Fast Food, Clowns & Intestinal Disease
by Steve West on March 9, 2012
Recent conversation with Brenda:
Brenda: I really don't feel like cooking tonight. Is Chick-fil-A okay with you?
me: As long as it's not McDonald's. Chick-fil-A isn't my favorite but at least I know it's chicken.
Brenda: I'm okay with McDonald's. I kinda like their nuggets.
me: At least when I bite a Chick-fil-A nugget I see chicken. I bite a McDonald's nugget and all I see is hair, teeth, skin and bone. There's probably a good dose of squirrel parts and sawdust, too.
Brenda: But Ronald looks so happy serving them to Hamburglar.
me: Hamburglar went for hamburgers, of course - the friggin' thief. I think it's Grimace that gets sentenced to the nuggets. And what kind of name is Grimace, anyway? A grimace is that look on your face when nuggets give you Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
Brenda: A nice clown like Ronald wouldn't give you gas on purpose.
me: Oh, really. And what in the history of clowns gives you that impression? I have no doubt that if you dug deep enough you'd find out that Emmet Kelly was a heroin dealer. Bozo was probably an arms merchant.
Brenda: Clowns are not evil - they're charming.
me: John Wayne Gacy dressed up like a clown. Serial killers are even a step lower on the evil heirarchy compared to clowns.
Brenda: Don't worry - I'm not getting McDonald's.
me: Good, 'cause I'd hate to think what my laundry would look like if I contracted Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
Brenda: Just remember when you put on any "clean" laundry that yellow goes in front, brown in back.
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
Not All Heroes Wear Capes
At 11:00 a.m., Brenda called me from the school where she works and told me that she had fallen and was unable to drive home. She needed me to 1) find a second driver for her car, 2) come get her and take her to urgent care and 3) make sure that Olivia is taken care of when she arrives home in an hour. Go »I Am A Marketing Genius
Recent conversation with Brenda: me: I’m thinking of buying that 5-hour energy stuff. Brenda: Think it’ll be worth it? me: Depends on what it costs – that whole dollars to extra push-ups ratio. Go »Stay-cation Week IV
Brenda had a minor medical procedure today so we dropped the girls at Grandma's house for the majority of the day. Got through the procedure and had a nice lunch (just the two of us) at a local restaurant. I had a steak sandwich that was very tasty except it was served on ciabatta bread. Go »Christmas Post #17: Gadgets &Stuff
Cool collection of unusual stuff that would make memorable gifts. I swear I'd love to get my wife that toaster but I've heard too many horror stories of what happens to husbands who purchase appliances for their wives for Christmas. Think I'll wait for Valentine's Day. Go »Have I Mentioned How Much I Love My Wife?
I got a surprise visit from Amy Austin today. She was passing through Maryland on her way to Florida and took the time to call me from the road. I was thrilled that she thought of me being in the area and invited her to visit for what could only be a brief visit. Go »
