It's Saturday And You Know What That Means...
by Steve West on November 21, 2009
Shopping Day.
I went grocery shopping earlier today because I had the afternoon free and I prefer to get it done when I have the chance as opposed to shopping at night because that's the only time available after a full day's activity. Added bonus: no UOAS. Apparently, she works evenings only. The checkout experience went terrifically. The guy at the register is someone I knew casually from past shopping experiences. He's an older guy who works as the store manager and helps on the checkout line as needed. Let's call him Mr. Wonderful. His repartee during checkout is such a polar opposite to UOAS that it makes me want to have his children. I kinda missed UOAS only in the sense that I can't report on what happened this time. I listened with pleasure at his pleasantries but my thoughts strayed to what UOAS would have said instead had she been there. I imagined it would have gone something like this:
Actual Mr. W (commenting on the pork ribs I found on sale): That's a really good buy.
Imagined UOAS: That's still too much for pig meat.
Actual Mr. W (eyeing my curly fries): I know you're gonna like these.
Imagined UOAS: What's the point of shaping french fries?
Actual Mr. W (when seeing the giant pack of toilet paper that I was buying): "Extra Soft" is so much more appealing to me than "Extra Strong".
Imagined UOAS: Do you ever get off the toilet?
Actual Mr. W: Do you have coupons?
Actual UOAS: I forgot to ring your coupons.
After our exchange was complete, Mr. W held out his hand to shake, looked me straight in the eye and said, "I hope you have the happiest Thanksgiving." There was genuine sincerity in his voice and in his gaze. I could have cried in appreciation. It made me grateful that there are people on this earth that are genuinely pleasant to interact with at the grocery. What a fabulous day! And UOAS, wherever you are - Happy Thanksgiving.
Five Replies to It's Saturday And You Know What That Means...
Amy Austin | November 22, 2009
I don't know... this "disgruntled shopper" is actually having an entire imaginary dialogue with her. Sounds like love to me! ;;-D
Steve West | November 22, 2009
She asked me if I ever got off the toilet. An obvious sonnet of love, yes. Words of love, soft and tender...
Amy Austin | November 22, 2009
Yeah, I know... you do imagine some pretty funny declarations of love! ;-DDD
Lori Lancaster | November 23, 2009
[hidden by author request]
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
The New Store
At a local mall, I overheard an interaction between two budding entrepreneurs and an old man strolling along with a cane. A new store announced with a sign, "Opening Soon!" and inside were the two guys opening a few boxes to stack their wares on shelves. Go »Japanese Terebi Game Shows 3
Operation: Make Amy Laugh. Another (and probably last) collection of wacky game show clips from television in Japan. Clockwork Creampuff; Painful Eliminations; Tricycling Idiots; and Treadmill Hurdles. Go »Who's In And Who's Not
Comprehensive site devoted to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Gives info that can be sorted multiple ways for easy searching. Provides information on who's in, when they got in, number of times they were on the ballot, etc. Go »Tattooing's Last Frontier
Aside from internal organs, there doesn't seem to have been any body part un-tattooed except for the eyeball. Until now. Colored contact lenses weren't good enough for this guy and I really expect him to be the first guy with a spleen tattoo. Go »Lisztomania
Interesting lists and compilations. 50 funniest movie scenes ever. 50 greatest commmercial parodies. Go »
Jackie Mason | November 22, 2009
[hidden by author request]