13-XII-2006, or MMPI has nothing to do with Tom Selleck
by Aaron Shurtleff on December 13, 2006
WELL. What a fun couple of days! >:( (This emoticon denotes annoyance, disturbing thoughts, anxiety, and the utter lack of noses...and sarcasm...but only a touch of sarcasm)
At Dr. Coo-Coo's yesterday, I got started on a little test called the Minnesota Multi-phasic Personality Index (or, as I will mercifully refer to it from now on, MMPI). It's actually the MMPI-2, blah-blah, etc. There's lots of info on the internet, as if anyone really cares. It's kind of a personality test, which also helps to signal any possible "quirks". (NOTE: "quirks" is Aaron's way of not saying "tendencies towards being bat-shit crazy") Anywho, I was looking up some things on the internet, and of course, I've freaked myself out. It seems, from my limited research, that this is a test for (more or less) for really coo-coo people. I base this on the fact that there is a different test (California Personality Index or CPI) which is more often used for non-psychiatric purposes. So, already I have a bad feeling (not that I didn't already...:) ). Then, there are different questions which show different things (duh). They give examples and what they might mean. Well, of course, some of them are questions that I answered, and I gave the "wrong" answer. So, now I'm thinking about that kind of stuff. What if's, you know? I have to finish the test next Tuesday, and then (due to the holidays) it'll be two more weeks until I find out what the results look like. So, a good month to worry and obsess. Yay! :P
Also, and I put this here in case my wife is reading this, which I doubt, but I did say I have a blog, so you just never know, I've actually answered every question totally honestly. I know what you all are thinking, "What's the purpose of going to a psychotherapist if you're not going to come out and tell him everything that might be an issue?!" And to you people, I say, "F&*k you! You don't know what I got. You don't know what I'm holding back. You don't know what the consequences might be (neither do I, really, but that's not the point, and this is my blog, not yours!)" Nevertheless, I guess it's moot now, since I'm more-or-less fessing up. I hope. Besides, if Dr. Coo-coo suspected that something like this might be an issue, he would have asked, right? Just because I don't volunteer the information, doesn't mean I wouldn't have said something had I been asked. Really, I'm seeing Dr. Coo-coo for a recent development, not something I'd lived with and dealt with for years. And while I readily admit that those past experiences might shed some light on the recent stuff, it also might not, and I don't see why I have to possibly put myself way out on a limb for something that I feel I have under control.
I don't know. My mental issues don't make sense to me, which is probably how it is for us crazies. Who can say? Well, I guess Dr. Coo-coo!
And, yeah, I know that a standardized test like this is only part of the story, and that it also must be taken in light of other factors which tests cannot account for. This is could be much ado about nothing. But what if it's not?
Well, I've spilled out my guts...or my head, I suppose. I'm not really looking for replies, so please don't anyone feel that if they don't put in a sympathetic note, I'll hold it against them. I will, but don't feel that way! ;)
And besides, I'm not threatening to gouge anyone's eyes out with a pen, so I got that going for me! :D
Song of the day: "Room With a View" by Death Angel. It's about a guy in an asylum, looking out on the world. Or so I've interpreted it. Fits the mood right now.
I hope I don't get institutionalized.
Song of the day for tomorrow: "Institutionalized" by Suicidal Tendencies!
I'm not crazy!
You're the one that's crazy!
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