, who insist that they are not influenced by movie critics and make your film choices based on whim, fancy, instinct or some other method completely unrelated to some "professional's" opinion? Perhaps you should visit this website where you can rate (not review) movies yourself, and compare the result with a series of national reviewers to see whose opinion most closely matches yours. Maybe that particular reviewer deserves a second look since you two seem to be on similar movie viewing wavelengths. Go »Have I Mentioned How Much I Love My Wife?
I got a surprise visit from Amy Austin today. She was passing through Maryland on her way to Florida and took the time to call me from the road. I was thrilled that she thought of me being in the area and invited her to visit for what could only be a brief visit. Go »Breakfast Becomes Dessert
Recently, Brenda and I had breakfast at a local diner because they have a fairly low age requirement (55) to get the "senior special". For $4.00 you get 2 eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast. Go »Christmas Post #10: SNL Parody Inspires Product
I don't know if the SNL commercial parody for a product called "Ass Don't Smell" inspired the inventors of this product but the connection in my mind cracks me up. Meeting all of your body odor needs. I couldn't find the original sketch but here's a parody of the parody, I think. Go »Shaken And Stirred Too For Good Measure
Semi-bizarre gallery devoted to people shaking their faces, having any loose skin flop around, and photographing the results. Go »
Amy Austin | August 14, 2008
LOL... you're a more devoted parent than I could be!