Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, “Surely I can’t look that old?”
I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered a tall, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 40-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy from way back then?
Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate. Hmmm…or could he????
After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Surrattsville Senior High School.
“Yes, yes, I did! I’m a Hornet,” he gleamed with pride.
“When did you graduate?” I asked.
He answered, “In 1979. Why do you ask?”
“You were in my class!” I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely. Then that ugly, old, wrinkled sumbitch asked, “What did you teach?”


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

The Real Colon Blow Cereal

Holy metaphors, Batman! This recent All-Bran commercial from Kellogg's touts its ability to aid one in shitting enough bricks to build a barbecue. Go »

Accidents Happen But This Is Ridiculous

You know, I've accidentally glued various parts of my body to odd things before. I glued my shirt to my stomach, once. But this guy takes the glue cake. Go »

Punched In The Nose With A Stinky Fist

The complete culinary compilation of Steve, Don't Eat It! at Sneeze.com. My reading was interrupted by a need for defibrillation - laughed so hard my heart stopped. Go »

Book Autopsies

An artist named Brian Dettmer has a unique talent, at least I've never seen anything like it. Book autopsies in which he pares books to various levels and displays portions of their contents, words and illustrations, for an interesting perspective. Very clever. Go »

Not All Heroes Wear Capes

At 11:00 a.m., Brenda called me from the school where she works and told me that she had fallen and was unable to drive home. She needed me to 1) find a second driver for her car, 2) come get her and take her to urgent care and 3) make sure that Olivia is taken care of when she arrives home in an hour. Go »

Carnivores R Us

Someone in my neighborhood added his own sign to a nearby STOP sign which implored people to become vegetarian by adding "eating animals". Rather than tear off his sign, I added my own which read "without steak sauce". Go »