Recent conversation with Brenda:

Brenda: Did I ever tell you I posed nude for an art class?

Me: Really?! (after recovering from shock) I had a college friend who posed for some extra money.

Brenda: Oh, I didn't get paid. They didn't ask me to do it. And I'm pretty sure they were making ceramic bowls, not painting.

Me: Then why did you do it?

Brenda: Out of the goodness of my heart.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Just My Lucky Day, I Guess

Weekly shopping trips have been largely uneventful of late because of the absence of you know who, UOAS. She kind of startled me with her presence at the Safeway tonight and I wondered if God specifically was observing my sense of satisfaction over her MIA status. She noted my surprised expression and commented, "Long time no see!" Go »

Woman Attacks Karaoke Singer

A woman attacked a karaoke singer while he was singing Coldplay. A similar thing happened to me once. I was pretty drunk and I started a fight with some guy singing Dave Matthews. Go »

Sages And Fools

UOAS has been wonderfully absent from the grocery for the last month. Paradise only lasts so long, however. UOAS: (Eyeing the 3 lbs of sirloins on sweet sale) That's a lot of steaks, having a barbecue? Go »

The Reunion

Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, “Surely I can’t look that old?” I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma which bore his full name. Go »

Accidents Happen But This Is Ridiculous

You know, I've accidentally glued various parts of my body to odd things before. I glued my shirt to my stomach, once. But this guy takes the glue cake. Go »

These People Really Hate Tomatoes

Random quote: "I accedentially (sic) ate a cherry tomato in my salad once,and now I worship satan." I personally like tomatoes and find it incredible that anyone can have such passion in either direction; love or hate. About tomatoes, I mean. Go »