Fast Food, Clowns & Intestinal Disease
by Steve West on March 9, 2012
Recent conversation with Brenda:
Brenda: I really don't feel like cooking tonight. Is Chick-fil-A okay with you?
me: As long as it's not McDonald's. Chick-fil-A isn't my favorite but at least I know it's chicken.
Brenda: I'm okay with McDonald's. I kinda like their nuggets.
me: At least when I bite a Chick-fil-A nugget I see chicken. I bite a McDonald's nugget and all I see is hair, teeth, skin and bone. There's probably a good dose of squirrel parts and sawdust, too.
Brenda: But Ronald looks so happy serving them to Hamburglar.
me: Hamburglar went for hamburgers, of course - the friggin' thief. I think it's Grimace that gets sentenced to the nuggets. And what kind of name is Grimace, anyway? A grimace is that look on your face when nuggets give you Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
Brenda: A nice clown like Ronald wouldn't give you gas on purpose.
me: Oh, really. And what in the history of clowns gives you that impression? I have no doubt that if you dug deep enough you'd find out that Emmet Kelly was a heroin dealer. Bozo was probably an arms merchant.
Brenda: Clowns are not evil - they're charming.
me: John Wayne Gacy dressed up like a clown. Serial killers are even a step lower on the evil heirarchy compared to clowns.
Brenda: Don't worry - I'm not getting McDonald's.
me: Good, 'cause I'd hate to think what my laundry would look like if I contracted Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
Brenda: Just remember when you put on any "clean" laundry that yellow goes in front, brown in back.
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
It's My Honor to Be Her Father
I just returned from Lauren"s surprise wedding shower. She was completely awed. She came on the pretense of picking up a couch for her apartment in North Dakota. Go »My Faith in Humanity is Restored
This is a true story I saw on a travel blog website. Late one night, a woman and her husband received the tragic news that their three-year-old grandson in Denver had been murdered by their daughter’s live-in boyfriend. The boy was being taken off life support at 9 o’clock that evening and his parents opted for organ donation which would take place immediately upon his passing. Go »It's That Time Of Year
Snow time. I don't live in Fargo so I defer to Denise and others for even more horrible snow stories. But the forecast yesterday was for anywhere between 6 and 32 inches of snow depending on a whole bunch of meteorological variables and other mysteries. Go »The Miracle Of Marlboro
I'm old enough to remember cigarette ads on television. Most were (like all ads) ridiculously exaggerated concerning the adventures in coolness their product would bring. But these tobacco ads are intrinsically evil when promoting a product the manufacturers knew were killing people. Go »Like Father, Like Daughter
Or is it the other way around? I invited Lauren to take a closer look at Funeratic so she could see why I spend so much time here. I started with a few pictures, Scott - ("I know him!") Go »
