When There's Not a Dog Handy...

Erik Bates | December 6, 2006
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Denise Sawicki | December 6, 2006
Pretty funny :). I wouldn't want to be that lady. Your link needs reformatting though.

Jackie Mason | December 7, 2006
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Tony Peters | December 7, 2006
try this I think it's what you talking about...being a guy is nice we can take credit instead of trying to shift blame

Amy Austin | December 7, 2006
They didn't let her back on the plane. That's just plain (haha) fucked up. I'm so sick of the ways of airlines/airports these days. More giving up on the magic bullets and settling for shitty sleight of hand -- I'm not too impressed by their illusions of security, either.

Tony Peters | December 7, 2006
New Xray Machines used in Arizona has many saying that they won't be visiting that state anytime soon

Scott Hardie | December 8, 2006
Wait, some people actually do light a match? I thought that was just an old wives tale. What are people supposed to think when they smell a burnt match?

Similar story, even more dramatic.

Amy Austin | December 8, 2006
Horrible. Horrifying. Humiliating. Sheer and utter mortification.

What I truly want to say right now is that I hate the government. That isn't an incredibly loaded statement, being that I have worked for it a number of years now... but I am scared that just maybe one day, I may be so unfortunate as to drop my cell phone or some other such nonsense into an airplane lavatory, and then... God forbid some bureaucratic dullard has to confiscate my laptop and run an online search of my name, whereby they can read every single TC rant I've ever posted (and I *know* there's some anti-government sentiment in there somewhere... I'm just sure that somebody's brain child could try to classify it as "hate propaganda"!) -- oh... my... (f'ing) God.

To be honest, I no longer feel that terrorists are the reason to be afraid to fly... we terrorize ourselves just fine!!!

Aaron Shurtleff | December 8, 2006
But the second story is from Canada, I believe...how many country's governments have you worked for, Amy? :)

Personally, while I think the story (the first one..that started the thread) is embarrassing, what should the passengers have done? If I'm on a plane, and I'm smelling burning matches (or burning anything for that matter), I'm gonna let the flight attendants know, and I'm going to expect them to take my concerns seriously. I'm sorry some lady has a medical condition that makes her fart, you don't need to light matches on a flight.

And I don't think I would have let her back on that flight either. I wouldn't have further banned her, which I think the airline is planning to do (and she'll probably end up on a list...). I've had to be inconvenienced for doing stupid things. She can too. She can't help the gas, but she can deal with it better.

Tony Peters | December 8, 2006
Rumor has it that the women in question has a colostomy bag which if true would make the airlines stupid for banning her


...oh and I think that AMY is ranting about the new XRAY machines I mentioned further up the page...most women I know who have seen them are apopletic about those machines...

Anna Gregoline | December 8, 2006
Why would that be stupid of them to ban her for lighting a match on an airborne airplane?!?! I hope she is banned, that is totally idiotic. And no, it wasn't "accidental." She lit a match. Period. Endangering the lives of everyone on board. I do not want people starting open flames on my airplane.

Although these days I avoid flying at all costs. It's not worth the money or the hassle.

I don't mind the new xray machines though. Shrug.

Tony Peters | December 8, 2006
come on folks regardless of the whole shoe bomber thing it's a damn match and if the medical part is true well I'm sure she's more embarrassed about the smell than she was about getting tossed from the plane, I mean she's carrying a bag of crap around.

As someone who flies fairly regularly I am more irritated by the kneejerk security restricions here in the states than I am by the functional and tested restrictions in place elsewhere in the world.

Michael Paul Cote | December 8, 2006
A coworker just told me that his son was flying back from the chilly northeast, and had put handcream on his hands. It set off the alarm (glycerine) and he was pulled, questioned, embarrassed and put on "the list". Go figure.

