My Child is a Kite
by Steve West on November 1, 2021
Parenting is like flying a kite.
When I was a boy of nine, I went out to fly a kite on the banks of the Potomac River. The Virginia border sat just across the river. I flew my kite in the same winds responsible for the violent current and they did not disappoint. I watched and maneuvered as the air pulled it higher and further over the river. With every tug I felt in my hand, I released more string, and what I released, it took. Every extra inch I gave was an inch it grew until I had nothing left to offer.
Still at its apex, the kite pulled at all the string I had, and my hands, firmly clasped around the wooden spool, tried to control it without pulling it out of the sky completely. But once I'd gotten the hang of flying a kite with the string fully unraveled, I got restless again. I was out of height to offer, but the kite wasn't out of height to gain. I could continue to let it fly only while I was holding it, and eventually draw it out of the sky back to where it started. Or... I could let it go and watch it pursue new height without me and ultimately end up somewhere else - somewhere I could not get to it - somewhere along the Virginia border.
Being nine, I was still more in awe of the elements than afraid of them, so the next time I felt a pull, I let the kite go. I watched it take all the air that my hold on the string had kept from it. Without my guiding hand, it tumbled and fluttered, sputtered and dipped. But it stayed in the sky - stayed above water. I watched transfixed as the kite that used to be mine easily cleared the mighty Potomac. And I stayed on the Maryland banks until I'd seen it glide slowly down to rest on the grounds of a different state.
Fifty years later, I helped my daughter pack. She was headed to North Dakota, 1400 miles away. I had taught her, among other things, all the states and their capitols, the order of the U.S. Presidents, four chords on the guitar, how to ride a bike, basic sign language, and what a free safety does on a football team. And I was out of string.
I stood firmly on the Maryland ground while she flew to another state to settle her house, earn a living, run marathons, and mentor other young women. I could not have done those things for her, I could not even have guided her subtly through them - I could only release her and free her to pursue them.
It is a terrifying thing to let something that once belonged to you belong to itself instead... to test the integrity of what you've made against the winds and above a violent, dominant current. But as far as you can lead someone is not as far as they can go. It is the tragedy and triumph of creating something capable.
But kites were made to fly, not merely to be flown.
Two Replies to My Child is a Kite
Steve West | November 7, 2021
I was getting a little worried about you and dumbfounded as to what to do about it. Then I saw an update on Facebook and relaxed.
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
Mean Husband... or Funny Guy?
Since Brenda is home and doing well, I will share yet another reason I will spend ETERNITY IN HELL. At the hospital, after her surgery and recovery, she began to wake up in the room. She was covered in a blanket up to her neck, and as her eyes barely fluttered open and she saw me standing over her caressing her cheek, I said, "Baby, something went wrong and they had to remove your whole body. Go »She Obviously Wants To Outsource
Recent conversation with Brenda: Brenda: After getting a new toilet, I'm seriously in the mood for a new bathroom. me: Oh, really. Brenda: Yes, really. Go »So You Say You Want A 2007 List
Site that collects all the lists from other sites pertaining to 2007. Very handy. Go »Halloween Post #7: Scary Movies
Movie moments are still stuck in my head from films I saw 30 years ago, moments that scared the crap out of me then and still run chills down my spine today. This web page has collected 100 of these scary film moments and tried to supply a Youtube clip for each one (not successful) and some interesting commentary. This site might hold you until Halloween. Go »Halloween 2015
A pretty fun time again this year. My brother and his wife hosted a costume party and because Cheryl is a breast cancer survivor, she requested that each costume contain a touch of pink. I carried around a baguette and sang I Want to Rock 'n' Roll All Night in French (Je veux du rock 'n roll tour le soir, et jeter tour la jour). Go »
Scott Hardie | November 7, 2021
I'm sorry I didn't get to read this sooner, Steve. (I'm just busy.)
This is lovely and a great metaphor, and indirectly a nice tribute to your daughter too.
Barack Obama described parenthood as being like your heart walking around outside of your body every day. It's not for the weak.