WLW: Can't
by Scott Hardie on December 6, 2007
"Can't" is a word that fat people tell ourselves a lot after so many failed diets: We can't lose the weight, we can't succeed. Hearing it from a doctor would seem inconsequential. But it still hurts.
"I intend to lose the weight through diet and exercise–"
"You can't," the doctor interrupted. "You're way past that point. You're about to enter your thirties, where it gets harder. In your forties it gets even worse. It can't be done now."
Thank goodness I didn't verbalize the obscene reaction in my head. This is the doctor who has been pushing for beriatric surgery, either the dangerous gastric bypass or the relatively safer lap-band procedure, both of which seem to me like jumping prematurely to the last resort.
Here's what I fail to get. The lap band restricts your stomach capacity, forcing you to eat less, right? It doesn't magically make pounds disappear from your body. The pounds disappear because your food intake is restricted, and because you're supposed to exercise in conjunction with it. So, why does a lowered metabolism in my thirties mean that a lap band would succeed, where the same amount of restricted diet and exercise without the lap band would fail? The metabolism is irrelevant in a comparison of the two methods, unless there's more to the procedure that I don't know about.
What the real issue is, and has always been, is my self-control. I have failed to keep myself on diets and exercise plans in the past. I'm a dangerously self-indulgent sucker for my own id. But I have to believe, and do believe, that this time will be different, because for the first time, I'm doing it with the supervision of a doctor (obviously not this one) and a psychologist, and because the dangers to my health are now palpable. I'm motivated to make this happen. Your "can't" is all the breakfast I need.
Ten Replies to WLW: Can't
Scott Hardie | December 6, 2007
Thank you. :-)
Kelly Lee | December 6, 2007
Totally rooting for you.
Anna Gregoline | December 6, 2007
Rooting for you! Keep us updated.
I agree with you about surgery. Surgery for ANYTHING is a last resort. Why jump to it immediately? Especially since you have a medical support system now?
Jackie Mason | December 6, 2007
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Aaron Shurtleff | December 6, 2007
I just want to say (I mean besides I'm rooting for you, obviously!) that I have a story to relate, which you may find interesting. After I got my B.S., my advisor asked me what I was going to do with myself. When I told him I was thinking about grad school, he said to me, "I don't think you should. You're not cut out for graduate work." I was so pissed at him for saying that to me that I started applying for grad schools that evening. Long story short, after I got by M.S., I went back to my first college to see him, to show him that I could do it. No reaction. He didn't even remember telling me he thought I couldn't do it. The point is this: If you're going to do this, do it for you. If you do it to prove the doctor wrong, you'll find that the doctor's not going to give two hoots about whether you prove him wrong or not, and then you'll just feel cheated. Or at least I did. And I did it!! You can do it, too!
Amy Austin | December 7, 2007
Hmmm... could it be that this doctor and Aaron's advisor actually share the same twisted methodology when it comes to motivation??? Sort of a reverse psychology kind of tactic...?
At any rate, good on you, Aaron, for succeeding in spite of it... and good on you, too, Scott, for being determined to do the same -- count me among your cheerleaders! ;-)
Russ Wilhelm | December 7, 2007
The lap belt is designed to make you feel fuller while eating less, which is great if you eat only to satisfy your hunger. But if you eat for psycological reasons, the pleasure of food itself, then I think it's a battle of wills between you and science.
Perhaps what your doctor is trying to say that the older you get, the habits you've formed are harder to break, and he lacks faith. So have faith enough for the both of you. It's not impssible to change the habits (notice I didn't say break) that brought you to this point. You just need to be conscience of those habits and modify your behaviour to them. Diet and exercise are the best method.
Side note of self reflection: If it were me, rather then surgery, I would opt to go on something like the Jenny Craig diet and do my best to follow it to a tee. I might be hungry for a while, but I think it's an easy way to learn portion control, and would be more effective than the belt, which would give me a false sense of "I don't have to watch what I eat, the belt does that for me."
Self-awareness. Do it the way you planned, now that you are aware of the need to lose the weight, the results of doing it on your own will tell you if it's enough or not, and guide you to make the best decision for "you".
Jackie Mason | December 7, 2007
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Denise Sawicki | December 7, 2007
Hi Scott, I like reading about your progress with this and I'm glad you're determined to prove your doctor wrong. I just don't have a heck of a lot to say that's really original compared to what everyone else is saying :-).
Re Aaron's story, why don't profs keep their opinions on this stuff to themselves? Mine practically bullied me into going to grad school despite my saying repeatedly I didn't want to :-P I proved them wrong by dropping out. Though I guess *that* is not an encouraging message to Scott whatsoever! :-P
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The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »
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Steve West | December 6, 2007
Thanks for the updates. A lot of us, if not all, are rooting for you.