Lauren Peeks Into Imelda's Closet
by Steve West on July 23, 2016

Lauren is at Summer Camp until tomorrow and while she was gone, I sent her a card. It's become traditional for the card to be "shoe-themed". This year, the outside of the card featured a picture of the president awarding her a prize.
The President states, "Because you have saved the nation from all spiders I am awarding you this pair of magic shoes. While wearing these, you can run so fast that you can even outrun death itself."
Picture of Lauren with the quote, "Well, thanks..."
Inside the card starts with picture of Lauren pointing at a pair of individual toe shoes saying, "Wait, these are those shoes with the weird individual toes."
The President replies, "But wearing these shoes will make you immortal!"
Lauren responds, "I'm gonna have to think about this..."
One Reply to Lauren Peeks Into Imelda's Closet
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Mariah and the Subtle Burn
Recent conversation with Brenda (after hearing All I Want for Christmas... again): Me: Mariah Carey beginning with "I don't want a lot for Christmas..." and then revealing she wants "you" is kind of a burn, Brenda: She could mean that she doesn't want a lot of other gifts and only wants her man friend. Go »
Christmas Post #16: A Hillbilly Christmas
My father was born and raised in North Carolina. Throughout my childhood we would make the summer trek to my Granny and Grandpaw's house in the middle of the state. Many a summer night passed listening to roosters (they crow all friggin' night), the occasional gator grunt, and my hillbilly cousins fart and scratch while playing cards. Go »
Halloween Is For The Cats
Lest our feline readers feel left out, follow the links to some pretty cool costumed cats. They really look a lot more regal than their canine counterparts. Satan's kitty Earl, the cross-eyed cowboy kitty I am Me-owl from Krypton There isn't any garlic in that catnip, is there? Go »
I'll Have The Misogyny Au Gratin, Please
We were having dinner with my nephew the other night and the conversation steered toward his numerous relationships. He replied with that standard chauvinistic response, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" My wife looked at him directly and retorted, "Yeah, why buy the whole pig for just a little sausage?" Go »
Worst. Playground Toys. Ever.
"Mommy! Mommy! Can I crawl up the elephant's butt? Go »










Scott Hardie | August 7, 2016
Hehe, I like it. I take it there must have been some pretty good cards along these lines in previous years, too.