Weekend Grocery Shopping Equals...
by Steve West on February 26, 2010
... another encounter with Ugly On A Stick.
I had no idea she was even there until she went out of her way to shout, 'HiiiIIIiiiii' from an aisle away. It took me a few seconds to recognize that she was directing this towards me. I politely nodded back in her direction (always the gentleman) but initiated an avoidance maneuver by taking a hard left down the juice aisle. Avoiding is only delayed since she has the only register open for those of us with more than 10 items. It went something like this:
UOAS: Vegetable crackers? I mean, vegetables are actually in the crackers? That seems kinda lazy.
Me: Actually it's efficient. And I'm told they're brain food.
UOAS: Really?
Me: Yeah, my daughter eats them all the time. Eight years old and she reads Proust at bedtime.
UOAS (eyeing the small amount of grapes I chose): That's not a lot of grapes. Doesn't seem worth it.
Me: Actually, if my daughter eats too many she gets flatulent.
UOAS: What's flatulent?
Me: Cranky.
UOAS: Yeah, I get flatulent after a long shift.
Me: I have no doubt.
UOAS (Eyeing my coupons): I don't use coupons. It's too hard to keep straight how many items I have to buy to use them and I keep forgetting the expiration dates.
Me: I recommend the vegetable crackers.
So, shopping on Fridays goes on the same blacklist as Saturdays. Forewarned is forearmed as the quote goes.
Three Replies to Weekend Grocery Shopping Equals...
Scott Hardie | February 27, 2010
If shitmydadsays can become a sitcom, I'm sure this series can too. Good stuff.
Lori Lancaster | March 3, 2010
[hidden by author request]
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
Baby Boomer Blues
I overheard someone of my generation (born in the early 60's) recently say, "Kids today don't even know how to write in cursive," in a negative way. That statement got grumbled agreement from the codgers nearby. I was thinking without saying out loud, "Grandma, you can't even turn on your laptop without getting six viruses and wiring half your retirement money to a Nigerian Prince." Go »Guardians x 2
Brenda and I completed a court appearance via Zoom meeting that determined we were Olivia's official guardians. Actually the court is her guardian and we are the court's agents. We are guardians of person and property. Go »Shadowlands
As much as I admire the shadow creations, I know I wouldn't be able to stand having the pile of trash responsible sitting in the middle of my rec room. Seriously, how many have a "gallery" in their home. Go »Like Father, Like Daughter
Or is it the other way around? I invited Lauren to take a closer look at Funeratic so she could see why I spend so much time here. I started with a few pictures, Scott - ("I know him!") Go »Things Remembered
When I was in kindergarten, a girl brought a doll to class. It was so pretty that even the boys liked it. Everyone played with it but I was the one who broke it. Go »
Matthew Preston | February 27, 2010
LOL, and I don't use that acronym very often. I just bust out laughing at this post Steve to which my wife called out from downstairs, "What's so funny?!"