Insider Tips

Scott Hardie | October 10, 2007
The collective user body around here has held some interesting jobs over the years. Share some of the insider tips that might be useful for someone patronizing your former places of business – or your current one, if it won't get you in trouble.

Scott Hardie | October 10, 2007
From my jobs at Taco Bell:

- Fire Sauce not hot enough for you? Ask for the Green Sauce. It's this little-known, atomic-hot concoction they keep under the counter, available by request only. I watched friends burn their mouths on it, but of course I never tried it myself. :-)

- If your bill comes out to a multiple of five plus change, put in an extra dollar. For instance, if your bill comes to $15.34, avoid the temptation to hand over a twenty, and hand them $21 instead. You'll get back a five and change instead of four singles and change.

- For better service at the drive-thru menu, make sure they know that you've arrived, then turn off your engine. They don't try to mess up your order; it's just very hard to hear sometimes, especially for vans, trucks, and SUVs where the raised engine is so close to the microphone.

- I know some people who are afraid to customize their order and risk having their food spit into out of resentment, but that doesn't happen. Working the food line means robotically preparing whatever the screen tells you to prepare, regardless of how simple or complicated it is, so nobody cares. Just last week, I ordered some chicken fiesta burritos minus cheese, minus rice, minus salsa, plus three-cheese blend, plus onions, plus sour cream, and melted in the steamer. It took the cashier a second to record it all at the register, but nobody batted an eyelash. (Then again, one guy who has the fear of spit-in food used to work at a Burger King and a Dairy Queen, so I wonder what went on in their kitchens?)

- This isn't really a tip, but insider info: Taco Bell does not serve Grade D meat. It's a persistent urban legend that goes hand-in-hand with the persistent urban legend that Mexican food gives you indigestion (as if Taco Bell is really Mexican), but it's not true. Grade A meat is the only grade that can legally be served for human consumption. Do you really think a major international corporation like Taco Bell is going to break a law that will put them out of business immediately if caught? Be not afraid.

Aaron Shurtleff | October 10, 2007
Actually, I recently read in the news that Taco Bell is opening a store in Mexico for the first time. That makes it mexican, as of now! ;)

I have to think about tips and get back to you all.

Scott Hardie | October 10, 2007
I'm happy reading short lists of 1-2 items too; doesn't have to be long. My list is made up of ideas I've been carrying around for years, now expressed in this format after a conversation at work last week.

Aaron Shurtleff | October 10, 2007
Tips from Agribusiness

1) Wash your produce!!! I don't care where you got it from. If you didn't grow it yourself, and you can't account for where it's been for it's entire life, wash before you eat it. I've seen stray dogs in rural areas, and I promise you they pee on anything standing upright, so don't think that "Oh, it's organic, nothing on it will hurt me!" Stuff happens out there, and washing your fruits and veggies is the best things you can do, and it doesn't take that long. I shudder when I see people just grab something off a plant and stick it in their mouth without knowing where it's been.

2) Is it organic? Is it? Do you know how many different people there are that certify something as organic? Do you know how many different standards of organic there are? Do you know there are products in the marketplace that are pretty harmful to you, that, due to their being derived from natural sources, can be applied to produce without losing the organic label (in some cases...as I said, the definition of what is organic can be loose or rigid, depending on who's talking)? Buying organic produce is, without a doubt, a great option, but don't depend on that meaning your food is safe. And especially don't believe that these farmers won't try to get away with something. There are some sketchy individuals out there, same as in any field. That friendly guy at the farmer's market who swears he never uses any chemicals isn't your friend, and he wants your money, and it's in his best interest to make that sale, not necessarily be honest.

3) Organic produce costs a lot, because the farmer has to plant a lot of plants, and due to insects, disease, etc, he's not going to get as big of a yield as the farmer next door, who sprays his field weekly with different products. He needs to get his money back, too. It's not that they actually just want to charge you more money...the farmers actually need to charge more.

4) No one's trying to kill you with pesticides. They are well tested, and the dangers are well known. They have pre-harvest intervals, which is the amount of time which has to pass after spraying before you can legally harvest the crops, which takes into account the potential toxicity and the breakdown time of the active ingredients in the products. They are as safe as we can make them, and still get any benefit from using them, and we're trying to make them safer every day. You don't have to be afraid of pesticides... You need to be afraid of the guys who ignore the rules, and use the products improperly. Almost all farmers aren't going to do the right thing, and there are people who check to make sure the others are taken out of business in a hurry. You don't have to be afraid of chemicals in your produce.

I don't know that any of that is helpful to anyone, but... I see a lot of fear of pesticides, and over-confidence in the organic label. Neither one is very wise, although you also can't be blind to the truths behind either of them either.

Aaron Shurtleff | October 10, 2007
Tips from Target

1) Every time you spend a certain amount of money, the register tells the cashier to ask if you want to apply for the Target Red Card (a credit card). The cashier will get in trouble if he/she ignores it. Target saves money if you use their credit card (they don't have to pay a fee to other banks...I don't know the whole of the fee and where it comes from, but that's what we are told) instead of another places. No amount of complaining or getting mad at the cashier will make them not ask if you want the Target Card. That's a big complaint at Target, and it's one that can't be helped.

