Recent conversation with Brenda:

me: There are not two scoops of raisins in my Raisin Bran.

Brenda: Excuse me?

me: There appears to be less than two scoops of raisins in my cereal box.

Brenda: You can tell this by looking at the top of the cereal?

me: Don't be silly, I dumped it all out, sifted out the raisins, and put it back in the box.

Brenda: So now we have a box of Bran without Raisin.

me: I'll put them back but as you can clearly see, there is absolutely no way that is two scoops.

Brenda: What if their scoop is smaller than yours? Maybe they should switch to an even smaller scoop and claim there are 50 scoops in every box.

me: You are taking all the fun out of this.

Brenda: Eat some breakfast - you'll feel better.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Oscars 2012

Now that I can make no further changes to my picks, I'd like to hear about the categories people wrestled with most. I struggled most with costume, documentary and even adapted screenplay. Goodl luck everyone! Go »

I'm a Doctor, Not a Kitchen Appliance!

My toaster has a timer on it that let's you know when it's finished. It seems a little silly to add a timer beeping that's a redundant addition to the toast loudly popping up from the machine that means the same thing. So now, because the timer emits a sound eerily similar to an EKG indicating flatline, every time it goes off I'll say to Brenda, "He's bread, Jim." Go »

Where's the Luxury?

I'm sitting in a luxury suite at FedEx Field watching the Wahington Redskins play haplessly against the San Francisco 49ers. (Redskins missed FG) There's more cheering happening for SF than Washington which is typical lately. Dee Fence! Go »

Dog Lovers Unite

Recent conversation with Brenda: Me: I watched the neighbor's dog for an hour the other day. Brenda: That was nice of you. Me: I let him off the leash and a cop came up to me a few minutes later and said my dog has been seen chasing a guy on a bicycle. Go »

Slip Slidin' Away

Why do adults get on children's slides? Compilation film of various acidents, big, small, young, and old. The fifth clip in of the guy going down the water slide head first sans kid almost gave me a brain hemorrhage from laughing. Go »

Baseball and Androgeny

Recent conversation with Brenda: me: (watching baseball) Do you realize how filthy professional baseball players are? Brenda: Not first-hand, no. me: Look at these guys. Go »