I have two revelations to make, one of which is truly momentous and possibly a sign of the Apocalypse, the other is just me being stupid, essentially. I'll deal with the stupid one first, just so that the second will be even more earth-shattering!

And I know that most of you will be disappointed by the second revelation, after I've hyped it up so much, but trust me, to me if to no one else, this truly is an amazing turn of events.

Firstly, though. I have not seen the new Transformers movie, and I am making a determined effort to not see it, and to encourage everyone I know not to see it (I'm failing miserably, by the way!) Why am I doing such a stupid and pointless thing? Because I don't like how the movie (and possibly the new cartoon series is the same way...I haven't watched it either) changes the Transformers I know and watched when I grew up. If you don't know what I mean, you might be what I see as part of the problem. Look, I'll narrow it down to what I think are the three biggest glaring problems:

1) Bumblebee is a yellow VW Beetle. This is not negotiable. This is who Bumblebee is. If you don't know this, in the movie, Bumblebee is a frickin' Camaro. (And not a Bitchin' Camaro...anybody get the reference??) There is a HUGE difference between a VW Beetle and a Camaro!! Whoever made this decison should be shot.

2) Megatron transforms into a gun. Again, to me, not negotiable. Megatron is not a plane, he is a gun. And please note, using excuses about how inappropriate it is to sell to kids a robot that changes into a gun is the worst excuse you can use. If you don't like the Transformers as they are, go poop on someone else's childhood, OK? I don't care about your marketing woes or your weepy parents. One of the main characters is a robot that transforms into a GUN!

3) This is a more recent complaint, but most people I talk to indicate to me that the movie, in some places, seems like a big commercial for a certain automotive company. I won't name them. I haven't seen it, so I can only go by what others tell me, but I have heard this from people who love movies, so I have to believe that there is something there. I don't think that's cool either. And, yeah, you can say that the original show was half hour commercial for the original toys, and that's a valid point. But you could buy transformers toys for much less than the price of a car. And, personally, my enjoyment of the show was not based on owning all the transformers (though I owned my fair share).

I think it's also fair to say that I am negative about it because it's a technical blockbuster. I tend to form negative opinions on movies if the one of the first things I hear about them is constantly how "awesome" the effects are. I think there should be more to a movie than just being a special effects powerhouse. I think story and characters are much more important than how "cool" the effects are. I don't know if the new Transformers movie has a great story or interesting characters, because that's never been what people want to talk about when they talk about the movie. They want to talk about the cool effects and the transformation scenes. That gets me...irked.

All right, enough bitching! On to part 2.

I'm having a moral dilemma or sorts. I have never been a big baseball fan. Oh, sure, I started rooting for a certain team when I was 7, but it was only to piss off people who rooted for the team that comes from a certain New England shithole city that I wouldn't miss if it was wiped from the planet. (Yes, I have long standing, illogical, deep issues with this hatred of a certain city and everything spawned from it. I know it, and I embrace it. I do have a reason for it, but that's not something I'm willing to go into. But, don't bother calling me out for being irrational about hating this city, because I know I am, and I don't care). And, don't get me wrong! It's not that my wrath has lessened, even slightly. It hasn't ,and it probably never will. This honestly, at this point, has nothing to do with Boston, Assachusetts. I just...I don't want to continue following my old team. I still enjoy watching them play from time to time, but I just feel a huge apathy about baseball.

