Stay-cation Week III
by Steve West on August 13, 2008
Leave it to Amy to call it what it is. She's 100% right so far but wait till Friday. Today's schedule was a little tight because we used up the morning clothes shopping for school. I don't know when we found time previous years because I didn't have to take vacation time to do it. Guys, imagine your worst nightmare about clothes shopping with a female companion and then triple that. Everything looked great to me after one look. But they have to compare. And not just from dress to dress but from store to store! Me, I adopt a more "hunt it down and kill it" attitude towards shopping. Need shoes. Ugh. Find shoes. Grunt. Buy shoes. Snort. Drag home by shoelaces.
After the ordeal was over, I was exhausted but they seemed exhilerated. So we found this mega- playroom type place that was full of moonbounces, inflatable slides, and scalable walls. All padded stuff that was really slick and made for good sliding.
Those walls were tricky. One was so steep and the footholds so floppy that they were nearly unscalable. But those little bastards were going straight up using a couple of straps as handholds. Fine. I needed to get up there to help my youngest slide down the slide on the other side of the wall. This thing was 10 feet high but if I got on top, held down my hand, Brenda could boost Olivia up and we could get her to the top. So like a scene from Officer and a Gentleman, I started scaling this wall. The little turd-droppers only weighed 50 lbs. each whereas I weigh 200. I get half-way up and my feet are churning so furiously, my sock falls off. I plummet to the bottom, retrieve my delinquent hosiery and leap back up. Children are passing me on the left and right but I reach the top before a coronary happens. Now, I'm at the top but have to perform a sort of belly-flop maneuver, without causing casualties, to be able to sit on the ledge. Success! Brenda is laughing at my heroics the whole ego-shattering time. Olivia goes down the slide head-first on her back and I leap down and run around to make sure she's okay. She's smiling and grabs my hand insisting that we go around for a second go. Great. So I take my nitro glycerine tablets and attack the wall again. Red-faced, I make it to the top and she slides again and again. Fifteen times before she's ready to move on to the next defibrillator-ready piece of equipment.
The girls had a great time and pleaded, "Can we come back again," when it was time to go. Whew. I think I'm the only one exhausted. Bitches.
Three Replies to Stay-cation Week III
Tony Peters | August 14, 2008
LOL thanks steve you made my morning...the playroom sorta reminds me of my twin 4yo neices...talk about energy....
Lori Lancaster | August 14, 2008
[hidden by author request]
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
Slip Slidin' Away
Why do adults get on children's slides? Compilation film of various acidents, big, small, young, and old. The fifth clip in of the guy going down the water slide head first sans kid almost gave me a brain hemorrhage from laughing. Go »Mariah and the Subtle Burn
Recent conversation with Brenda (after hearing All I Want for Christmas... again): Me: Mariah Carey beginning with "I don't want a lot for Christmas..." and then revealing she wants "you" is kind of a burn, Brenda: She could mean that she doesn't want a lot of other gifts and only wants her man friend. Go »Insanity is Relative
Recent conversation with Brenda. Me: You know those signs that say 'Keep Off the Grass'? Brenda: Of course. Go »A Christmas Story for Christmas
Definitely early for Christmas, but there's an interesting item for auction on ebay that closes in a week or so. Spend Christmas Eve and morning in the house used to film A Christmas Story. I suppose there could be other events to make it a Christmas Con like a movie viewing, a shoot your eye out contest, and stick your tongue to the frozen pole game. Go »Goo Con III
What a fantastic time! Matt is truly one of the most gregarious, fun-loving and genuine people I know. Denise and Kelly were completely charming (of course!). Go »
Amy Austin | August 14, 2008
LOL... you're a more devoted parent than I could be!