Pigeon - An overweight urban dove with an iridescent neck and funky little head movements, commonly imitated by dancing humans.

Why you should hate them : Their cooing sends a dread through all humans, because if you can hear it, it is probably near enough to be decorating your property with disease-ridden droppings.
There is no escaping them, as they inhabit cities world-wide. Their favorite activity is frigging up the ornate facades of well-designed buildings. Aside: Why is it called a building if it's already been buitl? It is the non-insect equivalent of a housefly, in that it feeds on the most disgusting filth imaginable, and it frequently flies away when alarmed, only to return to THE SAME &(%*&*&%%&**&% SPOT seconds later. It also kisses up unstable people just for the food. It mocks the accomplishments of great historical figures by perching heedlessly on their plaster heads. It tries to appear on national T.V. by landing on fields and gridirons mid-game. Furthermore, a nameless terror can be brought about by gazing into the eyes of a pigeon.


AdriRant

Adrianne Rodgers complains about life and all its little nuisances. Read more »

The United States of Walmart

Walmart: Worst. Store. Ever. Go »

I Got Tuna Fish In The Mayonnaise

Which is far worse than getting jelly in the peanut butter. The spot of tuna has begun to fester and spread, leaving a repulsive brown stain. Lunch is ruined. Go »

Two Obnoxoius Teenage SubCultures

Goths vs. Emos...this isn't going to win me any friends in the high school set.... Go »

Adrianne's Dumbest Goo Moments

1. Guessed Lou Ferrigno for Steve Michalik 2. Very nearly guessed Anita Barone for Brittany Snow 3. Go »

Empty Ice Trays..

From the looks of things, you'd think it takes an advanced degree to refill an ice cube tray. I guess if I don't want to spend the next half hour skimming ice slivers off of sluggishly freezing cube slots, I might as well just go out and buy a ten pound bag. What do you mean, I'm the only one who lives here?!?!? Go »

Happy Freakin' Holidays

Can we please, *please*, give these stores a break people? There's no need to get all up in arms over the fact that Walmart and Target are greeting people with, gasp!, "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas." Go »