Today's junk-mail pitch from Visa: "Most credit card companies know you as a number. Sean, we know you by name."


Six Replies to Give Me a Little Credit Here

Lori Lancaster | August 4, 2007
[hidden by author request]

Matthew Preston | August 4, 2007
Heheh! I'm curious though, would you have signed up if they called you "Scott"?

Tony Peters | August 4, 2007
yes well my home phone number is listed under my cat's names, Zipper and Sketch Peters. In the last month Zipper's credit has gotten very good....she is eligible for a $500,000 home loan, in addition to receiving Visa, Discover, AMEX and Diners club cards in the mail (real cards not fake ones) we have taken to shutting our computers down in fear that the little furball might try to use her credit cards on "Kitty Porn"

Lori Lancaster | August 4, 2007
[hidden by author request]

Amy Austin | August 5, 2007
Heheheh... yeah, I started using my other family members' names, too (though not as funny as "Sketch" or "Zipper") for filling out questionable fields online ever since the last time you mentioned this brilliant practice.

Jackie Mason | August 5, 2007
[hidden by author request]


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

When Erik Met Matthew

The spark for the idea came during the pandemic, when we here on Funeratic decided to try some Zoom conversations and games. Two people who I admire for (among other things) their ability to converse quickly and freely with strangers and to get along instantly with seemingly anyone, Erik Bates and Matthew Preston, talked to each other for the first time and of course they hit it off immediately. I knew I wasn't imagining it, because other people on the call remarked on it. Go »

Obama Criticizes Obama Over Rising Gas Prices

I was going to share this fake news article that I drafted in a chat with friends...Stopped at a DC-area gas station to fill up his motorcade, President Obama groaned as he watched the numbers climbing ever higher on the pump. "God, why don't I get off my ass and do something about the price of gas?" Go »

R.I.P. Mom

You were so still in your bed when I could finally sit down beside you, a few hours after the facility notified me that you had died. I hadn't seen you be that peaceful in years, your eyes not scanning the room for clues, your hands not turning over each object in front of you for endlessly repeated examination. I whispered to you the most urgent and most precious things I had to say, the secrets and atonements and wishes foremost on my mind. Go »

Survivor Guilty

As a longtime Survivor viewer, I've been bothered by its slow decline. Some of the show's problems are apparent on its surface, like Jeff Probst's appalling gender bias and the show's overemphasis on tacky "themes" for the season. But I got to thinking about what's wrong under the surface, on a conceptual level. Go »

The Honeymoon

After our wedding, it was time for Kelly and I to enjoy our honeymoon: Ten days in Los Angeles, San Francisco, and the coastline between them. We (really I, with Kelly's signoff) spent weeks researching and scheduling to pull it off, and the effort was definitely worth it, as we had ten days of bliss. We rode new rides at Disneyland, toured a movie studio and historic ship, saw whales and dolphins up close, ate lunch atop a mountain, hiked among the redwoods, explored Chinatown and Alcatraz, and along the way ate some amazing food. Go »

Flow Charts

Meet the marriage of rap music and Microsoft Office: (link) Why do I have the feeling Herbert Kornfeld made some of these? Thanks, Marlon. Go »