So you've been abducted by aliens. How on Earth (literally) are you going to get back home? Fortunately, you are a forward thinker; a planner; an "any room I enter I have an escape route" thinker. You have obtained "Location Earth" dog tags. Wear these babies and never worry that E.T. won't remember from where you were absconded. Check out that money back guarantee!


Two Replies to Turn Left At Alpha Centauri

Jackie Mason | September 17, 2007
[hidden by author request]

Amy Austin | September 17, 2007
Haha! YES!!! Finally, that perfect gift for the guy/gal who has everything... In fact, I'm going to send one to Ed on his current deployment -- I *know* he will be grateful. ;-)

(And hey... if he gets abducted and doesn't make it back, I get my $12.99 back? What a bargain!)


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

No Clowns On Halloween Allowed At My Door

Or "How Ronald McDonald Kicked My Ass" About ten years ago, shortly before Brenda and I got married, we attended a Halloween party at a friend's house. The primary reason to get together was obviously to dress up like we did when we were little but secondarily to get drunk as a sailor on shore leave. The standard "funny name" cocktails were offered like "sex on the beach" and "southern screw" and "raw sewage". Go »

Love is a Hurtin' Thing

Recent conversation with Brenda: Me: I need a reservation for Valentine's Day. Brenda: I'll see if I can find a restaurant that takes reservations for one. Me: No, I need a reservation for two. Go »

That Guy With The Glasses

Small representative sample of the films presented "in 5 seconds". Several are inspired by the original joke and many last more than 5 seconds, but all are abridged to hilarious result. These are my favorites: Rocky I, II, III, IV, V, & VI; Scarface; Snakes On A Plane; Titanic; and Gladiator. Go »

The Cause And The Cure For The Munchies

So, you're an executive pothead sitting around the confernce room table with all the stoner VP's. The discussion centers on marketing a product that, while overtly illegal, has such an upside in monopolizing the market and growth potential. And whose turn is it to change the bong water, anyway? Go »

Death, Taxes, and You're Wrong

Recent conversation with Brenda: Brenda: Does the sunset look strange to you? It looks like the sun is in front of the poles we're passing. What would cause that? Go »

Get 'Em While They're Hot

Good stuff. Video of the week 1: Cactus gameshow. We have the technology. Go »