Gossip Grrr
by Scott Hardie on September 26, 2018
I didn't mean any harm by it. But I still transgressed against someone I don't even know.
My department at work is somewhat isolated, so I don't really know other people in the company well. I make and accept Facebook friend requests from anyone at work who seems like they have many connections to me. I figure, maybe it's a chance to get to know them better. I tend to skim their profile once and forget all about them.
This weekend, one quiet woman who I don't know well at all finally accepted a friend request that had been pending for a year. She goes by a married name at work, but I noticed that her maiden name was the same as a local celebrity, and she bears a resemblance. Sure enough, it looks from her profile like she's the sister of this semi-famous local guy, although I couldn't be 100% sure.
At lunch today, we got to talking about people who have been with the company for many years. Her name came up. I blurted out that the local celebrity is her brother. I explained how I learned it. The anecdote was mildly interesting and the conversation moved on.
Five minutes later, she stood up at the next table to leave, and glared at me on the way out. Obviously I hadn't even seen her there. I felt like a jerk, because I was one. It didn't even occur to me that this information was private and that she might be selective about who knows.
Now not only will she have a reputation for being related to this guy, but I'll have a reputation for not being able to keep a secret about co-workers. The difference is, I deserve mine. :-(
For whatever it's worth, I've learned the lesson. I will not gossip about people again, especially co-workers. I feel terrible.
Three Replies to Gossip Grrr
Erik Bates | November 18, 2018
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Scott Hardie | November 19, 2018
I appreciate that, thanks. But I still feel like I was negligent in my responsibility to be discreet with someone else's private business. It wasn't as bad as malicious blabbing, so pointing that out does make me feel better, but it was still wrong.
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Scott Hardie | November 18, 2018
Wonderful: It turns out she is the local celebrity's daughter, not sister. So not only did I blab information that was none of my business to share, but it was false information that made her sound much older than she is. I feel twice as terrible.