How come I can't get through the grocery checkout lane without the clerk or the bagger commenting about how many cans of cat food I buy, which inevitably leads to questions about how many cats I own, how much I feed them, and why I need so many cans? Has nobody in this state heard of stocking up? For their information, I have one cat who eats two 3-oz cans of food a day, which is more than a typical cat but not unheard-of. Is there something wrong with my buying her three weeks' worth of food at once? All I do is go to the Fancy Feast shelf and buy one can of each flavor, right down the line, and apparently I belong in Ripley's Believe It or Not! for this extreme shopping practice.

Six Replies to A Pet Peeve That's Actually About My Pet

Lori Lancaster | August 8, 2006
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Jackie Mason | August 8, 2006
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Anna Gregoline | August 8, 2006
I personally think it's rude to comment on any customer's purchases.

Scott Hardie | August 9, 2006
I guess I don't mind being talked to about my purchases – just between you and me and the Internet, I have this little thing for supermarket checkout clerks – but to be made to feel weird about a particular purchase that I can't skip, and nearly every time I buy it, just turns me off. The next closest grocery is another 15 minutes away, but I'm tempted to switch.

Aaron Shurtleff | August 9, 2006
HOLY CRAP ON A POGO STICK!!! You buy 42 cans of cat food at a time! What's wrong with you??? jk Wait...42...why does that number seem significant... ;)

Seriously, though, I think it's universal. I buy a lot of fish (I have a modestly small aquarium, and a fish from hell that won't stop eating all of my other fish...and I can't bear to part with him), and the checkout lady always asks me why I don't buy the cheap feeder fish (they are ugly ugly fish), or advises me to check out the pH (or conductivity, or one of several hundred water quaility parameters that I know isn't the problem). Checkout people are just funny like that!

Also, at Wal-Mart, I used to have to buy lots of jalapeno peppers (like 15-20 pounds at a time) to maintain a colony of wasps (gotta love the entomology!), and I'd always get questions! I used to make stuff up sometimes! I would tell them that I was trying to break the Guiness record for the biggest fajita, or that I was getting revenge on my echeating lover by mixing them into his protein shake (hey, if I'm lying anyway, I might as well be gay!). It entertained me, and the cashier got to have a story to tell everyone, so no harm no foul, right? ;)

Amy Austin | August 13, 2006
Well, I don't know about "no foul"... (da-dum-dum!) ;-D

Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Scott's Pet Peeve #2519

Why do some microwaves have a convenient quick-start option if you press 1 or 2 or 3, so that they instantly start cooking with 1:00 or 2:00 or 3:00 on the clock... but DON'T have this same functionality programmed into 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, or 9, which do nothing when pressed alone? How does an engineer possess both the vision to provide the former and the lack of imagination that results in the latter? Go »


Even unconsciousness can't keep my brain from coming up with lousy puns. I just dreamed that another GM was telling me about this adventure game he was putting together... "So the heroes enter the forest, and before long they come across this little gingerbread house, with a sign that says PAY TOLL. Go »


Saving up is hard to do. I'm spending every dollar I have after the holidays to move Kelly here next week, then we have to move again in two months to a larger place. And I have more than a grand to pay in taxes. Go »


The bad news: I have a miserable cold (thanks Charlotte) and I slept for an hour last night. The good news: I had to speak in front of a hundred people today. Why is that good? Go »


Mighty Girl found a fun and simple way to make her announcement. Go »

Warp Zone

President Bush has a new advisor: (link) Go »