Happy Halloween! Celebrate this absurdly lovable holiday with a time-consuming habit of making a jack-o-lantern. Despite the inherent silliness of carving a gourd as an act of celebration, these pumpkins are very impressive. My pumpkin would rot in the two weeks (at least) it would take me to carve it into an extremely lame version of a Death Star. Wish I could commission one from that guy.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

When You Care Enough To Hit Send II

Outrageous site with about 200 funny e-cards. I scheduled several to be sent to my wife over the next few months. Go »

Sleep, Really?

Recent conversation with Brenda: Me: (after winning the wishbone break) Dead chicken says I get my wish. Brenda: What did you wish for? Me: What's your greatest fantasy? Go »

If It's Human Waste, Save Some For Me

Should Burt Reynolds' fecal matter be worth more than Crispin Glover's? Which costs more: David Lee Roth's fecal matter or Sammy Hagar's urine? Start your Christmas list now for Celebrity Organic Waste Products. Go »

Goo Con III

What a fantastic time! Matt is truly one of the most gregarious, fun-loving and genuine people I know. Denise and Kelly were completely charming (of course!). Go »

It's 419, Do You Know Where Your Dealer Is?

It's the eve of 420 and you don't have to be high to enjoy the following links, but it couldn't hurt. When this clock goes into production, it will be featured in my den. Smart dog or dumb dog? Go »

I'd Pick The Kitty

This is supposedly a real newspaper clipping although I can find no reference to which paper it is and is therefore suspicious. I choose to believe it is real so I can enjoy the joke more. Go »