Lauren Peeks Into Imelda's Closet
by Steve West on July 23, 2016

Lauren is at Summer Camp until tomorrow and while she was gone, I sent her a card. It's become traditional for the card to be "shoe-themed". This year, the outside of the card featured a picture of the president awarding her a prize.
The President states, "Because you have saved the nation from all spiders I am awarding you this pair of magic shoes. While wearing these, you can run so fast that you can even outrun death itself."
Picture of Lauren with the quote, "Well, thanks..."
Inside the card starts with picture of Lauren pointing at a pair of individual toe shoes saying, "Wait, these are those shoes with the weird individual toes."
The President replies, "But wearing these shoes will make you immortal!"
Lauren responds, "I'm gonna have to think about this..."
One Reply to Lauren Peeks Into Imelda's Closet
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

My Child is a Kite
Parenting is like flying a kite. When I was a boy of nine, I went out to fly a kite on the banks of the Potomac River. The Virginia border sat just across the river. Go »
Sages And Fools
UOAS has been wonderfully absent from the grocery for the last month. Paradise only lasts so long, however. UOAS: (Eyeing the 3 lbs of sirloins on sweet sale) That's a lot of steaks, having a barbecue? Go »
The Peak of Stupidity
By far, the stupidest thing I ever did was at my brother's bachelor party almost 40 years ago. The memory of it still haunts me. A group of his friends (around 25 - I knew some, but we had gone separate paths shortly after High School) met at the house of one his construction co-workers in the Maryland countryside. Go »
Woman Attacks Karaoke Singer
A woman attacked a karaoke singer while he was singing Coldplay. A similar thing happened to me once. I was pretty drunk and I started a fight with some guy singing Dave Matthews. Go »
Got Those Grocery Shop On Saturday Blues
I'm starting to shift my thinking on who's the problem in my relationship with UOAS. Even the most passably inane thing she says requires a sarcastic comment from me. It seems to have become a moral imperative in my mind. Go »










Scott Hardie | August 7, 2016
Hehe, I like it. I take it there must have been some pretty good cards along these lines in previous years, too.