Lost Things
by Denise Sawicki on August 22, 2006
Darrin's sheet and pillowcase disappeared some time back, and I just discovered my nice black pants are missing. I almost always wear jeans so I have no idea how long they have been gone. We searched thoroughly for these items and the only theory we can come up with is that Darrin's ex-girlfriend took them. But that doesn't make a whole heck of a lot of sense.
It reminds me of something else that kind of bothers me - sometime within the last two years, my mom threw out the old Atari and a ton of games, as well as the TI-994a computer and some games for that. That TI is a whole chunk of my childhood. That TI (not high school or college) is probably what most prepared me for my job. That's where I learned to program at the age of 7 or 8. Now I must say, I still don't have much programming competence beyond a 7- or 8- year old's level, but my boss apparently thinks that's good enough. :P Anyway, I don't know why she had to do that. It's irritating. I didn't see that coming at all. She had even bought replacements for both systems when they broke, though this was already long after both systems were obsolete. That was her own decision so I thought she wanted them around... she probably used the Atari more than I ever did. So then why'd she go and throw them out one day without mentioning it to us? Darrell would so much like to have an Atari to play with in the crawlspace. I was telling him about the great old game Mountain King and I downloaded midi versions of the two classical songs that game played so he could hear how great they sounded. Why throw them out? A lot of people our age would pay good money for those things. Sigh.
I almost feel like it was an act of intentional meanness or something. I didn't realize it, because I am dense (that's why I'm called DENiSE) but she had been really irritated with me for more than 10 years, ever since I left home for college. I left a bunch of worthless toys at my parents' house, and she had wanted me to either take them away or throw them out. But she never told me this. She assumed this was something I should know on my own. She was very offended that I never figured this out on my own. When she finally told me, she was crying over how stupid and inconsiderate I am not to have figured this out. So I finally obliged and threw out all my old stuff. This didn't include the Atari and TI, however. I guess those were my mom's and not mine. I'm just confused as to why she had to wait and stew about the presence of the crummy old Richie Rich comic books that weren't even mine, but belonged to my half brother who's been out of our lives for over 20 years, but she couldn't even ask if we wanted the video game stuff. Sigh. It just doesn't make sense, so maybe she DID ask and I am conveniently forgetting. Maybe I agreed to their disposal myself because I was feeling so irritated and unloved that day :P
I'm a terrible daughter. I know she does love me. I just can't really relate to anyone or figure out the proper way to act even with my own mother. A good daughter would have thrown out all the old toys immediately. I need to be told everything point-blank, but the real world is full of all kinds of subtleties that you have to figure out for yourself to avoid being a pariah.
Anyway with the latest item disappearances I am kind of mourning the loss of that Atari system.
Why do I only mention my mom, when my parents are still married and still live together? I guess because my dad couldn't care less about extra clutter in the house. Throwing stuff out is up to my mom.
Six Replies to Lost Things
Denise Sawicki | August 22, 2006
Lori, thanks... I guess that Walmart thing wouldn't be ideal for us though because Darrell has tons of game cartridges he wants to use that aren't included with that. Apparently you can weld on a cartridge port or something but that sounds too difficult for us.
It's just a weird and irritating feeling when something disappears. I probably am recalling events wrong but I thought at the time my mom said the video game stuff was hers and she was keeping it. It wasn't one of the things I was supposed to deal with. I lived in an apartment at the time and wasn't too interested in finding room for it anyhow, but now we have a house and Darrell wishes he had it. He is a lot more into video games than I am.
Jackie Mason | August 22, 2006
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Lori Lancaster | August 23, 2006
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Jackie Mason | August 23, 2006
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Scott Hardie | August 27, 2006
Denise, your mom seemed like a nice woman the one time I met her, but I don't understand why she would get so angry that you didn't figure out you should take your stuff. Is there some rule of etiquette preventing her from suggesting (or even insisting) that you come and get it? Sounds like she's to blame for her own distress over it. Life doesn't come with a manual, and you've contentedly marched to your own drummer in life anyway, so where does she expect you to know that you're supposed to take your stuff?
My mom did tell me to take it, but by then it was already a point of contention between us: I'd spend the night at a friend's house in junior high or high school and come home to discover that my room or play area had been cleaned and half of my stuff was gone. It burned me every time and caused a big fight when a roommate did it to me in college.
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