Things stuck to the bottom of my internet shoe.

Things not to do while wearing briefs made of beef jerky. (Besides wearing briefs made of beef jerky)
Venezuelans believe children should not watch The Simpsons, offer more wholesome fare instead.
One way to nearly guarantee you'll never lose your wedding ring. I hope this is photoshopped (and when did this become an acceptable verb, anyway).

Flags of the world redefined with graphic legends.
USA
European Union
Colombia
China
Brazil
Angola

Lollapalooza 2008 lineup. Use the scroll icon on the webpage. Margot & the Nuclear So and So's, Flogging Molly, The Ting Tings, and The Weakerthans together at last.
Nerve.com's opinion of The 50 Greatest Comedy Sketches Of All Time. Video clips of most of them.
I showed this picture to my wife. She said, "Oh yes, that's our new remote."
More "Fun With Clouds"
Cool website that provides the position of the stars relevant to your geographic location on the day and time you input.
Stand-up of the week: Norm Macdonald


Three Replies to What'd I Step In?

Amy Austin | April 16, 2008
That wedding ring makes me want to hurl beef jerky. (Not speedos, just beef jerky.)

Steve West | April 16, 2008
That can't be real. Please God...

Amy Austin | April 16, 2008
I know why you'd want to believe that, but I don't know how you can... there are people who will pierce anything!


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Darth Vader Is Alive And Well And Living In My Toaster

So we got this gift from a mother-in law who shall remain nameless; a "super-mega-nuclear look at me long enough and your face will melt like that guy in Raiders toaster. There was nothing wrong with our existing toaster but when she saw it on QVC, my nameless mother-in-law had one of those have to have it moments. I've nicknamed the toaster Darth Vader because regardless of the setting, it turns the bread to the dark side every time. Go »

Halloween Post #8: Geek-O'Lanterns

Happy Halloween! Celebrate this absurdly lovable holiday with a time-consuming habit of making a jack-o-lantern. Despite the inherent silliness of carving a gourd as an act of celebration, these pumpkins are very impressive. Go »

Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid

Because it's Iran Defense Week, their military was on parade to show their strength. Ahmadinejad claimed there were no gay men in the country. Perhaps, but a lot of them resemble Lady Gaga (Scoopy joke). Go »

Not All Heroes Wear Capes

At 11:00 a.m., Brenda called me from the school where she works and told me that she had fallen and was unable to drive home. She needed me to 1) find a second driver for her car, 2) come get her and take her to urgent care and 3) make sure that Olivia is taken care of when she arrives home in an hour. Go »

Never Volunteer, Dummy

Ever since seeing Anthony Hopkins in Magic, ventriloquists and their evil dummies have given me the creeps. This guy does as well but I laughed nonetheless. I think I could sit through his entire act but could never get past the queasiness and actually volunteer like this guy did. Go »

Brenda's Diet Diary

Dear Diet Diary, As a Christmas present this year, my daughter, Lauren (what a thoughtful darling), bought me a week of personal training at the local health club. Although I am still in reasonable shape since being a high school cheerleader 40 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to give it a try. I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Juan Antonio (ooh what a name) who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. Go »