Shopping Day.

I went grocery shopping earlier today because I had the afternoon free and I prefer to get it done when I have the chance as opposed to shopping at night because that's the only time available after a full day's activity. Added bonus: no UOAS. Apparently, she works evenings only. The checkout experience went terrifically. The guy at the register is someone I knew casually from past shopping experiences. He's an older guy who works as the store manager and helps on the checkout line as needed. Let's call him Mr. Wonderful. His repartee during checkout is such a polar opposite to UOAS that it makes me want to have his children. I kinda missed UOAS only in the sense that I can't report on what happened this time. I listened with pleasure at his pleasantries but my thoughts strayed to what UOAS would have said instead had she been there. I imagined it would have gone something like this:

Actual Mr. W (commenting on the pork ribs I found on sale): That's a really good buy.
Imagined UOAS: That's still too much for pig meat.

Actual Mr. W (eyeing my curly fries): I know you're gonna like these.
Imagined UOAS: What's the point of shaping french fries?

Actual Mr. W (when seeing the giant pack of toilet paper that I was buying): "Extra Soft" is so much more appealing to me than "Extra Strong".
Imagined UOAS: Do you ever get off the toilet?

Actual Mr. W: Do you have coupons?
Actual UOAS: I forgot to ring your coupons.

After our exchange was complete, Mr. W held out his hand to shake, looked me straight in the eye and said, "I hope you have the happiest Thanksgiving." There was genuine sincerity in his voice and in his gaze. I could have cried in appreciation. It made me grateful that there are people on this earth that are genuinely pleasant to interact with at the grocery. What a fabulous day! And UOAS, wherever you are - Happy Thanksgiving.


Five Replies to It's Saturday And You Know What That Means...

Jackie Mason | November 22, 2009
[hidden by author request]

Amy Austin | November 22, 2009
I don't know... this "disgruntled shopper" is actually having an entire imaginary dialogue with her. Sounds like love to me! ;;-D

Steve West | November 22, 2009
She asked me if I ever got off the toilet. An obvious sonnet of love, yes. Words of love, soft and tender...

Amy Austin | November 22, 2009
Yeah, I know... you do imagine some pretty funny declarations of love! ;-DDD

Lori Lancaster | November 23, 2009
[hidden by author request]


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Let's Hope The Dog Doesn't Like To Chew On Stuff

The baby's a little fussy - I know, let's give her Mom's ashes. Talk about a niche market. I expect some may find this adorable and clever, I just find it creepy. Go »

Steve West: Punnyman

Recent conversation with Brenda: me: I've only been addicted to one thing my entire life. Brenda: Yeah? What's that? Go »

Lisztomania

Interesting lists and compilations. 50 funniest movie scenes ever. 50 greatest commmercial parodies. Go »

End Of My Blog Sabbatical

Just came back from my local town's (Bowie, MD) fireworks display. For such a small town they really do a good job. This is really saying something where the fireworks show right next door (Washington DC's) Fireworks on the Mall gets national coverage. Go »

Police Dogs

Recent conversation with Brenda: Brenda: How was your day? Me: It was going so well until I got chased by a police dog. Brenda: Oh, sweet lord, why was a police dog chasing you? Go »

Lauren Peeks Into Imelda's Closet

Lauren is at Summer Camp until tomorrow and while she was gone, I sent her a card. It's become traditional for the card to be "shoe-themed". This year, the outside of the card featured a picture of the president awarding her a prize. Go »