2) Target isn't going to institute a lay-away plan. Everyone asks for it, usually around the holidays. It's not going to happen.

3) Target does not allow any kind of solicitation in their parking lots. This is for the convenience of the guests (it's the Target slang for the customers), and Target has taken the "If we let one do it, we have to let everyone do it, so no one gets to do it" policy. This usually becomes an issue around the holidays, since they do not allow the Salvation Army to set up their buckets and ring their bells. It a corporation policy, and complaining to the local store won't change that. They'll send the complaint up the chain, but that's all we can do.

4) Be nice. The Guest Service area, especially. The clerks at the service desk have a little bit of leeway in helping you out, and the more angry you get, and the more you yell and carry on and threaten, the less they'll do to help you out. And once you start, it follows you. You might not see it, but as soon as you get testy, the word is passed up, and the manager already knows about it before he or she gets there. You can try being nicer when it's the manager, but they'll know you were rude earlier.

5) If you get the opportunity to fill out an on-line survey, and you want to see change, fill it out. As an example, I have seen lots of people complain about the rickety, noisy carts at the store I work at. We tell our managers about the complaints, they move them along, nothing seems to happen. When the on-line surveys come back, and a lot of people mention the poor condition of our carts, our store got new carts. Those on-line surveys get results faster than complaining to the store.

6) Remember that Target is a corporation. We can't make all the changes you suggest locally, we have to get permission from higher up the ladder. For example, a lot of people complain that they can't find help on the sales floor, or that there are never enough registers open when they want to check out. Well, Target likes to turn a profit, and having a lot of cashiers sitting around, doing nothing, pulling in a paycheck is not cost-effective. So, they try to have as few as possible, based on how busy we are throughout the day. If they need extra help at the registers, they pull people of the salesfloor, so then they're short out there. So, yeah, we know we need to have more people, but the budget only allows for what we have there. The store can't just bring people in, we need to go through the proper channels. Don't take it out on us, OK?

7) I can't talk about anything security related (obviously), but really, the best tip is just think about it. If the alarm goes off, just stop and let the uniformed folks check to see what the problem is. Most of the time, it's the register messing up, or a cashier error. We're not targetting you. We don't discriminate, and I promise you that if there was a employee that did that, they are corrected very quickly. I understand that you might be in a hurry, but it just takes a second or two. And if you don't stop, we have to assume you did it for a reason, and that's a lot of work and hassle on our side (and possibly yours...think about it).

8) Save your damn receipt! I can't stress how much more pleasant Target's return policy is if you do. If you don't have a receipt, pretty much your options are limited.

Amy Austin | October 10, 2007
Wow, Aaron -- do anything else today? ;-) (Seriously, though... good tips.)

We're not targetting you. HAHAHAHAHA!

Erik Bates | October 10, 2007
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Kelly Lee | October 10, 2007
Tips on a job I can't tell you about, legally:

If it walks like a zombie, drools like a zombie, acts like a zombie, is as intelligent as a zombie, moans like a zombie, and when it bites you, it doesn't target your brain, then it's not a zombie. In fact, bringing a chainsaw to work to rid your workplace of "zombie infestation" is more than likely bound to get you fired.

Poor, poor, Zombie McHippa. I forgot he was a handicapped kid.

Jackie Mason | October 12, 2007
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Jackie Mason | October 17, 2007
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Tony Peters | October 17, 2007
Photographs....something I learned while attending a few factory schools for 1 hour photolabs in Japan.

Roughly 65% of the one hour photolabs in the USA use Noritsu machines and Kodak chemistry and paper...this is important because Kodak balances their product for white people and southwest landscapes (scenes with a lot of red) Conversely Fuji one hour photolabs are balanced for greens and skin complexions not white. All of this has to do with old fashioned "WET" processors. Dry processors that use high end ink jet printer linked to a Consumer workstation (for digital camera's only) are much more what you see is what you get (wysiwyg) this can and does lead to people screw up their photos. Resist the urge to deviate too much from the presets

Aaron Shurtleff | October 18, 2007
Well, I've never seen an apple get pissed on... :) It's possible, not surely not probable.

Amy Austin | October 18, 2007
Visual involving a ladder and a migrant worker... thanks.

Aaron Shurtleff | October 18, 2007
Well, I was thinking more of someone who picked up apples that had fallen from the tree, instead of picking them off the tree, but I guess your way works, too, Amy.

Jackie Mason | October 19, 2007
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Amy Austin | October 19, 2007
LOL

Aaron Shurtleff | October 19, 2007
And I imagine it said in the same tone as the classic, "This is a job for Underdog!!" :)

[EDIT] Wait! No, it's "There's no need to fear! UNDERDOG is here!"

Why am I stuck on Underdog today??