I know what you're all thinking. "How is it a problem to not want to root for a sports team any longer? Just don't root for them!" Well, the problem is the team I've been rooting on for nearly 27 years of my life is...the New York Yankees. You don't just leave the Yankee Nation. It's like being in a major gang; the only way out is in a body bag! OK, I'm being melodramatic, but it feels that way to me! The Yankee fans are some of the most rabid, spirited fans I know (and I know a LOT of Philadelphia Eagles fans, and I've watched Canadian hockey fans, both groups that are famously crazy for their teams). Plus, the Yankees are in a slump, and it seems particularly horrible to leave now, like I'm jumping ship. I hate bandwagon jumpers, with a passion. I've been around a lot of them (HINT: If you are in Maine, and you are reading this, and you claim to be a Patriots fan, you're probably one of those people...and I mean I am 98% sure of that. NO ONE liked the Patriots in Maine before they started winning Super Bowls...but that's a rant for another time), and I've always looked down on them. I don't want to be that guy. And, incidentally, I don't think the Yankees suck right now. Yeah, they're not on top, but they've always got the ability to come back in the second half. I've watched them do it time and again (much to the distress of the Red Sux fans, whose team, also traditionally, falls after the All Star Break). I don't feel that leaving now is jumping ship when they are down (although I guess I wouldn't even raise the issue unless 1) part of me thought so, and/or 2) I desperately don't want to be seen that way). Who knows?

I mean, I guess I didn't have to be up front about it at all. I could have just not said anything, and quietly just..not rooted for them. No one would have known what was or wasn't in my heart, right? But, I'm honestly agonizing about the decision! And I don't even particularly like baseball! I just can't go on pretending.

God, I'm weird! ;)

Anyhow, that's what I got..for better or worse.

Song of the day: "Adia" by Sarah MacLachlan. It's my classic "I'm sad, but hopeful for the future" song. I don't know why this song has always struck me so profoundly, but it pretty accurately matches my mood, so I thought I'd share it. (Anyone who thinks the above is a joke, or a cry for attention, I seriously cannot believe I'm moving away from rooting for the baseball team I've followed for 27 years...27!!!) Plus it was robbed of a Grammy by a horrible song by a horrible Canadian from a movie I can't bring myself to see, so I guess I root for it for that reason, too. :)

To reiterate: I still hate Boston. I still hate the Red Sux. I just...don't love the Yankees. It's nothing personal...I think we just grew apart over the years. I will always remember fondly all the ups and downs of our relationship, and I know that those memories will bring a smile to my face at times, or a sad tear to my eye at others. But I have to move on. You're strong. You'll do fine without me. Go.

But don't go to the new Transformers movie. Fight the power!!!


Five Replies to 17-VII-2007 or To See Or Not To See...(SPOILERS?)

Amy Austin | July 18, 2007
Wow. I'm always comforted by reading your blog, Aaron, so that I can see that I'm not the only one with some bizarro issues. Thanks. ;) (No nose, just for you.)

And -- not that I planned on seeing it, but -- I think you effectively dissuaded me from the new-but-not-improved Transformers... a Camaro??? Wtf? If it doesn't run over the neighbors, then no, it definitely *isn't* a Bitchin' Camaro. This should be your song for part ! of this post, dude. (Though Adia is a good choice for the rest. I like Sarah, too.) And where is the NRA when you really need them? Psssh.

Aaron Shurtleff | July 18, 2007
Today on my way to work, I got cut off by a Toyota. It had a New York Yankees license plate border. COINCIDENCE?

Thanks for the bizarro issues comment. I feel better now! :P

Yay! I actually convinced someone! WOOHOO!

Amy Austin | July 18, 2007
Too bad you weren't cut off by a Camaro... now *that* would have been cool!

Is that sarcasm, or do you really feel better... knowing that you aren't the only one with bizarro issues???

(Doesn't mean I won't see it when it eventually comes to cable... just that I won't pay out-of-pocket for it at the theater -- fair enough?)

Aaron Shurtleff | July 18, 2007
Sarcasm? ME?! :)

Scott Hardie | July 21, 2007
I was on the fence about seeing Transformers, Aaron, but you convinced me. My reasons for not being interested are different than yours – it was directed by Michael Bay and it looks like shit. Is that enough?

I also read in a review that half of the movie is an awkward teen romance between Siah LeBoueauoaeuf and whatever young woman they plucked from the CW to be his co-star. Not that I want to see Bumblebee as a Camaro, but I'd rather see Bumblebee as a Camaro than an hour of awkward teen romance, especially directed by Michael Bay.

As for Bumblebee, I wonder if Bay was inspired by that old Onion brief: (link)


MiracleASSassin

Aaron Shurtleff uses this area as a dumping ground for his random thoughts... Read more »

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