Brenda woke up Saturday morning and said, "I just dreamed that you gave me a beautiful necklace for Valentine's Day. What do you think it means?" I told her, "You'll know tonight." Later that evening, I gave her a small package. Delighted, she opened it - to find Freud's 'The Interpretation of Dreams'. She gave me a gift last night - the loveliest burial plot you've ever seen.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Unlike Burger King, Special Orders Upset Us

Recent conversation with Brenda. Brenda: Feel like Subway for lunch? me: Only if I get a foot-long sandwich that's actually 12 inches long. Go »

Worst. Playground Toys. Ever.

"Mommy! Mommy! Can I crawl up the elephant's butt? Go »

Bingo!

I just came back from a Daddy/Daughter event at Lauren's school. It was a PTA sponsored Bingo night. Lauren and I spent two hours playing Bingo laughing in frustration about coming so close to winning and just hugging and sharing a good time. Go »

I Died a Spy

Recent conversation with Brenda: Me: When I die, I want people to believe I led a double life. Brenda: How and more importantly, why? Me: Try to respect my dying wish. Go »

One and One-half Is Not the Same As Two

Recent conversation with Brenda: me: There are not two scoops of raisins in my Raisin Bran. Brenda: Excuse me? me: There appears to be less than two scoops of raisins in my cereal box. Go »

Burning Microwave Popcorn

This guy puts all kinds of different crap in the microwave and films the results. My favorite is the eggs. Go »