Fast Food, Clowns & Intestinal Disease
by Steve West on March 9, 2012
Recent conversation with Brenda:
Brenda: I really don't feel like cooking tonight. Is Chick-fil-A okay with you?
me: As long as it's not McDonald's. Chick-fil-A isn't my favorite but at least I know it's chicken.
Brenda: I'm okay with McDonald's. I kinda like their nuggets.
me: At least when I bite a Chick-fil-A nugget I see chicken. I bite a McDonald's nugget and all I see is hair, teeth, skin and bone. There's probably a good dose of squirrel parts and sawdust, too.
Brenda: But Ronald looks so happy serving them to Hamburglar.
me: Hamburglar went for hamburgers, of course - the friggin' thief. I think it's Grimace that gets sentenced to the nuggets. And what kind of name is Grimace, anyway? A grimace is that look on your face when nuggets give you Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
Brenda: A nice clown like Ronald wouldn't give you gas on purpose.
me: Oh, really. And what in the history of clowns gives you that impression? I have no doubt that if you dug deep enough you'd find out that Emmet Kelly was a heroin dealer. Bozo was probably an arms merchant.
Brenda: Clowns are not evil - they're charming.
me: John Wayne Gacy dressed up like a clown. Serial killers are even a step lower on the evil heirarchy compared to clowns.
Brenda: Don't worry - I'm not getting McDonald's.
me: Good, 'cause I'd hate to think what my laundry would look like if I contracted Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
Brenda: Just remember when you put on any "clean" laundry that yellow goes in front, brown in back.
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
GooCon: Siesta Key
What can I say? It was the best time ever! Future GooCons now have a standard that will be difficult to surpass. Go »First Post
Rather than clog the TC Board with things that mostly interest me exclusively, this seemed a more appropriate avenue. I'll probably post something nearly every day as I'm online daily just surfin' & lookin' for weird stuff. For example, how else would I have ever known of these products if I hadn't seen them using "strange" in a search string? Go »Inspiration
Go »I'm Down To My Socks... It's Posting Time.
Flight of the Conchords rule! 2 Quarts of Tanning Lotion, Stat! Lots of stuff spilled in the road by trucks. Go »Lauren Peeks Into Imelda's Closet
Lauren is at Summer Camp until tomorrow and while she was gone, I sent her a card. It's become traditional for the card to be "shoe-themed". This year, the outside of the card featured a picture of the president awarding her a prize. Go »
