So you've been abducted by aliens. How on Earth (literally) are you going to get back home? Fortunately, you are a forward thinker; a planner; an "any room I enter I have an escape route" thinker. You have obtained "Location Earth" dog tags. Wear these babies and never worry that E.T. won't remember from where you were absconded. Check out that money back guarantee!


Two Replies to Turn Left At Alpha Centauri

Jackie Mason | September 17, 2007
[hidden by author request]

Amy Austin | September 17, 2007
Haha! YES!!! Finally, that perfect gift for the guy/gal who has everything... In fact, I'm going to send one to Ed on his current deployment -- I *know* he will be grateful. ;-)

(And hey... if he gets abducted and doesn't make it back, I get my $12.99 back? What a bargain!)


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Steve's Supermarket Adventure

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The Mickster = Imelda

Seriously, who needs 80 lbs. of shoes period, let alone for an 8 day trip. I don't change my shoes that often in a five year period. Go »

Mariah and the Subtle Burn

Recent conversation with Brenda (after hearing All I Want for Christmas... again): Me: Mariah Carey beginning with "I don't want a lot for Christmas..." and then revealing she wants "you" is kind of a burn, Brenda: She could mean that she doesn't want a lot of other gifts and only wants her man friend. Go »

Halloween Post #8: Geek-O'Lanterns

Happy Halloween! Celebrate this absurdly lovable holiday with a time-consuming habit of making a jack-o-lantern. Despite the inherent silliness of carving a gourd as an act of celebration, these pumpkins are very impressive. Go »

Guardians x 2

Brenda and I completed a court appearance via Zoom meeting that determined we were Olivia's official guardians. Actually the court is her guardian and we are the court's agents. We are guardians of person and property. Go »

Good News, Bad News, Good News...

Good News: Brenda got a job. Bad News: The pay sucks! Good News: Potential new career track. Go »