Turn Left At Alpha Centauri
by Steve West on September 15, 2007
So you've been abducted by aliens. How on Earth (literally) are you going to get back home? Fortunately, you are a forward thinker; a planner; an "any room I enter I have an escape route" thinker. You have obtained "Location Earth" dog tags. Wear these babies and never worry that E.T. won't remember from where you were absconded. Check out that money back guarantee!
Two Replies to Turn Left At Alpha Centauri
Amy Austin | September 17, 2007
Haha! YES!!! Finally, that perfect gift for the guy/gal who has everything... In fact, I'm going to send one to Ed on his current deployment -- I *know* he will be grateful. ;-)
(And hey... if he gets abducted and doesn't make it back, I get my $12.99 back? What a bargain!)
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
Art Imitates Life
I had a flat tire this morning and it momentarily bummed me out. I ran over a bolt and could see it sticking out of the damned thing. I really didn't feel like crawling around on the oily pavement in my work clothes, so I called roadside assistance provided by my insurance carrier. Go »Blue is the Hue
We (Brenda, Lauren and me) just returned from the Kennedy Center where we saw the Blue Man Group. This was Lauren's birthday gift - her birthday was in May and that's when we ordered tickets, but the show wasn't until today. It was worth every cent, and I envy Scott who lives semi-close to their permanent theater in Orlando. Go »That's Good Eatin'
Recent conversation with Brenda: Brenda: (Looking through mailer) Would you like to go to Floyd's Barbecue? me: Why would I want that? Brenda: We could get $5.00 Go »Pass Out Drunk And Still Be The Life Of The Party
I haven't passed out drunk since my brother's bachelor party 25 years ago. Thankfully nobody cared enough to torture me like these guys. I experience schadenfreude seeing photos of this nature but still laugh my silly ass off. Go »Dear Miriam...
Oh, thank you Miriam, that's great advice. BTW this letter is indeed a spoof of the "Dear Miriam" column in The Daily Mirror that appeared in the satirical publication Viz. Pretty damn funny, though. Go »
Jackie Mason | September 17, 2007
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