How come I can't get through the grocery checkout lane without the clerk or the bagger commenting about how many cans of cat food I buy, which inevitably leads to questions about how many cats I own, how much I feed them, and why I need so many cans? Has nobody in this state heard of stocking up? For their information, I have one cat who eats two 3-oz cans of food a day, which is more than a typical cat but not unheard-of. Is there something wrong with my buying her three weeks' worth of food at once? All I do is go to the Fancy Feast shelf and buy one can of each flavor, right down the line, and apparently I belong in Ripley's Believe It or Not! for this extreme shopping practice.

Six Replies to A Pet Peeve That's Actually About My Pet

Lori Lancaster | August 8, 2006
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Jackie Mason | August 8, 2006
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Anna Gregoline | August 8, 2006
I personally think it's rude to comment on any customer's purchases.

Scott Hardie | August 9, 2006
I guess I don't mind being talked to about my purchases – just between you and me and the Internet, I have this little thing for supermarket checkout clerks – but to be made to feel weird about a particular purchase that I can't skip, and nearly every time I buy it, just turns me off. The next closest grocery is another 15 minutes away, but I'm tempted to switch.

Aaron Shurtleff | August 9, 2006
HOLY CRAP ON A POGO STICK!!! You buy 42 cans of cat food at a time! What's wrong with you??? jk Wait...42...why does that number seem significant... ;)

Seriously, though, I think it's universal. I buy a lot of fish (I have a modestly small aquarium, and a fish from hell that won't stop eating all of my other fish...and I can't bear to part with him), and the checkout lady always asks me why I don't buy the cheap feeder fish (they are ugly ugly fish), or advises me to check out the pH (or conductivity, or one of several hundred water quaility parameters that I know isn't the problem). Checkout people are just funny like that!

Also, at Wal-Mart, I used to have to buy lots of jalapeno peppers (like 15-20 pounds at a time) to maintain a colony of wasps (gotta love the entomology!), and I'd always get questions! I used to make stuff up sometimes! I would tell them that I was trying to break the Guiness record for the biggest fajita, or that I was getting revenge on my echeating lover by mixing them into his protein shake (hey, if I'm lying anyway, I might as well be gay!). It entertained me, and the cashier got to have a story to tell everyone, so no harm no foul, right? ;)

Amy Austin | August 13, 2006
Well, I don't know about "no foul"... (da-dum-dum!) ;-D

Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »


There are some dangerous intersections in our neighborhood, where trucks come barreling through after the light turns red. This morning, Kelly and I were waiting at the light when she dropped her sunglasses. "Fuck beans," she muttered, unbuckling her seat belt and leaning forward just as the light turned green. Go »

The Ten Best Films of 2010 That I Saw

10) The Other Guys - An offbeat and frequently hilarious comedy seemingly performed by the seats of the actors' pants. Its randomness may turn off some, but the jokes clicked for me. How nice to have a movie so reminiscent of The Naked Gun in the year of Leslie Nielsen's passing. Go »

Abe, Honest

During my visit to Springfield last weekend, Kelly and I went to a historical reenactment on the outskirts of town. Every small city that can do so builds shrines to its homegrown celebrity, but Springfield takes worship of Abraham Lincoln to new levels of ridiculousness. Besides the museum with the ordinary tools used by Lincoln during his early twenties, the historical community had the actual buildings he slept in and worked in. Go »

Fuzzy Logic

Headline: Britney Spears goes bald. I'm her publicist. My client has an album coming out soon. Go »

Not-So-Confidential to My Gaming Group

I started writing this out in an email reply to John Gunter, but I guess it should be shared. I miss gaming with you guys, but I'm on the fence about continuing. I like each of you guys a great deal, but when we're together I just don't feel the click of a connection like I used to. Go »

Thank You Mario! But Our Princess is in Another Castle!

(link) Go »