Recent conversation with Brenda:

me: You know how crazy I am for you?

Brenda: Crazy enough to raise three kids.

me: I'm crazy enough to ignore the voices in my head when we talk. I love your face so much that I'm going to keep it in the freezer when you die. I would eat a handful of caterpillars just to have butterflies fly out of my butt just for your amusement.

Brenda: Does insanity run in your family?

me: Insanity sees my family and runs the other way.


Three Replies to Crazy For You, Baby

Aaron Shurtleff | March 2, 2012
lol I love reading your updates!!

Erik Bates | March 2, 2012
[hidden by author request]

Chris Lemler | March 3, 2012
I agree with Aaron and Erik


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Not All Heroes Wear Capes

At 11:00 a.m., Brenda called me from the school where she works and told me that she had fallen and was unable to drive home. She needed me to 1) find a second driver for her car, 2) come get her and take her to urgent care and 3) make sure that Olivia is taken care of when she arrives home in an hour. Go »

Dumb Criminals And Other Court Type Stuff Part 3

Another small collection of weird legal matters. Yeah research, that's the ticket; Too manly for the ladies' room; Chi-tonw blues; Cat's got yer what?; and finally, I have no idea what it's like to be busted for DUI, taken for mugshots wearing a shirt displaying my love for midget sex, and then being forever haunted by that image surfacing on the internet, but I know who to ask. Go »

Guns are Not Really a Laughing Matter

Recent conversation with Brenda. Brenda: What would be the hardest thing for you to give up for Lent? Me: Shooting guns. Go »

Halloween Post #2: Halloween Masks, For Real

No matter how wrinkled I get. No matter how much money I ever make. No matter how desperate I become to restore the perception of my youth. Go »

Givin' It Up To The Man

There seems to be several different meanings to that phrase, these days especially. Meaning 1) A teenage girl in Germany sold her virginity online to an Italian businessman for $18000. She had hoped to raise $100K for schooling, I think. Go »

Real Life Comedy/Tragedy

Recent conversation with Brenda: Me: Why did you marry me? Brenda: Because you're funny, Me: I thought it was because I was good in bed. Brenda: You see? Go »