So you've been abducted by aliens. How on Earth (literally) are you going to get back home? Fortunately, you are a forward thinker; a planner; an "any room I enter I have an escape route" thinker. You have obtained "Location Earth" dog tags. Wear these babies and never worry that E.T. won't remember from where you were absconded. Check out that money back guarantee!


Two Replies to Turn Left At Alpha Centauri

Jackie Mason | September 17, 2007
[hidden by author request]

Amy Austin | September 17, 2007
Haha! YES!!! Finally, that perfect gift for the guy/gal who has everything... In fact, I'm going to send one to Ed on his current deployment -- I *know* he will be grateful. ;-)

(And hey... if he gets abducted and doesn't make it back, I get my $12.99 back? What a bargain!)


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

If I Had A Hammer...

I once heard Leonard Nimoy singing this old Pete Seeger tune and it almost gave me epileptic convulsions. It has nothing to do with this link of an amazing artist who works with Hammer and Nails. It's just that whenever I see a hammer or box of nails or even a picture of Karen Carpenter - that's the song that leaps into my head. Go »

Really Cheap Costumes

Looking for a great photo for a future Halloween section in that photo album you can show the grandkids? Just wear one of these T-shirts. And then get arrested. Go »

Eleven Times Bliss

To celebrate our anniversary, Brenda and I decided to keep things simple. Kids with a trusted sitter, she and I would do the dinner and a movie thing. A romantic movie with not a thing being blown up, i.e. Go »

Halloween Post #2: Halloween Masks, For Real

No matter how wrinkled I get. No matter how much money I ever make. No matter how desperate I become to restore the perception of my youth. Go »

Toothpicks, They're Not Just For Club Sandwiches Anymore

Remember back in fifth grade when you had to build that bridge, vague geometric shape, outhose, etc. out of toothpicks? The project so fragile if the bus to school took a turn at more than 2 mph, it would crumble to pieces. Go »

Darth Vader Is Alive And Well And Living In My Toaster

So we got this gift from a mother-in law who shall remain nameless; a "super-mega-nuclear look at me long enough and your face will melt like that guy in Raiders toaster. There was nothing wrong with our existing toaster but when she saw it on QVC, my nameless mother-in-law had one of those have to have it moments. I've nicknamed the toaster Darth Vader because regardless of the setting, it turns the bread to the dark side every time. Go »