Strike Two
by Steve West on November 5, 2010
Brenda and I attended a school meeting today to discuss the battery of assessments needed to properly develop an education plan for Olivia. After hearing the assessments from the primary teacher, occupational therapist, speech therapist and physical therapist, we got to the part that was a stunner to say the least - the school psychologist. After giving her report which mimicked the other reports to a large degree, she informed us that she felt it was time to officially put it in the record that Olivia was intellectually disabled. Prior to October of this year the term was mentally retarded.
This is something that Brenda and I have discussed amongst ourselves but it has never been part of an official report. The evidence was fairly apparent. She's two standard deviations from her same age peers academically, adaptively and cognitively. The education gap she faces is expected only to widen. I asked several questions and tried to respond to questions asked of me while Brenda wept quietly beside me. My primary concern was not in avoiding such a stigmatizing label, but to understand the implications of the term on an educational level. Her education program will remain unchanged. Her primary diagnosis is autism. This will only be more descriptive information to Olivia's future educators in Middle and High School to assist them in meeting her needs.
I withheld any emotion at the time because Olivia needed a sober listener to the facts. I cried later when thinking of this little child, who already has a huge strike against her being confronted with another burden. What can I do more? How can I help her to be an independent adult when I can't be there for her any longer? What am I not doing now? The one thing that won't change is how I feel for my baby. I am truly thankful for the heart I've been given to know that my feelings of love and obligation are unchanged since the day she was born. I love you, sweetheart.
One Reply to Strike Two
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
Not All Heroes Wear Capes
At 11:00 a.m., Brenda called me from the school where she works and told me that she had fallen and was unable to drive home. She needed me to 1) find a second driver for her car, 2) come get her and take her to urgent care and 3) make sure that Olivia is taken care of when she arrives home in an hour. Go »The Long and Winding Road
I've led my life with few regrets but those few have been big ones. I've posted a bit about my divorce but not about the reasons behind it. I'm not going to now either but I will say that Betsy deserved better at that time. Go »Real Life Comedy/Tragedy
Recent conversation with Brenda: Me: Why did you marry me? Brenda: Because you're funny, Me: I thought it was because I was good in bed. Brenda: You see? Go »Ho, Ho, Ho
I was in my car stopped at a light after going to Giant when two jokers pulled beside me and made motions for me to roll down my window. They drunkenly started shouting, "Hi, Santa! What are ya gonna bring me for Christmas this year?" Go »Blue is the Hue
We (Brenda, Lauren and me) just returned from the Kennedy Center where we saw the Blue Man Group. This was Lauren's birthday gift - her birthday was in May and that's when we ordered tickets, but the show wasn't until today. It was worth every cent, and I envy Scott who lives semi-close to their permanent theater in Orlando. Go »
Scott Hardie | November 6, 2010
Your family has been in my thoughts all day, Steve. Olivia did win something in the genetic raffle and that's having you and Brenda as wonderful parents, and I don't just mean that as some flattering platitude. You're both determined to see her get the very best support that she can, which is what this diagnosis will help to achieve. I wish the best for her and for all four of you.