Recent conversation with Brenda:

Brenda: I really don't feel like cooking tonight. Is Chick-fil-A okay with you?

me: As long as it's not McDonald's. Chick-fil-A isn't my favorite but at least I know it's chicken.

Brenda: I'm okay with McDonald's. I kinda like their nuggets.

me: At least when I bite a Chick-fil-A nugget I see chicken. I bite a McDonald's nugget and all I see is hair, teeth, skin and bone. There's probably a good dose of squirrel parts and sawdust, too.

Brenda: But Ronald looks so happy serving them to Hamburglar.

me: Hamburglar went for hamburgers, of course - the friggin' thief. I think it's Grimace that gets sentenced to the nuggets. And what kind of name is Grimace, anyway? A grimace is that look on your face when nuggets give you Irritable Bowel Syndrome.

Brenda: A nice clown like Ronald wouldn't give you gas on purpose.

me: Oh, really. And what in the history of clowns gives you that impression? I have no doubt that if you dug deep enough you'd find out that Emmet Kelly was a heroin dealer. Bozo was probably an arms merchant.

Brenda: Clowns are not evil - they're charming.

me: John Wayne Gacy dressed up like a clown. Serial killers are even a step lower on the evil heirarchy compared to clowns.

Brenda: Don't worry - I'm not getting McDonald's.

me: Good, 'cause I'd hate to think what my laundry would look like if I contracted Irritable Bowel Syndrome.

Brenda: Just remember when you put on any "clean" laundry that yellow goes in front, brown in back.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

As The Firm Sang - I'm Radioactive

Brenda is under quarantine now because of an ablation procedure that makes her radioactive. Some stray thyroid tissue is apparently on her oncologist's hit list and he won't be denied. I'm sleeping on the couch for the next three nights and I'm doing the Daddy thing solo for the next three days. Go »

Bunch O' Stuff

Stuff that caught my eye this week. Selection of Marvel comics bloopers - check out #4 featuring Captain Barracuda. Interesting collection of literary tattoos. Go »

My Man-Crush On The Mickster Is Almost Over

How much nonsense can a guy overlook? Apparently, Mickey Rourke has found Jesus. Now, if he could only remember the church he was at so he could return him. Go »

Things Remembered

When I was in kindergarten, a girl brought a doll to class. It was so pretty that even the boys liked it. Everyone played with it but I was the one who broke it. Go »

What Goes Up...

Lauren and I went on that rock climbing event that she won during daddy/daughter bingo night. I corresponded with her principal, a nice guy who does this often. I asked him what I needed to bring besides bandages and his only recommendation was loose clothing. Go »

Love Letter and Goodbye

I had a very strange thing happen to me this morning. Overnight, I had a dream that featured my ex-wife, Betsy. I told Brenda about it and wondered what the image of Betsy represented in my subconscious that made me wake with such a clear image of her. Go »