Laugh Or Cry
by Steve West on June 9, 2010
I have today and tomorrow scheduled off from work (unrelated to any on-the-job sarcasm). I haven't requested two days in a row off from work since last summer, I think. So I treated myself to a couple of midweek vacation days to R & R. Or so I thought.
In the middle of last night, I began to feel a sharp pain under a rear molar that woke me from a deep sleep. Thinking that I missed a hunk of dinner meat between my teeth, I flossed again in the middle of the night. That only served to intensify the pain. Rather than thrash around and disturb Brenda, I went downstairs and watched old A-Team reruns and attributed any tooth pain to the hideous non-violence that defined that show.
I called my dentist at 7:00 AM, desperate for him to be in the office. He was and said, "Can you get here in fifteen minutes?" I told him I was outside his door already. When I told him exactly where I was experiencing pain, he recognized it as a tooth that he had already put a crown on a few years ago. I remembered discussing with him at the time the dreaded possibility of a future...(dramatic pause)...ROOT CANAL!
It didn't take long in his examination to confirm that that was the proper course of action. I've never suffered that experience before but have heard the horror stories like everyone else. So I asked him to crank up the nitrous and let's get this sumbitch done. For those who have experienced this before I think you can relate to this: Ow! OOOwwWWww. OOWWWWWwwwWWWWWWwWWWwWWW!!!!!
Have you seen the size of those friggin' needles?!. They need to scrape out all of the nerve tissues within the root canals of the tooth (hence the name) and replace it with essentially putty. It really wasn't that painful. It was more the sight of his Marathon Man instruments of maiming that kept me in a constant state of queasiness. Two hours later, he undid the latches of the straight jacket and let me go with a couple of prescriptions that I immediately filled and scarfed a few in the parking lot. Two hours in the Chair of Doom and the anaesthesia was already starting to wear off. That's when the pain actually began.
I only talk about this to point out the irony of getting a day off to relax and having to use the time to get a friggin' root canal. My dentist told me that my insurance would cover the procedure 100% so I told him I'd be back next week for two more whether I needed them or not. Like I said, laugh or cry.
Much later, after a semi-dazed day I spent loopy on pain meds, Brenda reminded me of a concert that Olivia was singing in at school a little later. I groaned inwardly and put on my brave face. I told her of course I still wanted to go. I'm not trying to give myself a pat on the back here. It was important that I be there so there was really little debate. Although the concert was happening at the same time that potential baseball history was occuring - Stephen Strasburg was making his MLB debut for the Nationals and I was anxious to watch. BTW, 14 K's in 7 innings of a 5-2 win over the Pirates. Not too shabby. I missed the first few innings but it really was an easy choice to make.
Enough already. Where's my pain meds?
Four Replies to Laugh Or Cry
Amy Austin | June 10, 2010
What Scott said.
I hate to see you hurting, too... although you're much funnier about it. ;-)
Jackie Mason | June 12, 2010
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Amy Austin | June 12, 2010
Really. I'm going to have to wait until November to take care of a cavity that I already know I have, because that's when the free dental screening that confirmed it said it would be "ready" (i.e., meet their needs) for them to fill and when they will be having another free screening.
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Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
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Scott Hardie | June 10, 2010
Hang in there. Maybe it's not too late to change the vacation days to sick days, since that's what they would have been anyway? You still need and deserve some proper time off. I hope you feel better soon.