I just get so frustrated. I want my husband to be happy but the things he's decided will make him happy are completely out of our control (success at music). I wish something good would happen for him finally.

Our puppy has decided to start barking in the middle of the night. We hardly got any sleep. That's also my fault because I was obsessing about something. What does someone mean when they say "give what you can"? What I technically "can" give is a somewhat ridiculously large amount because I've been saving my whole life. But I don't want to give up our entire future financial security to people I honestly do not know. This probably makes me a bad person. Obviously it does. I just feel so totally evil and worthless so much of the time. There's no help for it really.

We are taking Philip to puppy school tonight, and then the guys have a show. So that means at least two car trips, since puppies aren't allowed in bars last I heard. Actually a sheltie attended one of the guys' shows once but it must have been a special sheltie to be allowed that. I don't much like shows on work nights. I'm not sure I can even stay awake that long. Then again, sometimes I lose the need for sleep, so it might be OK.

I've sometimes found around here that people don't know what the heck I mean if I use "Indian" to refer to a person from India. Then again, we are more backwards and lily-white here in ND than most places. Sorry for the confusion.

Five Replies to Frustrated

Lori Lancaster | October 19, 2006
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Denise Sawicki | October 19, 2006
not really - I'm messed up. We gave like $6000 already but technically "can" give more, though I'm being told we're not supposed to. Sometimes I want to just be rid of everything so I can no longer be holding back others who are more worthy.

Lori Lancaster | October 20, 2006
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Denise Sawicki | October 20, 2006
Getting rid of savings doesn't make a current impact but it makes a future impact I'm sure. Anyway, I'm just a bit insane and self-hating so in reality there's no issue, as we already gave a lot. (But the person says they will pay it back, so perhaps we've done nothing). Thanks for the input.

Aaron Shurtleff | October 20, 2006
Wow. I'm not sure what kind of back story there is or what I missed, but I don't think you can justify feeling evil and worthless because you don't give enough if you've already given $6000. Unless you're like Bill Gates rich or something, $6000 is a goodly sum of money. You shouldn't feel bad just because you can technically give more, if you know that giving more has the potential to put you into a bad situation down the road. Think of it like this: If you put yourself into a bad situation, then you will be even less able to help someone else out later if you need to. It's really to everyone's advantage that you are a saver! :)

Now barking puppies, I got nothing. I hope puppy classes do the trick.

Prayer for the Paranoid

Denise Sawicki posts whatever she feels able to post without serious consequences Read more »

American Gothic

Well, for quite a while I have had nothing to say to anyone about anything and it is getting a bit claustrophobic. So I figured I should start saying some things into the void, dumb and trivial as they might be. A while back there was a video store closing sale so we picked up a number of TV series on DVD at 75% off. Go »

I love waking up early

I got up before 5, took a shower, did a bunch of my fun and addictive getting-free-stuff-on-the-internet activities, had breakfast, and went and found some treasures in Kameo, all before heading out to work at 7:50. That was awesome. We always go to bed before 10 anyway so what's the point hanging around in bed in the morning when I'm not tired. Go »

Stupid stuff

Well the most exciting thing to report is I've developed a crush on a TV character. I think this is a pretty clear sign that I need a life. It's not even a remotely original or interesting choice (besides being behind the times) and I don't actually like bad boys dammit :P Go »

Sorry about that extra tall image

Sorry I screwed up the obsessions page with that tall image. But it is true, I have a new obsession. Gee... Go »

False Hope

So the guys' band had a show on Saturday and it went really well. A bunch of people came up to say they did a good job, and the headlining band (another local act) really liked the music and wants to do other shows together. And they even got paid! Go »

Crazy day

More happened today than in my usual month I think... which goes to show you how uneventful my life is. So I don't think sleep is really going to happen. Go »

Happy anniversary!

Chris Lemler joined Funeratic 11 years ago today.