Fast Food, Clowns & Intestinal Disease
by Steve West on March 9, 2012

Recent conversation with Brenda:
Brenda: I really don't feel like cooking tonight. Is Chick-fil-A okay with you?
me: As long as it's not McDonald's. Chick-fil-A isn't my favorite but at least I know it's chicken.
Brenda: I'm okay with McDonald's. I kinda like their nuggets.
me: At least when I bite a Chick-fil-A nugget I see chicken. I bite a McDonald's nugget and all I see is hair, teeth, skin and bone. There's probably a good dose of squirrel parts and sawdust, too.
Brenda: But Ronald looks so happy serving them to Hamburglar.
me: Hamburglar went for hamburgers, of course - the friggin' thief. I think it's Grimace that gets sentenced to the nuggets. And what kind of name is Grimace, anyway? A grimace is that look on your face when nuggets give you Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
Brenda: A nice clown like Ronald wouldn't give you gas on purpose.
me: Oh, really. And what in the history of clowns gives you that impression? I have no doubt that if you dug deep enough you'd find out that Emmet Kelly was a heroin dealer. Bozo was probably an arms merchant.
Brenda: Clowns are not evil - they're charming.
me: John Wayne Gacy dressed up like a clown. Serial killers are even a step lower on the evil heirarchy compared to clowns.
Brenda: Don't worry - I'm not getting McDonald's.
me: Good, 'cause I'd hate to think what my laundry would look like if I contracted Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
Brenda: Just remember when you put on any "clean" laundry that yellow goes in front, brown in back.
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Rock Block Parallel #2: Food Fight
To satisfy your gustatory desires, please review the following board of fare. Everything tastes better with chocolate...well almost everything. Go »
Halloween Is For The Dogs
Last year for Halloween, I took all of Lauren's stuffed dogs and sewed their mouths to parts of my shirt and pants (with fake bleeding cuts on my arms and face) and went as an attack dog trainer. This year, I need to adopt or at least rent a dog so I can dress it like this for Halloween. Holy Kibbles & Bits Or this... Go »
Vanity Plates
Although a few are a little crude, many of these vanity plates are clever and funny. I've never had a desire to acquire one myself but I do admire a good one when I see it on the road. My personal favorite is "PLAN AHE". Go »
Vacation Week VI
I think leaving the state qualifies this as a vacation trip. We went to Pennsylvania and enjoyed ourselves at Hershey Park in Hershey, PA. The temperature was about 80 degrees (tolerable and pleasant) therefore the water was about 70 degrees tops (actually quite chilly). Go »
The Long and Winding Road
I've led my life with few regrets but those few have been big ones. I've posted a bit about my divorce but not about the reasons behind it. I'm not going to now either but I will say that Betsy deserved better at that time. Go »