I am getting so sick of commuter traffic. Forbes magazine has Washington, DC listed as #3 on the Texas Transportation Institute's Worst Cities for Traffic list and I can't disagree. The bulk of that rating comes from the deteriorating infrastructure within the city which doesn't affect me much. But the part that does affect me is the traffic in the surrounding streets like the Beltway and major arteries that are clogged with the traffic unable to penetrate the DC Star Wars traffic defense system. My commute which could previously be measured in small fractions of hours (45 minutes on a really bad day) is now routinely that, and on bad days now is well over an hour.

How much construction is required on the same two mile stretch of road? Why is lane widening and expansion happening on the outbound roads instead of inbound? Why is that pothole with the car sticking out of it ignored for so long? I'm exaggerating a little, of course. But not by much. A recent commute truly took me two hours and we're talking a distance of only 13 miles. Scott's CD of the 500 greatest songs in rock history has saved my sanity on more than one occasion. I'm actually starting to like Dylan. Go figure. Telecommuting is sure looking more and more attractive after breathing exhaust fumes for an hour, daily. That must be why I voted for Bush. I was loopy on carbon monoxide.


Two Replies to The Colossus Of Roads

Steve West | October 9, 2009
In re-reading this post, I can see how this can be interpreted as a desire to compare traffic horror stories. That wasn't the intent. We all have traffic issues in some capacity. This was a need of mine to vent on my peccadillo of the day. Friggin' traffic.

Jackie Mason | October 11, 2009
[hidden by author request]


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

I'd Pick The Kitty

This is supposedly a real newspaper clipping although I can find no reference to which paper it is and is therefore suspicious. I choose to believe it is real so I can enjoy the joke more. Go »

Back to School Night

We just got back from the titular event and I have to say, I love my kids' school. Lauren is in 3rd grade and Olivia is in the autism program in 1st grade. Lauren has one teacher and Olivia has at least three (more if you count her speech therapist, occupational therapist, and physical therapist). Go »

Like Father, Like Daughter

Or is it the other way around? I invited Lauren to take a closer look at Funeratic so she could see why I spend so much time here. I started with a few pictures, Scott - ("I know him!") Go »

Halloween Is Not For Kids

More and more, Halloween is becoming an occasion for parents to dress their kids for their own amusement and less and less for children to dress themselves as they want. I find it difficult to believe that any of these kids chose these costumes themselves and, although creative, are scary insights into the minds of their potential serial killer parents. The "rat eating brains" cap for infants disturbed me the most. Go »

Isn't That The Red Skull In That Weird Pantsuit?

My internet idol, Uncle Scoopy, refers to Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham as Skeletor Spice for her resemblance to that cartoon character. Interestingly, she resembles other cartoon characters often, depending on how she dresses. She has got to make Blackwell's "Worst Dressed" this year. Go »

Christmas Post #2: I Can See Clearly Now

Flashlights. Useful when the power goes out to help me find where I put the friggin' candles after the last time I lost friggin' power. They won't save the contents of my refrigerator but I can watch as the milk slowly curdles because I don't have TV or a computer. Go »