Recent conversation with Brenda:

me: There are not two scoops of raisins in my Raisin Bran.

Brenda: Excuse me?

me: There appears to be less than two scoops of raisins in my cereal box.

Brenda: You can tell this by looking at the top of the cereal?

me: Don't be silly, I dumped it all out, sifted out the raisins, and put it back in the box.

Brenda: So now we have a box of Bran without Raisin.

me: I'll put them back but as you can clearly see, there is absolutely no way that is two scoops.

Brenda: What if their scoop is smaller than yours? Maybe they should switch to an even smaller scoop and claim there are 50 scoops in every box.

me: You are taking all the fun out of this.

Brenda: Eat some breakfast - you'll feel better.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Christmas Post #10: SNL Parody Inspires Product

I don't know if the SNL commercial parody for a product called "Ass Don't Smell" inspired the inventors of this product but the connection in my mind cracks me up. Meeting all of your body odor needs. I couldn't find the original sketch but here's a parody of the parody, I think. Go »

As The Firm Sang - I'm Radioactive

Brenda is under quarantine now because of an ablation procedure that makes her radioactive. Some stray thyroid tissue is apparently on her oncologist's hit list and he won't be denied. I'm sleeping on the couch for the next three nights and I'm doing the Daddy thing solo for the next three days. Go »

Christmas Post #22: Full Metal Rudolph

One of the first impressions I learned as a kid was the Charlie-in-the-box from the Island of Misfit Toys. "Nobody wants a Charlie-in-the-box." Yeah, that really cracked up all the girls in third grade. Go »

Vanity Plate

I saw a blue Toyota Rav 4 with a vanity plate SINGPLY. What the hell does that mean? StING PLoY? Go »

Speaking Of Tattoos...

"She Who Must Be Obeyed" (my wife) has graciously allowed me to alter my flesh by getting a tattoo. Much thought has gone into this. David Spade put it well after getting a Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes tattoo on his shoulder. Go »

Strange Dreams

I dreamt that I had died and gone to Heaven. Brenda lived a few more years and then she passed. When she got to Heaven, she saw me and ran to me with open arms saying how much she had missed me. Go »