Lauren is at Summer Camp until tomorrow and while she was gone, I sent her a card. It's become traditional for the card to be "shoe-themed". This year, the outside of the card featured a picture of the president awarding her a prize.

The President states, "Because you have saved the nation from all spiders I am awarding you this pair of magic shoes. While wearing these, you can run so fast that you can even outrun death itself."

Picture of Lauren with the quote, "Well, thanks..."

Inside the card starts with picture of Lauren pointing at a pair of individual toe shoes saying, "Wait, these are those shoes with the weird individual toes."

The President replies, "But wearing these shoes will make you immortal!"

Lauren responds, "I'm gonna have to think about this..."


One Reply to Lauren Peeks Into Imelda's Closet

Scott Hardie | August 7, 2016
Hehe, I like it. I take it there must have been some pretty good cards along these lines in previous years, too.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Halloween Post #1: Too Early For Halloween?

Yes, it's too early for Halloween. However, if you plan to order or make a Go »

Christmas and a Lizard's Tale

One Christmas when Lauren was eight, like a lot of girls her age, wished for a pony. My backyard at the time was about the size of a Volkswagen Minibus. Despite her assurances that she would let it roam the neighborhood for sufficient exercise, I said, “Not this year,” as I pictured myself following the horse with a pooper scooper. Go »

Me and Al Bundy

Recently, Brenda made the mistake of asking me to fix the toilet. It seemed to have gunk in the thingy that supplies the water and would only filll if I poked it with a paper clip in the spout thingy. You can tell I'm a semi-professional because of all the technical jargon. Go »

One From Column A & Two From Column B

Serve yourself. Remember those "Fold-ins" from Mad Magazine? Here they are. Go »

All Aboard The Idiot Train

I swear that lately, I feel like the proverbial snowball that inexorably turns into an avalanche. Yesterday, I was unloading the van of the last of the grass needed to complete the front yard landscaping. Only 170 square feet so it wouldn't take long. Go »

Givin' It Up To The Man

There seems to be several different meanings to that phrase, these days especially. Meaning 1) A teenage girl in Germany sold her virginity online to an Italian businessman for $18000. She had hoped to raise $100K for schooling, I think. Go »