Amy Austin | December 8, 2006
See... that's the kind of shit I'm talking about here -- it's absurd. And the match? Well, it's barely yet been 20 years since smoking was banned on airplanes... so how do you suppose they got lit -- magic? It wasn't considered all that life-threatening back then (second-hand smoke aside)... in fact, I'm pretty sure that if the danger of lit matches was addressed at all, it was only as a cover for the real issue: the debut of "political correctness" and beginning of the end for cigarette smokers. I do agree that it's no longer worth the money or the hassle, though... that's my point. And no, Tony, my rant wasn't about the x-ray machines... though that just adds insult to insult. It was about the poor bastard with the crap-covered Ipod (as if that weren't punishment enough!) getting the Spanish (French-Canadian? ;-D) Inquisition. And Aaron... what, like you can't see that happening here, too??? (What I really wonder is what grounds they had for searching his laptop... let alone for "child pornography" -- wtf does that have to do with having accidentally dropped your pricey entertainment gear in the WC... even if it really was "a suspicious device"???)

Aaron Shurtleff | December 9, 2006
Well, of course I could see it happening here...it just didn't...yet. I just wondered if you had worked for the Canadian government. I'm nosy. :)

And you don't see the link between iPods and child pornography?! Well, let me spell it out for you:

iPod=music (although it could be a video iPod, or it could be loaded with self-help programs and talk radio programs, let's just say it's music)

Music=the devil (this has been established many times throughout history, most recently in the movie "Waterboy", where music, as well as Foosball, was shown to be the devil)

devil=Satan=satanism (by definition)

satanism=peace wreaths (I discuss this in a different TC topic, but it still holds true here)

And of course, I think we all know that "peace wreath" is a slang term in child pornography circles for a disgusting act which I will not, for the purpose of good taste, go into. It's as plain as the nose on your face, if you know where to look!!!

Plus, he played role playing games on his computer. That alone makes him a possible terrorist.

Scott Hardie | December 9, 2006
None of us are going to be able to fly anywhere after this.

Tony Peters | December 9, 2006
good one Aaron though I would have started from role playing games=geek=hangs around with little boys=pedofile=child porn...much quicker conection regardless if it's actually true that is I'm sure what the canadien authorities did.

I think I wrote a rant about US immigration and customs authorities at somepoint in the last month...I made the "list" for transiting Baharain twice in a 1 week period during the month of Ramadan (on my way to and from Diego Garcia). Regardless of my indentification (US NAVY) both agencies had me flagged as a "person of interest" because my travel history (or so I was told)...I was a very polite a$$hole with both, 1st with the dummy looking at my complete travel history and then again with the annoying customs officials who wanted to inspect my all 13 cases of electronic test equipment I normally travel with...it took over an hour since they took it all apart I made them put it all back together. And it wasn't like I didn't have paperwork for everything (in triplicate no less) but because I am a "person of interest" they wasted an hour of 4 agents time. I have no Idea if this will happen again but I hope so my concept of theis whole thing is that the only way change for the better is made it to make people's life miserable until they realize that they are acting stupid. well that and I get paid to travel so the longer I travel the more I make 8-D

Kris Weberg | December 9, 2006
Uhm, Tony...you're aware that Scott runs lots of Role-Playing Games?

Amy Austin | December 10, 2006
HAHAHAHAHA... he is now, Kris!

Aaron, you kill me. I've never heard of these things, though... how have you??? ;-) (BTW, it's hard not to imagine your voice sounding like Max the Miracle Worker's there... was that an accident? ;-D)

Tony, does "hammering the point home" really work with the stupid, though???

Tony Peters | December 10, 2006
yes Kris, I was aware it's the whole lack of emoticons thing... that trips me up...I like sarcasm but sometimes it's hard to convey...hell I still read comics, though these days it's gotta have good art or a good story or both (read Sandman by Neil Gaiman) for me to give it more than a glance.

Amy, in truth I have no idea if hammering a point home works with stupid but I do get perverse joy in messing with stupid people and at the end of 22hours of travel that is more important to me than whether it actually does any good (Philly is a terrible airport to travel internationally into, out of, aint bad though). I know that in the long run I'm pretty much untouchable as long as I don't do anything to bring me to their level...