Recent conversation with Brenda:

Brenda: I really don't feel like cooking tonight. Is Chick-fil-A okay with you?

me: As long as it's not McDonald's. Chick-fil-A isn't my favorite but at least I know it's chicken.

Brenda: I'm okay with McDonald's. I kinda like their nuggets.

me: At least when I bite a Chick-fil-A nugget I see chicken. I bite a McDonald's nugget and all I see is hair, teeth, skin and bone. There's probably a good dose of squirrel parts and sawdust, too.

Brenda: But Ronald looks so happy serving them to Hamburglar.

me: Hamburglar went for hamburgers, of course - the friggin' thief. I think it's Grimace that gets sentenced to the nuggets. And what kind of name is Grimace, anyway? A grimace is that look on your face when nuggets give you Irritable Bowel Syndrome.

Brenda: A nice clown like Ronald wouldn't give you gas on purpose.

me: Oh, really. And what in the history of clowns gives you that impression? I have no doubt that if you dug deep enough you'd find out that Emmet Kelly was a heroin dealer. Bozo was probably an arms merchant.

Brenda: Clowns are not evil - they're charming.

me: John Wayne Gacy dressed up like a clown. Serial killers are even a step lower on the evil heirarchy compared to clowns.

Brenda: Don't worry - I'm not getting McDonald's.

me: Good, 'cause I'd hate to think what my laundry would look like if I contracted Irritable Bowel Syndrome.

Brenda: Just remember when you put on any "clean" laundry that yellow goes in front, brown in back.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Like Mother Teresa, Only Better

If you recognize the title of this post, then you are already familiar with Jenny Lawson, aka The Bloggess. I had the opportunity to meet her, briefly, at the Barnes & Noble book signing in Annapolis this weekend. She was larger than life and incredibly funny as she adlibbed before reading a selection from her book, Let's Pretend This Never Happened. Go »

Snowmageddonpocalypse 2016

Snowmageddonpocalypse 2016.Two feet of snow is a record for this date in DC? Go figure. Go »

Where's The Winch?

We took the girls sailing today. Unlike last year, Olivia did not throw a winch handle overboard because of our diligence in preventing it. The sailing is still free because of the heart of the owner who offers this once a month during the summer. Go »

Creepy Halloween Lodgings

These creepy places to stay during a Halloween vacation may be too late to consider this year but they're not going anywhere soon so keep them in mind for the future. You can't stay in all of these places but for those that you can, there's that extra layer of creepiness. The Haunted Hull House in Chicago. Go »

Barbie Gets Implants

In the early ‘90’s, I heard a stand-up routine by Cathy Ladman in which she was buying a Barbie doll as a birthday present for her niece. She’s looking at the doll displays and her eye catches a “Gift-Giving Ken”. She says, I really don’t think this is gonna prepare her for adult relationships. Go »

Special Olympics

"Special Olympics athletes are spokespersons for freedom itself - they ask for the freedom to live, the freedom to belong, the freedom to contribute, the freedom to have a chance. And, of all the values that unite and inspire us to seek a better world, no value holds a higher place than the value of freedom." - Eunice Kennedy Shriver Olivia's participation in today's Special Olympics was incredibly uplifting for me and Brenda. Go »