All of this landscaping has taken a serious toll on my aged body, apparently. I actually had to take a day off from work to recover from an aching back. When younger (twenties), I could chop a load of firewood blah blah blah. Same old "old guy lament", I know. It's just rearing its ugly head more and more lately. I don't exercise except playing with the kids, I don't eat well regularly (adult type Happy Meals still make me happy), and I stay up waaaaay too late so I suffer from poor sleeping habits. I find myself becoming nostalgic for old Geritol commercials and trying to remember what's in that shit. I need something. I can't call my boss and request another day off because I can't tie my shoes again. She's gonna start thinking dementia soon. Being a late father (first kid at 39) isn't helping with my energy. I just constantly feel like my cellphone with only one bar displayed. This rambling blog entry is a perfect example of how addled my thinking is of late. Maybe I should start eating that Icelandic fermented shark stuff. Foods that smell like ammonia might work like smelling salts and keep me alert.


Five Replies to I'm Too Young To Be Old

Scott Hardie | October 15, 2009
Would it help to force yourself to eat regularly and sleep regularly? We've been doing that lately after getting sick from not taking care of our basic health, and it has made a difference in feeling normal again.

The late-parent thing might get better. My parents had me at 38, and I was as boisterous as other kids in my early years, but by adolescence I had mellowed out and become a quiet kid by virtue of living in a mellow, quiet household. I knew my parents couldn't or wouldn't take me on roller coasters or let me have parties with friends or do other wild kid activities. I'm sure you're raising considerate kids, so they should grow to respect your limits too.

Steve West | October 15, 2009
That's welcome advice. I can alter my eating and sleeping habits, sure. I should and I'm sure I will out of necessity. That late parent thing I can't change. Lauren was followed by Olivia when I was 41. While I don't regret anything about them, slowing down is slightly more difficult with the needs entailed in Olivia's autism. How considerate she'll even be able to be remains to be seen. I'll start with what I can change and remain hopeful about things I cannot. Thanks.

Steve Dunn | October 15, 2009
Have you considered the use and abuse of recreational drugs? Stimulants are probably best for the symptoms you describe (cocaine, meth, speed) but you'll want to keep some downers on hand for balance and sleeping.

Steve West | October 15, 2009
Now I feel like the guy who is asked if he has any naked pictures of his wife. When I indignantly reply, "Of course not", I get the immediate follow-up question, "Wanna buy some?" Drugs and me are definitely yesterday. Thanks for the suggestion!

Amy Austin | October 16, 2009
Wink, wink... nudge, nudge.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

How Old Is Too Old For Santa Claus?

My daughter Lauren wrote a letter to Santa in which she asked him for nothing - just a letter to say what a cool guy she thinks he is. It has a few misspellings and a grammar error or two and it's not written with the greatest penmanship. And it's completely adorable. Go »

Who Needs a Karate Ghi?

Have you ever been in a position where you've had to choose between designer jeans or practicing jujutsu? Now your problems have been solved! You can have both. Go »

Homer Sings

Do-Re-Mi as sung by Homer Simpson DOh - The stuff that buys me beer. RAY - The guy that sells me beer. ME - The guy who drinks the beer. Go »

Toilets R Us

I got a thing for cool looking toilets. What can I say? I'd like most of these to be in Barbie's Dream House except for that face-to-face absurdity. Go »

Ho, Ho, Ho

I was in my car stopped at a light after going to Giant when two jokers pulled beside me and made motions for me to roll down my window. They drunkenly started shouting, "Hi, Santa! What are ya gonna bring me for Christmas this year?" Go »

Blue is the Hue

We (Brenda, Lauren and me) just returned from the Kennedy Center where we saw the Blue Man Group. This was Lauren's birthday gift - her birthday was in May and that's when we ordered tickets, but the show wasn't until today. It was worth every cent, and I envy Scott who lives semi-close to their permanent theater in Orlando. Go »