No R'lyeh, I'm Not a Fan
by Scott Hardie on May 18, 2013

I never thought of myself as a fan of H.P. Lovecraft. I don't think I've read more than a couple of his short stories. Mostly, I respected him from a distance as an influential American writer.
But after I worked some Lovecraftian plot elements into Gothic Earth, and I watched several movies adapted from his stories, and I spent a day playing a huge board game based on his work, a friend sincerely remarked that I would like a certain other thing related to Lovecraft because I'm such a huge fan of his work. Perhaps I am a fan after all, or perhaps his work is just everywhere. I have no particular interest in vampires -- if anything, I'm tired of them -- but I have included them in Gothic Earth and played board game based on them and seen them in movies.
I guess it's a question of identity: Do I merely like something, or do I like something so much that I become "a fan," which makes it a part of who I am? I don't "like" very many things on Facebook because I don't want to feel reduced to such simple attributes, or to declare a piece of pop culture to be so important to me that it's a part of me. And that's a sort of lie, because some pop culture IS a part of me; I can name a dozen books and movies and shows off the top of my head that have influenced my personality and worldview and creative process.
Back when punk bands used to turn up often in Rock Block on this site, Steve Dunn used to call me a fan of punk music. I'm not, at all, and I never found out whether Steve was sincerely mistaken or messing with me; I gave up and played along as if he was kidding. Perhaps it's the lack of any declaration of fandom that led him to fill in the gap with an observation about what I seemed to like, and it's the same with my Lovecraft-minded friend more recently. If we don't take control of our identity, we let others define us, even if it's something as trivial as our feelings about a particular piece of culture.
Three Replies to No R'lyeh, I'm Not a Fan
Tony Peters | May 23, 2013
In Highschool I read everything he wrote and made yearly pilgrimages to his grave in Providence (its very understated). The one story I really want to see as a movie is "At the mountains of Madness"
Scott Hardie | May 27, 2013
Good point about waiting in line, Lori. A friend of mine said yesterday, "I've never bought tickets to anything months in advance. I've never camped out on the sidewalk. I've never gone to a midnight premiere of a movie. Getting up in the middle of the night to watch Arrested Development's fourth season on Netflix is all I have. Let me enjoy it!"
Logical Operator
The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

R.I.P. Harry
It's been a melancholy weekend since learning of the passing of a family friend. Fifty years ago, Harry and my mother went on a date. They didn't quite click, but she liked him enough to introduce him to her best friend, and sparks flew between them that soon led to marriage and a lifetime of gratitude to my mother for introducing them. Go »
Retrospection
If I recall the dates correctly, yesterday would have been my grandmother's 100th birthday. She lived to just shy of her 89th, despite a lifetime of chain smoking. I remember her as a sweet, generous woman who liked to laugh and teach me life's simple pleasures; a typical afternoon for us was playing crazy eights and baking cinnamon rolls. Go »
R.I.P. Mom
You were so still in your bed when I could finally sit down beside you, a few hours after the facility notified me that you had died. I hadn't seen you be that peaceful in years, your eyes not scanning the room for clues, your hands not turning over each object in front of you for endlessly repeated examination. I whispered to you the most urgent and most precious things I had to say, the secrets and atonements and wishes foremost on my mind. Go »
Signs and Wonders
Driving through Georgia now. Just passed a plain yellow billboard saying The God with Moral Fault, amazon.com. Hidden agenda? Go »
Dodgy
"Is that a Dodge Dakota pickup truck? I heard that Native American tribe is really upset at the commercialization of their name." "Yeah. Go »
Lori Lancaster | May 23, 2013
[hidden by author request]