Recent conversation with Brenda:

me: You know how crazy I am for you?

Brenda: Crazy enough to raise three kids.

me: I'm crazy enough to ignore the voices in my head when we talk. I love your face so much that I'm going to keep it in the freezer when you die. I would eat a handful of caterpillars just to have butterflies fly out of my butt just for your amusement.

Brenda: Does insanity run in your family?

me: Insanity sees my family and runs the other way.


Three Replies to Crazy For You, Baby

Aaron Shurtleff | March 2, 2012
lol I love reading your updates!!

Erik Bates | March 2, 2012
[hidden by author request]

Chris Lemler | March 3, 2012
I agree with Aaron and Erik


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

How Old Is Too Old For Santa Claus?

My daughter Lauren wrote a letter to Santa in which she asked him for nothing - just a letter to say what a cool guy she thinks he is. It has a few misspellings and a grammar error or two and it's not written with the greatest penmanship. And it's completely adorable. Go »

No Clowns On Halloween Allowed At My Door

Or "How Ronald McDonald Kicked My Ass" About ten years ago, shortly before Brenda and I got married, we attended a Halloween party at a friend's house. The primary reason to get together was obviously to dress up like we did when we were little but secondarily to get drunk as a sailor on shore leave. The standard "funny name" cocktails were offered like "sex on the beach" and "southern screw" and "raw sewage". Go »

Lucky Number 5

Brenda looked over my shoulder once to see what I was reading that made me chuckle. I told her it was an off-color joke involving the number 68. As it happened, she noticed that this joke appeared on page 68 of the book I was reading. Go »

I Must Really Be Sick

Recent conversation with Brenda while recuperating in hospital: Me: Hey, wanna hear a joke I made up? I'm gonna tell my RN the next visit she makes. Brenda: Of course. Go »

Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?

Recent conversation with Brenda: While watching “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” in bed... Me: Do you want to have sex? Brenda: No. Go »

Homer Sings

Do-Re-Mi as sung by Homer Simpson DOh - The stuff that buys me beer. RAY - The guy that sells me beer. ME - The guy who drinks the beer. Go »